Let me make a suggestion. If the emotional side of the brain is so stimulated to cause depression wouldn't an activity that stimulates other parts of the brain sort of even things out?

Here's what I did when I was at a very pivotal moment in my life.

I took a math class. Sounds crazy but I stopped crying. So I took another, then another. It really did help. Got me through quite a few years of trouble. I could handle things better.

I think what it did was busied me to get to class. But you can take one on line now. Sit through class. Then took time to do my homework, usually a couple of hours. I started to think differently about things in my life. :hug:

It is. And it sucks, and it's completely unfair what has happened to you. But finding a way through your current issues will help move you back closer to the person you were... I think all of us have gone, are going, and/or are struggling with the same things... I suspect for some of the people that have endured this for years and years, they likely can see the phase that you (and me) that you're in and know that there's a way through it.

Get some professional help and use the community when you need to... we're all here for you.

Stages of grief - it applies to illness & injuries as well as death of loved ones.
some say 5 stages and some say 7 stages...

[The five stages do not necessarily occur in any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance ]
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-st...oss-and-grief/

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-...-of-grief.html

I've been dealing with my problems for 2.5 years now. I thought my relative youth (now 25) would aid me in my recovery. Now it appears that these are long term issues I'll never fully recover from. I'm pretty miserable, especially on bad days when I can't do much of anything, but I try my best to savor the good days.

Try to make the good days as good as possible. If you have any other health issues that might be compounding your issues try to alleviate them.

First I tried to fix my balance as best as I could. I have a visual-vestibular mismatch and poor balance only makes that disorder worse. I worked with a vestibular therapist on exercises that improved my balance and now I can at least tolerate bus rides and supermarkets most days.


Lately, I've noticed that chronic sinus problems are making my issues worse. I've seen an ENT and she thinks I have a slight deviated septum and chronic rhinitis. I will see an allergist in the coming months. My hope is that they might be able to treat this sinus problem and that it will makes things at least a little easier for me:)


2.5 years on I'm still trying to improve my sleep. I feel like if this starts to get better I might notice gains. Just keep trying your best.

Hey there,
I've been meaning to get back on and post for the last 6 months and for whatever reason have avoided it. I felt many of the things you felt during my recovery. If ending my life was as easy as flipping a switch and if I could do it without causing pain to my loved ones, I would have been sorely, sorely tempted.

I thought that drugs also weren't for me, but I ended up seeing a therapist who referred me to a psychiatrist who gently coaxed me into trying Lexapro. I went on a small dose and i think it helped. Very notably, I got my appetite back in about a week.

What really helped was just telling myself, "you don't have to like this, you just need to endure." And telling myself, even though I couldn't believe it at the time, that someday I would be glad that I'd endured. The counseling I got from the therapist and the psychiatrist on depression, anxiety, and TBI's was invaluable as was what felt like an intimate friendship (ok, and a bit of a crush) with each of them.

Now, I'm back to work full time, traveling frequently for work and kicking butt in my job. My social live is thriving again, and, while PCS might have caused my relationship that I had at the time to end, the perspective I've gained with time is that there are better fish out there for me. And, I'm kiteboarding again! Jumping, surfing, crashing into the waves, giving myself minor whiplash and, thank goodness, my brain is holding up just fine.

I have my life back, and I'm so grateful to my friends (including the ones on this site) and my health care professionals and therapists (none of whom could offer the silver bullet I sought, but all of whom helped in their own way and encouraged me to hang on while TIME, the great healer, did its work).

IT WAS WORTH ENDURING. THERE IS JOY ON THE OTHER SIDE, BUT IT'S JUST HIDDEN FROM YOUR VIEW FOR NOW. BELIEVE IT'S THERE, ASK FOR HELP, DABBLE WITH SOME SSRI'S, IMMERSE YOURSELF IN GOOD THERAPY + A MINDFULNESS PRACTICE LIKE MEDITATION, BE KIND TO YOURSELF, AND YOU'LL GET THERE BEFORE LONG.

You won't be exactly the same as you were before, as my psychiatrist/neurologist told me when I sobbed, "Will I ever be the same?" He said that I'd find ways to compensate (that's what the brain does), would barely notice the differences, and I'd probably end up with a kinder heart towards myself and others.

Keep hanging on. It will be worth it.

I'm so happy for you. You really deserve this. Thanks for sharing.

It makes me really happy to know that former brain injuries sufferers are alive and well and willing to share their experiences.

Hi qtipsq,

Very sorry to hear about your struggle, I'm trying not to get on this forum much anymore but I felt obliged to ask whether you've tried marijuana during these 18 months? While it's not good for you overall, since it's a stressor on the brain, the only thing that helps me be able to enjoy life again sometimes is smoking marijuana. And it works even at those times where you feel like nothing could help you. If you're feeling so down and out, you might wanna look into getting your hands on some. The best option would be vaping.

Again, this is only a suggestion as a possible partial remedy for all the emotional distress you're in. The fact that it's a stressor on the brain should be considered; I'm not sure how big of a strain it really is on the brain when the pros and cons of it are weighed, though.

I was just thinking that today. I am a totally changed person. Indeed, it is as though I have a new, warped and twisted brain that can only remember that past through a nostalgic lense that causes more grief. If not for my precious little girls and wife (who's about at the end of her rope), the existential question really is--if I am a completely changed and different person, why indeed do I need to be here at all? Esp. now that I feel like one of the things in life that meant the most to me might be coming to an end--my job. And then how the hell do I support my family.

I am very sorry to see you're struggling with what we've all had/have/or will go through. It's a constant battle for myself as well, and sorry, I'm not much help. I just thank my lucky stars my two beautiful children keep me grounded. They are a miracle, just something else I proved to the medical community [emoji64]🏼 What everybody here is saying is SO TRUE @qtipsq! You think of your mom? Well that's what you NEED to keep thinking of! Your Mom and all the family and friends you would leave behind. Because THEY are the ones who would suffer. Not you. The selfish act of suicide only puts you to permanent sleep while everybody here is left to hurt for a very long time. THIS is what I think of when I want to just end it all. I don't suffer. My kids and family do. Not fair. I just have to keep working with the doctors to end my pain. Sure! Days like today? A bullet would've been faster & quicker [emoji16][emoji15] But reality check. I hear you buddy. Honestly I do. I simply wanted to cry when doc said lets do more injections in a series...

Just lets talk to our families & friends together @qtipsq We can do this!!


@donnie darko... (Not trying to go OT) Your marijuana proposal... I had just moved to a different state. I am FINALLY in the process of getting pain meds. I went months without and let me just say, Tylenol does NOT control. [emoji23] Do you go to your doctor and get a rx for this or how does this work?

Kthx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I would guess that many folks across the NT forums, at some point in their illnesses, have felt the same way you are feeling now. I certainly did. Adapting to this new life, so different than the life we had, is not easy but a necessity for surviving.

When I lost my job and was really struggling with the chronic pain and cognitive changes, and feeling very lost, my physician brother in law sent me this book. It was my inspiration( aka "kick in the pants" ) for adapting to my altered life.

http://www.amazon.com/Whole-New-Life...whole+new+life

We all hear you...many of us get it...and have found our own path to adapting to a new life. It is not easy, but doable and honestly...I found many joys in my new life that I may not have found otherwise. I know it may sound trite but, it is true. Your Mother is a wonderful starting point. If losing you would cause her agony, focus on having the best relationship with her that you can, be the best son you can be. Love/good relationships with family and friends could be the cornerstone of this new life you are building.

Wishing you success as you deal with your "new life". I found when I finally accepted my life was never going back to what it was, my stress diminished and it was easier to push ahead. Pick small goals, day by day.

Keep us posted,
Diandra