Mark, those words have been really, really relieving to hear and I appreciate your comments on my thread of desperation, haha. I don't think anyone will ever know how this feels unless they go through it themselves, thank you So much. I feel a lot better reading this.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear you had difficulty starting up the exercise again. I will definitely try to keep track of my triggers and feelings afterwards. It's so hard to remember to do this, let alone how I was feeling at the time. I do not wish this on my worst enemy! But thank you, I hope you continue to heal quickly.

Hang in there Lily. I actually overdid the exercise in my early months (I actually am/was a competitive cyclist and didn't want the season to slip away, one of the many errors I've made in my recovery). I'm exercising at a much lower threshold now and things seem to be improving. This leaves me more energy for my family. I'm at 7 months now, and have gotten over one big hurdle, which is light sensitivity--but still have dizziness and can have terrible brain fatigue. I also have had real bouts with anxiety, and I find that PCS and anxiety are a double edge sword. One causes the other, and vice-versa. They feed off each other. I'm working on calming my anxiety. Although it has been hard, I'm also working on accepting the "new me." I think I will be a better person having gone through this. I know I will. Like Bud said--I hope that you pass through this episode very fast. Lots of great people on this forum to give you hope and support.

When it comes to exercise, the increase in heart rate can trigger symptoms. My physiotherapist monitored my heart rate, during an exercise session, to find my tolerance threshold.

The key - and, as a former big time jock, I know it's hard - is not to push yourself too hard.

Hi Lily- I was like you and went back to work full-time immediately after my accident. The concussion symptoms didn't start showing up for about 10 days to two weeks after. The accident was the other person's fault (ran a red light and hit me), but my own insurance was giving me problems immediately, too, so I hired a lawyer right away. So, luckily I started P/T for my whiplash injury with in a few days, but the concussion was never really taken seriously til months later, when things were still not where everyone thought they "should" be. Problem is, there's not a lot of long-term, detailed research on head injuries to really even say what's normal and what's not, and how they should be treated. It's a sad state of affairs. I will always wonder, too, if I'd have done better if I had taken a break. Problem is, I already had a surgery scheduled for a month after, and that was going to take up all of my leave time. I simply didn't have the possibility of taking time off.

As for the time thing, I still have trouble with this over a year out. Things that happened before the accident seem like they happened more recently than things that happened afterwards. I had to get a smart phone so that I could set myself alarms for meds, alarms when it's time to get my son from school, reminders for everything. It's actually helpful because it was taking too much of my brain power to try to remember all of those things...and I just couldn't anyway. I used to have a mind like a steel trap, so that was rather hard to get used to. One thing that also helped me a lot is to automate everything I possibly could, especially recurring things like paying bills.

Another thing I had trouble with was trying to hide the problems I was having. I thought I was doing really well, but then I went back and looked at work I did right after the accident, and found a whole lot of errors. A couple of friends filled out questionnaires before my neuropsych eval (which was about 10 months after the accident) and I was pretty surprised at how they described me, how I'd changed. Now, when I see a look on someone's face that says "What's her deal?" when I'm trying to talk to someone about scheduling something or any kind of planning or decision-making, I just tell the person I've had a head injury. 95% of the time, the person's attitude is great and it actually takes the stress off of me a bit. Another thing that was super hard for me: asking people for help. I was trying to power through, too. One bright spot in this whole ordeal is that some of my friendships have gotten much deeper, partly because I allowed myself to ask for help. Also, knowing that things could have ended up much, much worse has put a lot into perspective for me. I have gotten over quite a few fears I used to have, and done some silly fun things I never would have done before, simply because I know how close I came to not ever having the chance to do them at all. That was another bright spot.

