Although I have experienced good days where I feel happier and have much more energy than usual, it is hard for me to experience emotions. When I say experience I mean both comprehend intellectually and feel physiologically.


Generally I don't have as much trouble experiencing joy, laughter and most positive feelings. However, romance and bittersweet butterfly in the stomach type moments don't always register with me.

It's very hard for me to connect with negative emotions, such as sadness and loss. I haven't experienced the lump in the throat sensation at all since my health issues began to develop. Just recently a former colleague of mine was killed in an awful accident that made headlines. I don't think I was able to experience any gut reaction to his death. So no tears or lump. Additionally, yesterday a long-time popular coworker of mine was fired. He was an all-around good guy that entertained the crew. I didn't experience any gut/physiological response to his firing either. Historically these were feelings I could experience in the past. I can clearly remember how I felt after 9/11, my father's death, etc., so I have experienced emotions like a normal person previously.

I find the lack of a gut response makes it much harder to recognize and appreciate the significant of many emotional events.