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This is long so feel free to ignore. Re faith, a lot of Anne Lammonts words below resonate with me. The last paragraph i believe so firmly, have seen so clearly in the way friends, health care providers and strangers have been so kind to me.
_________ Many mornings I check out the news as soon as I wake up, because if it turns out that the world is coming to an end that day, I am going to eat the frosting off an entire carrot cake; just for a start. Then I will move onto vats of clam dip, pots of crime brûlée, nachos, M & M's etc. Then I will max out both my credit cards. *edit* Facebook copyright issue Anne Lammonts words |
I used to watch the world news all the time. I don't any more. It is not healthy for me. There is nothing I can do to change what is happening in the middle east. Iraq has already taken my daughter from me. I hope someday to get her back. Her deployment has left her needing a very long healing process.
I have lived with PCS for almost 5 decades. I continue trying to do what I can for myself and those around me. The current strife in the world is nothing compared to WWII. My mom lost her brother in that war. Many did. But, life goes on whether we focus on the bad or the good. It is much easier to live without focusing on the bad. If we are going to get better, we MUST avoid anxiety inducing behaviors. Plain and simple. willgardner, The brain does not regenerate brain cells like the rest of the body. If it did, we would lose all the learning of the past. It is sad you believe you are not built in a way that you can be a Christian. I sense a hopelessness in your comments about life. I've been to Israel. What a beautiful country. The fact that it has survived over 2000 years of strife shows somebody powerful is in charge. Even Hamas complains that their rockets are redirected by the God of the Jews so they miss their intended targets. How have 5 million people fended off 50 million people who want them wiped off the face of the earth ? I look at how the brain works and see divine design. Even when it is damaged, it follows a intricate design. But that is my opinion/belief. It has benefited me for decades. My best to you all. |
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i stopped watching the news. Mark is right. It is stressful and there is nothing I can do about it. It wont affect me and I have no kids to worry about.
Not believing in God and not having kids makes this a devastating illness to live with. There are no brighter days coming in this life as there is no real hope in our generation for a "cure". The darkest before the dawn doesn't apply. I will be sick and childless in this life until I die and cease to exist. The possibility of dementia or Alzheimer's is increased with multiple brain injuries and the possibility of living in the street with a brain injury is for me a possibility. Grooming has gone out the window and I look like a Wildman with my hair and beard. It can be up to 2 to 4 weeks before I leave my house. Usually to psychiatrist to get pills. I have stopped taking the nonessential pills for blood pressure, cholesterol and dexilant for Barrett's esophagus. In my dreams I am almost always young, and the long dead are almost always in them. There is hope and youth and possibilities in those dreams and I wake up devastated from them. Last night I closed my eyes tight hoping I was still 15 and this was a terrible dream and a warning to live my life carefully. My life has become a horrifying Twilight Zone episode. My lifeline is Ambien Xanax and Advil PM with the occasional oxycodone if I get to my old pain management doctor. I had depression before the injuries and as you can see, it is magnified with the injury. I was 37 and completely healthy besides depression, had a great job, friends and a great family. For some reason I decided to drink with dangerous medications and get my first abi. If there is a God, I will have a lot to answer for. Certain senior members of this board and I are a contrast. Two ways to approach the injury. I suggest you take theirs. Hopelessness is a terrible and dangerous place to be. |
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I am a great believer in neuro-plasticity. With therapy, I feel you could learn to cope better with the tasks/challenges of daily life. That in turn could give you greater confidence and self-esteem. Just being in a more structured environment might help you get more grounded. I do so much better when I have a routine to follow. I know it's hard - believe me - but I feel that you might be underestimating your potential. Do yourself a favour: go on you tube and watch "The Brain that Changes Itself." When I'm down, I watch it again - and it gives me courage. Man, if you knew where I'd started my recovery... Even the doctors told my husband I was a "right off." Well, in your face, white coated devils. :D |
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I'm going through my darkest days now and this is not going well. I cry constantly and just can't stop.
My cat is sick. The receptionist in our veterinary hospital was talking to me like I'm some kind of retarded or plain stupid person (I didn't get much sleep last night because of my cat that made me even more slow than I already am). I came back home crying. Still crying in fact. My kids help A LOT. I think they are what helps me to get through my darkest times. They always tell me that I'm the best mom ever. They draw cheering pictures for me (like flowers or trophies for the best mom). I am so blessed to have such wonderful children. Favorite movies also help. I can't watch much of a TV, but I put them on and I listen. I find that very relaxing + listing to my favorite movies takes my mind off sad things. Sometimes crying helps. Or kicking the wall. Sometimes you need to let your emotions out so they won't damage you from inside. Starbucks helps. When I feel down, I go to Starbucks, order myself a latte (I know it's breaking the rules). I sit by the window and watch people or cars. I find that peaceful. Baking helps. I love to bake. My kids are so spoiled, they don't eat store bought muffins, scones, cupcakes or cinnamon rolls. The only thing I buy is cakes when I need one because I suck at baking cakes. I'll think of something else that helps. I pray for you all Marina |
Luckily for me, after almost four years, it looks as if my darkest days through this ordeal are finally behind me.
But I still remember them... I would create jokes out of anything I could. I would also try to relive my favorite memories - but this technique would backfire sometimes because half the time they would make me very happy that I got to experience them at all and that I lived life to the fullest when I could sometimes they would make me very sad that I never thought I would be able to enjoy life again like I did before the accident. And I also liked to plan what I was going to do and think about that... if I could make a plan for lunch with a friend or family member, then thinking about it, or getting ice cream, or chocolate, or whatever would make me happy, or just knowing that I would. Or wondering what I was going to do with my life - MarkInIdaho helps so many people here on Neurotalk every day, or several times a day, and he is doing something very productive. Would I have done something similar if I couldn't return to work full time? Or would I have done something else? What field of work would I have gone into if I had to leave the one I'm in? Daydream Sometimes the pain was so severe all I could do was pray. |
lately I am getting through my darkest days by sleeping 16 to 18 hours a day. My girlfriend hates it and says she is alone all the time and that I have given up. I don't know.
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