Also, you mentioned your thyroid. I'm hypothyroid, and I had to have my dosages adjusted a couple of months after the accident. Everything went suddenly haywire in the matter of a week or two. I recently started seeing an osteopath to try to look into a more holistic approach to healing, and she ran a giant endocrine/hormone panel. Pretty much everything was in the tank. The other doctor I was seeing after the accident (the one who didn't initially take the concussion seriously) now says I might have neuroendocrine problems due to the TBI, and he's referred me to an endocrinologist. All of those chemicals are related, and the damage done to the brain in a TBI can have very real affects on the rest of the body. It's pretty amazing, but just this summer, researchers discovered that the brain is actually connected to the lymphatic system of the rest of the body. So, not only can't we trust that doctors in podunk towns will have the most up-to-date information, but there's plenty of stuff that is just plain unknown, period.

I would echo MarkInIdaho (I think that's who said it) and suggest you make a claim on the driver's insurance. It just might reimburse you for work you miss due to doctor's appointments, physical therapy, medications, etc., too (my policy, and the policy of the person who hit me did). I know my own policy had a set amount per person in the vehicle, not just one amount split over everyone. The driver paid the premiums for the benefit, and you need to take care of yourself. Just keep a journal of how long appointments are, make copies of bills and receipts that you pay out of pocket in case you can be reimbursed. Especially if you have to take some time off of work, every little bit helps, believe me.

Were you injured in any other way, such as whiplash?

Thank you Alma Vera, I'm so sorry to hear you experienced such symptoms! You're on point about the concern about missing work. I keep seeing posts on here about taking it easy and not putting yourself in stressful situations, which I'm totally trying to avoid, but I can't just outright quit my job = I will be homeless in a matter of weeks! Who will pay my rent, student loans, groceries, everything?! Unfortunately I don't have a good support system for this, nor would I feel comfortable letting someone in my life right now support me.

When was your accident? How are you feeling now?
The thyroid thing was something I was praying that this was, but turns out after 3 panels of random thyroid tests within the past 6-8 weeks - everything is normal for the time being.

I hate this numbness, this anxiety, the feeling like I can't breathe or act normally. I totally understand you when you said you were trying to hide your problems. I'm afraid if I tell my bosses that I have a head injury, they'll deem me incompetent or incapable of safely doing my job. This is the issue I've been dealing with lately - I have an opportunity to leave my current job and go to a much less stressful one, slightly better hours, but the opportunities of a lifetime will be lost...which is why I keep trying to push through.. Like you said, I'm wondering if this is doing more damage than anything else.

I wish there was a scan to pinpoint what was wrong! I keep seeing ads for this place in Texas and I'm so tempted to fly out there from NYC just to get some help (although it's probably BS).

Thanks for bringing up the alarms, I know it's so simple and it seems like I should've already done that - but in all honesty, I haven't. I'm trying to stay as "normal" as possible.. with abnormal deficits. I will absolutely use the alarms for everything.

I really hope for you that you've recovered!
Thank you.

P.S. thanks for the insurance info. I just started the paperwork earlier today, trying to scrounge up receipts! I took a week off work but luckily they allowed me to use my sick time.

Also, no whiplash. I have an appointment with an ENT Surgeon in December... unfortunately that was the soonest, to see if this is something with my ears as I've had a history with ear problems...wishful thinking? I think so. I doubt ear problems would lead to the memory time lapses though!

Thanks for sharing with us.

lilyNYC,

What is the Texas diagnostics you mentioned ?

Try to keep in mind that with your current struggles, your job opportunity of a lifetime may have been for a past life. With the intolerance to stress that many of us have for a lifetime, the job of a lifetime is the one with low stress levels. I found that my job of a lifetime was one where I went home each day with the job completed, nothing hanging over my head for tomorrow. Then I just had the next day's job to look forward to. Short project jobs are not real common but they are worth the effort to find them.

Hey Mark,
I'll try to find it. I know I've book marked it somewhere. Perhaps you're right, I just started this job at an amazing hospital that will get me into any other hospital in the country, just finished orientation and I'm finally functioning on my own - but the night shift and stress of the job is really weighing down on me.
I will post it to you as soon as I find the name.
Thanks again Mark,
-L

LillyNYC, please read the post I just submitted. I hope you find good information and encouragement. I just want to reiterate to no schedule too much for yourself or put yourself in a position where you have too many demands. Surround yourself with people who are support. Hang in there. It has actually made me a better person.
Grace F