So, I started what I thought would be vestibular therapy last week. Was told by multiple doctors it was vertigo. turns out its not, but actually something with my brain and eyes.

Ok, so their plan of approach is to try to build my hear rate tolerance, something ive been trying to do for 10 months already. No dice so far, and no progress with them as of yet.

They dont want to me to come to therapy if I have a migraine. I told them I almost always do, so I need to push through it, they refuse.

Today they tried to treat my bad migraine and cluster headache as a tension headache. They were shocked to see the stretches and stress reductions on the neck did absolutely nothing. No surprise to me though.

Already they keep harping on the fact thats its been 10 months, and nothing is really improving. I get the feeling they feel as though this could be a waste of time. I was so happy to start this, thinking it would fix everything because of the hype it had built from the doctors. All it does is discourage me even more because you can see it and hear it in the therapists voices that they honestly dont know what to do at this point since its been so long.

I keep saying we need a more aggressive approach, they keep saying no its counter productive and will just make it worse, you need more rest. BS the resting phase is over, its been 10 months. Rest isnt and hasnt helped up to this point. Same with the crummy meds the doctors keep trying on me, all the same ones that havent worked in the past.

Just beyond frustrated at this point. I want the old me back, I want to be extremely active and fit, I want to be witty and sarcastic with a great sense of humor. Im sick of this boring, dull, pained person ive become. Im fighting the good fight, but theres only so much one can take. I refuse to accept the fact this is the new me. Im giving it my all, and I will not succumb to this.