Hi all! I hit my head in April, it was a mild concussion. I felt better after about 10 days and drank very heavily. I was living in a new city by myself so it was the only social activity I thought I could seek out. I then felt very lost, foggy, and like my brain was torn apart for maybe 3 weeks while slowly recovering. After that I thought I had almost fully recovered and I drank another beer and felt miserable again. I repeated this cycle twice more. Each time after consuming alcohol (not bingeing, I drank maybe 1-2 beers) I felt like a 1000 times worse than I did when I initially hit my head. I felt better again after about 4 weeks after this last drink of booze, and again drank maybe half a corona in mid July 2015. That was the biggest mistake of my young life.

I constantly feel like I can't construct a single thought. It feels impossible to connect with anyone. I can't look anyone in the eye, not even close friends and family because I can't mentally picture my own mind. It's absolute hell. Its been about 6 months now since the initial hit, and almost two months since the last time I drank. My symptoms haven't gotten better. I know to a large extent I brought this upon myself, but really need some hope. It's so overwhelming everyday to just think about the recovery process, and how far away I feel from the person I used to be.

I've been to two neurologists. My MRI and EKG are all normal. Both think I am fine or will be fine with time. But, this just doesn't seem to get better. I am taking unpaid leave from work and staying at my mom's house. I thought I would stay here till I felt clearer, but its been a whole month with no improvement. To be more clear, the only big problem is that the moment I try to structure a thought or think to myself I begin feeling an impossible pressure in my head that doesn't allow me to access my thinking. