[RJam]

I have a question about relationships for everyone today.

I have been recovering for 28 months now and about 7 months ago I got into a relationship. Lately I seem to be getting myself into trouble by not paying attention when she is talking to me.

Now my problem is I have a headache to a varying degree all the time but it is always there. I also tend to have trouble staying focused. so last night I was feeding my reptiles and for me it takes all my attention to make sure I complete my task and that everybody gets everything they need. During this my gf was talking to me about the sexes of my turtles which, admittedly, I was tuning out because I'm trying to focus on what i'm doing. Mid way through all this I get an epiphany that its only 7pm and I can call back the student loan place that I have been forgetting to call for the last two months so I jump to my phone and make the call while I remember.

I am not sure how to resolve the lack of attention I tend to give to other people when they talk to me. It takes conscious effort to listen when someone is talking and if there is to much going on around me or I have a headache I will tune the person out. Whether someone is telling me something important, a joke or a story if I am doing something that requires my attention I am not listening. That means if I am making my lunch or being a passenger in the car unless I am having a particularly good day, i'm gonna tune everyone out. Last night it was my mothers birthday and I was largely absent for the celebration because its just way to much. 7 adults, a 1 month old newborn and three dogs all in one room is a bloody nightmare.

I understand tuning people out is a valid reason for someone to not be happy with me but I am trying my very best. After all I am tired after a full day of working and studying and I do not have the mental stamina to focus on two things at once. When I do that I start forgetting what I am doing and misplacing things