Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome For traumatic brain injury (TBI) and post concussion syndrome (PCS).


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Old 07-15-2015, 08:50 AM #1
RidingRollerCoaster RidingRollerCoaster is offline
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Hi
I'm sorry to post a depressing post, but I am alone today and need to vent a little.

I got fired yesterday from a job that I invested a lot into both professionally and personally. I was the director of a farmer training program at a non-profit farm. I lived at the farm and was responsible for managing the program as well as the grounds. This is where I got hurt. Now I am losing my job and the place I called home for a few years.

I know it is just a job, and I still have much to be thankful for, but It still hurts so bad. Just feel like - I got badly injured doing this job - shouldn't I be given the chance to get better and try to return to work? The system really knows how to kick you when you are down. It just makes me feel worthless.

I'm trying to not let my emotions get the best of me and to move on from this, but I'm finding it hard I guess partly because of the injury. Any suggestions for how to get through this? I don't want to slip back into the heavy depression I was under for so long.

Thanks for you the kindness on this forum.
__________________
Injury: March 2014. Hit hard on top of head by heavy metal farm tool. LOC. MRIs and Cat Scans clear. PCS ever since. 33 year old female. Trying to stay positive!

Persisting Problems:
fatigue, dizziness, lightheadedness, vestibular balance and vision problems, vision static, tinnitus, hearing loss, slight sensitivity to noise, sometimes the insomnia comes back, sensitivity to stress, exercise intolerance, emotional problems - But I still have much to be thankful for.
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Old 07-15-2015, 09:43 AM #2
Bud Bud is offline
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RRC,

I don't find that to depressing...it is called real life.

I have a crop dusting business and we are down 50% this year due to drought in Ca and wondering if we will make it to next year...throw that into the mix with labor shortage and a weird year of equipment breaking down a lot and then my head. I understand your uncertainty.

I have found God to be a very big help and comfort during this time.

You will find your way through this! Somehow we always do.

Bud
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RidingRollerCoaster (07-17-2015)
Old 07-15-2015, 11:11 AM #3
Deuce Deuce is offline
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There's definitely never an easy way to deal with that kind of stuff.

As Bud said, I've found God to be one of my biggest supports through both the recovery process as well as everything else life throws at you on top of it.

However, I realize that's not everyone's thing, so if you don't buy into that then definitely just try to continue seeking support from everyone in your life that you know will provide it. Family members and close friends will provide much more support than we think sometimes, and can definitely help get through the rough patches.

Outside of that, do what it seems like you're already doing...focus on the positives. Realize what you do still have, instead of concerning yourself with what you've lost. I know it kind of sounds cliche, but sometimes you really do have to not look back and instead focus on moving forward. Yes it sucks to lose something you considered home, but also realize that losing a job is something that you CAN bounce back from because it's something you have some control over. Unlike recovery where patience seems to be the biggest factor, you are able to do something about looking for a new job. Just give yourself a little bit of time to bounce back.

And in the meantime, just try to do little things that you enjoy to keep your mind occupied until you get back on your feet. Try to take some time to have fun.

You're not the only person to have been in this situation. And if other people can get through it, so can you. Keep strong.
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RidingRollerCoaster (07-17-2015)
Old 07-15-2015, 05:32 PM #4
kdog22 kdog22 is offline
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Sorry to hear about your loss. One of the hardest things in life is accepting what is. We would like things to be different and we become depressed when they are not. Try letting go and like the old saying says: "Let go, Let God, " whatever you believe Him to be. Sometimes, when things like this happen they are actually opening up more amazing opportunities for us. I hope you will be getting some kind of compensation or are eligible for unemployment :-) If so, take that time and money and stay open for new possibilities.
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RidingRollerCoaster (07-17-2015)
Old 07-15-2015, 07:12 PM #5
DannyT DannyT is offline
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I'm very sorry to hear about this development. There's no way you could have prevented this from happening. I'm sure that you were doing all that you could to fulfill your duties in your current condition. It's unfortunate but this is the way a capitalist society runs. It is curious that even a non profit would conduct business this way. I think you deserve better for being so brave and returning to work and trying to fight through this horrible condition.

I would try to look on the bright side and use this as a way to further push you towards recovery. Perhaps a change of venue will do you some good. As they say "When one door closes, another door opens."

I know that I am struggling with being unable to go to school but look forward to the day we move out of the college town I've been stuck in for the past 4 months. I have the feeling that the more we put the injury in the past, including the life we were living at the moment of injury and the environment, the sooner we come to acceptance and allow ourselves a chance at happiness.
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Old 07-15-2015, 09:11 PM #6
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RRC,

Just a side note.

I hope you don't discount how difficult a time Ag jobs are in good condition, much less wounded as we are. Inhave worked around farms and crop dusting since a baby and NEVER has it been so difficult as this year. The heat, physical labor, noise of equipment and long hours are not conducive to healing quickly.

I am extremely fortunate to work with 4 family members and employees who all have humbled me with their extra care this year and gone way overboard to make sure I am ok.

Don't be to hard on yourself it is a difficult environment.

Not to discount any other work...I am just familiar with your world.

Bud
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Old 07-17-2015, 12:29 PM #7
RidingRollerCoaster RidingRollerCoaster is offline
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Thanks DannyT.
Unfortunately non-profits are just like businesses - they have to make money. They just are allowed to put it back into the work they do rather than disburse it to shareholders.

Anyways, it made me feel really good when you said "I think you deserve better for being so brave and returning to work and trying to fight through this horrible condition". I appreciate that! It's funny, cuz I think I would be more ok with it if they had just said something like that to me. Oh well. I am feeling better about it because I realize that I will find something better and that I do not want to be a part of their workaholic culture anymore anyways
__________________
Injury: March 2014. Hit hard on top of head by heavy metal farm tool. LOC. MRIs and Cat Scans clear. PCS ever since. 33 year old female. Trying to stay positive!

Persisting Problems:
fatigue, dizziness, lightheadedness, vestibular balance and vision problems, vision static, tinnitus, hearing loss, slight sensitivity to noise, sometimes the insomnia comes back, sensitivity to stress, exercise intolerance, emotional problems - But I still have much to be thankful for.
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Old 07-17-2015, 12:31 PM #8
RidingRollerCoaster RidingRollerCoaster is offline
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Thanks Bud, you are right. I would have felt better about it if they would have just recognized how difficult this has been for me and that I tried to work through very horrible physical issues. But I should not expect that from an employer.

Thanks for your support.
__________________
Injury: March 2014. Hit hard on top of head by heavy metal farm tool. LOC. MRIs and Cat Scans clear. PCS ever since. 33 year old female. Trying to stay positive!

Persisting Problems:
fatigue, dizziness, lightheadedness, vestibular balance and vision problems, vision static, tinnitus, hearing loss, slight sensitivity to noise, sometimes the insomnia comes back, sensitivity to stress, exercise intolerance, emotional problems - But I still have much to be thankful for.
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Old 07-18-2015, 12:00 PM #9
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Gotta stick together!

Bud
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Old 07-18-2015, 12:03 PM #10
DannyT DannyT is offline
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I'm glad you're feeling better and that I offered some words to help you

You got my back, I've got yours. Hang in there.

And yea, you don't need that type of environment right now. Focus on getting in the most suitable environment for recovery possible for the time being. It really is important to avoid and let go of the stress and anxiety of modern living.
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