Hi All

I'd like to share my recent concussion experience and to say thank you to this forum for the invaluable help it provided when I needed it most. I'd love to think that even 1 person might find this post and gain some comfort that they are not the only ones going through what they're going through. I'm sorry if my post is long but I want to explain my story properly.

A few months ago I suffered a pretty heavy bang to the back of my head in an accident. I remember the event clearly and other than a cut to my head and impending bruising I thought nothing of it. As the bleeding stopped fairly quickly I didn't go to a doctor/hospital and thought I'd be up and about that same day. But what became clear over the following days was that although the external injury wasn't severe, I still didn't quite feel right. As I presented pretty much none of the classic symptoms of serious concussion (bleeding from ears, inability to stay awake etc etc) I didn't feel the need to go to hospital and thought I'd just get over it.

However what followed was, in hindsight, anxiety. Now I like everyone have felt anxious at times in my life - impending exam, near miss car accident etc. But what I didn't realise was that anxiety is not the same as feeling anxious. Feeling anxious relates to a specific event/situation so it's easy to understand and passes once the event finishes. Anxiety was a deep, dull feeling of dread and I couldn't put my finger on what I was worried about or why. But the feeling simply wouldn't go away.

Before the concussion I was a very confident, strong, outgoing person. Family, friends, colleagues always relied on me and I was always well able to do all that was required of me to support those around me. That made my situation more difficult as I could see all around me were worried that I wasn't quite right. I felt I couldn't share with anyone how I was feeling as they needed me to be strong and be "right" again as soon as possible. So I got on with life. Big mistake number 1 was going back to work too early in an attempt to "show" everyone I was ok. This resulted in my first every panic attack which was an incredibly scary experience. I felt I couldn't breathe and was about to faint until I literally ran out of the building. I then knew things weren't quite right so went to A&E to be checked out. After a full set of scans, blood tests etc they told me everything was perfect and the reason I wasn't feeling right was probably because I was coming down with a flu or something. Whilst I knew this couldn't be the cause of how I was feeling, I wasn't feeling mentaly strong enough to challenge it so I went home at least feeling more comfortable that I wasn't bleeding into my brain etc.

But then a week later I still wasn't feeling right and didn't know when to turn. I am not a fan of self-diagnosis online but felt I had little other choice. I started googling my symptoms and eventually found this forum. I cannot explain my relief at finding other people suffering the same things as me. Not having to vaguely describe "not feeling myself" was great as people were describing it exactly for me. I took tremendous comfort from the advice and support and at last I took my concussion more seriously - this was a real injury and not just me being lame. The one thing that did scare me though was the uncertainty about when, if ever I would actually feel "myself" ever again. What if I never again became the strong confident person I was before and those around me needed me to be again?

The good news is I got lucky. About 3-4 weeks after the initial accident I was about 95-98% "me" again. The anxiety passed, the confidence returned and before too long I felt bulletproof once more. But with hindsight, I am a much stronger and more understanding person because of the experience. I don't think anyone fully understands brain injury unless they or a very close relative has suffered from it. Anxiety isn't just like feeling anxious about something. Depression isn't just feeling sad. And panic attacks can happen to people who don't normally panic. And I guess no 2 brain injuries ever have the same symptoms, recovery times etc.

Anyway, that's my story. I know from the forum that I am one of the very lucky ones to recover completely. I feel for those who haven't yet and hope that one day you do. I am a far more compassionate and understanding person because of my experience. Thanks to all who share and provide support on these pages as it really does make a difference.

It sounds like you fit into the 85% who recover spontaneously during the first 6 weeks.

Your experience reinforces the need to tell medical providers about any impacts to the head. Many still do not know how to connect the dots between an impact to the head and anxiety and other symptoms.