[DejaVu]

A Warm Hello to All,

I have just realized I should probably write my own intro. here in this sub-forum.

I am still recovering from a concussion and whiplash from a random assault in a park, just over two years ago now. I was attacked from behind while seated on a park bench, visiting with a family member.

The assailant had grabbed me by the hair, very tightly and close to the scalp. My head was repeatedly shaken back and forth (shearing) with great force while I also suffered blows to the head. The person was behind me and with my back against back on the bench, there was nothing I could do.

The person was shouting paranoid anti-government rants while attacking me. When let go, I was thrown forward and had ended up on the ground in front of the bench.

The assailant took off on foot, headed into a busy market place in the city.
A call was made to the police by a witness. I had then gotten up and had pursued the assailant for two blocks, as I did not want the person to get lost in the crowd and get away. I had summoned two officers on the street and they took over the pursuit. They were both taken down onto the cement sidewalk by the assailant. Additional officers showed up and the person was subdued and arrested.

I was shocked I had done this.
I then attended a movie as that was the plan prior to the assault.
I had awakened the next morning in agony and confused, and was taken to the ER.

I have had to stay on an anti-epileptic medication to help with headaches and with mood changes. I now have a tendency toward mood swings and irritability which are best helped with this medication, thus far. I feel "tortured" by my brain's sensitivities now, when not staying on this med.
(Depakote)

I had lost short-term memory for several months and had also lost impulse control. These were drastic changes in my personality and scary. I am glad I can take the med and glad it helps.

I had thought I'd be much more recovered by now.

This is not my first concussion, which may be a factor (for me).

I have various specialists for other medical issues. All of them took a "wait and see" approach re: concussion and PCS.
They have diagnosed both PCS and PTSD.

My family/friends all tell me I am not the same since the assault and injuries.
I agree with them, as I am usually in pain (neck/head in addition to other chronic pain) and am often isolating in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed by stimuli. I have never been impulsive before the concussion. Impulsivity is fading, thankfully. I'd had a very calm demeanor before the assault. I now can get very irritable and angry very quickly. The personality changes are drastic and quite unsettling. Depakote helps to regulate these changes. I have had to stay on the Depakote since.

Thanks for being here and for sharing so much of yourselves here!

To Our Healing,
DejaVu

[MicroMan]

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that something like this happened to you. The randomness and violence of that attack is disconcerting.

I empathise with your predicament. Having also been a laid-back person before my concussion, I too am prone to rapid mood swings associated with verbal outbursts. These happen all too often, and there's a lot of guilt that ensues afterwards. In addition, I too also struggle with impulsivity. And lastly, I also get the slow healing perspective... improvements are few and require significant hindsight to really determine if any improvement has occurred. When I do this, I can see some changes and try and focus and tell myself that they will continue to occur, and that things will get better.

I sincerely hope things improve for you Deja... best wishes!

[DejaVu]

Hi Microman,

Thanks for your response.

The assault was so very random. There were no exchanged words or "looks" toward one another nor any other type of provocation. I never saw the person come up behind me. I was having a relaxing conversation at the park.

Yes, there is lots of guilt if/when I act in ways which are not in alignment with my persona prior to the injuries. I'd really be up the creek if I was not helped by Depakote and/or could not tolerate this med. I've tried to taper off a few times and it does not go well. I am still too moody and too irritable without medication. To suddenly become ultra- impulsive is a trip!

Thanks for reminding me there has likely been changes, even slow ones, if I stop and think about it. There have been changes. I'd just expected a more rapid recovery. Remember when we'd get a concussion playing sports as children and everything seemed fine in 48-72 hours?

Thanks again for writing. Deeply appreciated.

To Our Healing,
DejaVu