I started taking lexapro about 5 months into my injury, it was prescribed primarily for anxiety, although I was often depressed too. I am also someone who does not enjoy taking meds (have hardly taken tylenol for my constant headaches), and if you'd have told me a year ago that I'd be on an anti-depressant I wouldn't have believed you, as I've never been depressed (numerous people called me the happiest person they'd ever met).

It was with a degree of reluctance that I started on lexapro, as I just didn't like the idea generally and was afraid of side-effects, but my anxiety had reached a point where what I had been doing was insufficient to stop downward spirals into anxiety and depression that were preventing healing, so I thought I had to do something.

Having been on a 10mg dose (which is low I guess) for a couple months, I can say that I think it has helped with anxiety. I simply don't get stuck in negative thought patterns as often, and can recognize them coming on more easily (meditation has helped tremendously with this). Also, the visceralness of the flight/flight response is not what it used to be, which helps.

It has not helped as much with depression, but I really think that's just a consequence of me being unhappy with what my life has become and sometimes hopeless that I'll get it back. But that's getting better with time I guess.

I haven't experienced any noticeable side effects, and I'm hoping this continues through the weening off process. I'd like to get off it ASAP, just because I won't feel totally better till I can get on normally without it, but I figure I should wait till I'm seeing significant progress.

Yes that is me! You would think I would wake up feeling energized and ready to take on my day, instead I wake up with a headache and have horrible fatigue all day. The normal average is 7-8 hours, the 10 usually only happens after I go through 3-4 days of 4 hours of sleep because of insomnia.

My doctor mentioned that to me, I usually try to do a little reading or watch a movie because if I try going back to sleep the stress of not being able to go back to sleep usually keeps me awake. Vicious cycle!

Laupala-
You described what is happening to me perfectly. This downward spiral has me thinking I am very, very insane and I'm not kidding. I want to get a handle on this so terribly bad. But where do you begin when you feel the anxiety is automatic and you can't find a trigger?

I feel so hopeless these days. I beginning to feel like detached from myself because I'm so different than what I was before the accident. I hate looking at myself in the mirror because I don't know who that is anymore.

My feelings of anxiety are slowly slipping into constant fear and paranoia almost. I think about this constantly and can barely hold a conversation with someone. I'm terrified of becoming mentally ill beyond repair.

RAllen,

At your current condition, it appears your current meds are not helping at all. You need to seriously consider a change in meds to find something that works. A benzo like Klonopin can be a quick acting and short term help.

Just because a doctor prescribed a med does not mean it has any credibility. Most doctors are a try this and see how it works for you, especially with SSRI's and other psychotropic meds. You need to be willing to try something different.

Have you looked for a neuropsychiatrist ?

I have looked and have not found one in my area. You are right about the way the doctors have gone about this so far. They look at me and say, "you mean you had no previous history of panic/anxiety/ depression before this?!!" and send me along to the next person.

Last week a therapist who I had only spent less than a hour with told me I have PTSD. Then told me to do group therapy. Whatever the dx, I just need some relief. My anxiety is so bad it's like I am convinced I'm not fixable at this point and I'll drift through life not being a good mom to my girls or do anything with meaning.

I know I comment a lot about this on many different threads. I just find this is the only means of getting things off my mind and receive encouraging words and helpful advice that is needed so badly. I find myself acting as "normal" as possible and withholding alot of what I'm really feeling from my family because I know they are getting worn thin.

It's so hard for us to talk with others who don't understand. It's hard for them to believe what they can't see. That is why I enjoy this place so much.

Your family NEEDS to watch the YouTube series "You Look Great" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Xso...ature=youtu.be

If they want to have any input into your care, they need to become informed first.

The therapist is thinking you can think your way out of your anxiety. It is physiologically driven first, thought driven as a second event in response.

Please believe me. There is a way off this anxiety train. You just need to stick it out until you find the help you need.

What larger metro area of Alamama are you nearest ?

btw, I was born in Mobile but convinced my parents to move away by the time I was six weeks old.

Small world. I live across the bay from Mobile. That would be the largest city near me.

I believe every word you say. I just am stuck and don't know where to find the help I need. I feel like I'm doomed, everyday worse than the one before. I'm fighting this for my children. I would never want to leave them with the legacy that I took my own life. However, it's impossible not to think about that option. I'm just so tired of the pain and suffering.

I'm religious so I don't want God to think that I'm not grateful for the health I do have. I hope that he knows this is my sick brain and not me thinking these thoughts. I never in a million years would imagine I would be in this dark place. I was always so happy and outgoing. I got pleasure out of so much in life. That is all a distant memory now.

I will show my family the video, thank you for providing the link.

Thanks again for your support. It means more than you'll now.

yeah that's Never an option. Especially for something you will very likely overcome. If it ever gets to be an option, please let someone know right away. I really feel for you. I wish you weren't going through this. But there is a very good chance you will get pleasure out of so much in life again. You need to believe that.

I want you to know that you are not alone, I struggle with the same often. I don't share as much as I should with my family about what I am dealing with. I feel horrible for what my injury has done to my family. My kids haven't been the same and it kills me that I can't help them.