I got my first concussion back in the beginning of 2012 after getting jabbed in the temple. I experienced debilitating symptoms (constant dizziness, fogginess, inability to concentrate) for about a month, and minor symptoms (icepick headaches, migraine headaches, pain when thinking too hard) for about a year. It was the worst experience of my life, but I managed to heal, or at least heal mostly. I was never quite sure if I was completely the same afterwards, but I seemed to be close enough. I've had minor bumps to the head since then, and I will usually experience a resurgence of symptoms for a day or two afterwards, but that is it.

A little over a month ago, I got hit in the head hard, multiple times (long story). I felt fine for the first few days, but then I started to experience debilitating dizziness and, what's worse, difficulty reading. It's not that I can't make sense of the words. It's just that if I have to read anything longer than a paragraph, I find it difficult to concentrate, and I become extremely dizzy. The dizzy spells usually last for hours or even days afterward. At almost 7 weeks in, none of my symptoms seem to be subsiding. I had to take a medical leave of absence from my work, and I was hoping that I would be able to go back soon, but it's not looking likely. I lived a pretty hand-to-mouth existence before, so after being off work for this long, I am almost entirely out of money. I have no health insurance, and no one to turn to.

I don't know how long it will take me to heal, and I'm scared. I don't know if I will fully heal, and I'm terrified. The question that haunts me more than any other is this: even if I do fully recover this time, how long will it be before the next concussion? There is no way I could have prevented what happened to me this time. So how can I possibly prevent concussions in the future? I feel like I am doomed to keep reliving the worst experience of my life over and over again, except at greater length and with more symptoms. I don't want to watch my cognitive abilities and my personality diminish further and further each time, until what's left is not recognizable. I feel like I'm watching myself slowly die, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do.

I have no hope for the future - only fear. I don't see any way out of this. What is the answer? How on earth do I cope?