[icando]

15 years ago I was involved in a fight and was punched at the top of the head by a gangster , I was punched 3 times in a row. I did not loss consciousness and do not have any amnesia, but I immediately feel a pressure on the top of my head. After it I did not tell my parents and did not went to hospital, but I am very worried about whether my intelligence will be affected since I am always top students in my class (I am 15 years old at that time and am a middle school students), so I developed an OCD behavior (I have a little OCD behaviour before the trauma, but no way as severe) to always practice my memory or doing some mental exercise to check if my memory or intelligence has degraded or not. I regretted that since this OCD behavior is not good to my recovery, after a few weeks of that trauma, my headache changes to bilateral headache which resemble tension type headache, and I began to have anxiety symtom (feeling out of it, dispersonalize, strange and remote feeling towards familiar things, worry about my intelligence and memory, constantly check if my memory is worse or not, head burning feeling and sweating when my worry is intense), then I did MRI which shows negative. This symptom lasted for 3 years and eventually I realized my anxiety is working against me, so I force myself not to obsess with this problems, then the symptom gradually disappeared. During these periods I played some basketball, but did not suffer any head hit during playing it.

This is my only concussion I suffered so far. After symptoms got better, I regained my self and become the top student in my class again, and then I went to one of the best university in my country for undergraduate study and then got a master degree from Stanford University in engineering and work as an engineer.

However, I have never completely get rid of my OCD thinking. I would like to think something to extreme repetitively (either study or life) until feel some sort of mental exhaustion. 3 years ago (when I am 29 years old), my tension headache comes back, and I feel that when I am concentrating for long time, doing complexed thinking such as planning and organizing, there seems to be a tension and pressure in my head that make it hard to think. Also I experienced short time memory problem (especially when I am planning something, I often repetitively planning it and can not stop, and re-plan it again and again until I reached a good feeling that I can not explain , which intensify my tension headache) At that time I was doing a MBA study and working at the same time, due to the stress I quitted MBA . I began to browse online and began to read medical papers to search for my symptoms, I come across something called "CTE" that is related to football players. I did not have numerous head traumma(only 1 concussion from my memory), but I began to be obsessive with CTE and dementia and began to read CTE news every single day, and began to analyze my symptom most of the day and try to find out a conclusion. After a while I began to see Doctors, I was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD and given Zoloft as medication. After taking it for a few months, my symptom got much better. But I still have some problems occasionally of tension type headache, especially when I am doing computer work, typing, or doing mental work and worrying or obsessing. But the symptom seems much better when I am not obsessing with the symptoms.

I am always obsessed over my tramma 15 years ago, I always want to know how much my brain is damaged from that blow. I would like to get some advise from the people here about possible explainations of my symptoms and treatment.
Thanks

[Mark in Idaho]

icando,

It sure sounds like anxiety/OCD to me. You say you have always been intelligent. This adds to your problem. Intelligent thinkers have a propensity to OCD and anxiety because their brains tend to pay attention to far more details than the average person. There is also a need to constantly understand every detail around them.

CTE is not a risk for you. But, since you learned about it, it will likely stay in your mind as an obsession.

In my experience, your OCD and anxiety issues create a risk of depression that can be far more life changing than any miniscule risk of CTE. Here is an interesting article for you to consider.
http://science.howstuffworks.com/lif...al-illness.htm
You would be better off learning how to control and slow down your thought processes than spending time worried about CTE or concussion related memory issues.

You may want to consider the job responsibilities you take on. Project/program length can also be a concern. Shorter term tasks, projects and programs will give your mind a chance to let go more frequently. Or, simply learning to break up your projects into shorter projects with intermediate goals can help.

Longer projects allow the OCD brain to spend a lot of time with all the details of the uncompleted parts of the project. As you said (especially when I am planning something, I often repetitively planning it and can not stop, and re-plan it again and again until I reached a good feeling that I can not explain , which intensify my tension headache)

Also, do your preliminary planning on paper. There is something about writing down thoughts that makes it easier to put those thoughts on the shelf or in a file. It also causes one to slow the thought process to the speed of the hand writing. Try it. You'll see what I mean. Juggling planning in the mind leaves those juggling balls in the mind.

And, stop researching concussions and such. You will not find anything to help you. There are no treatments, only learning how to manage life and symptoms. But, you symptoms are OCD/anxiety.

[icando]

Hi Mark
Thanks very much for your detailed answer, really appreciate that !
icando

[Lara]

I am not a doctor of course, but reading your message a few times would make me wonder if you have ever talked with your therapist or counsellor about the possibility that you are dealing with post traumatic stress disorder.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - Brainline.org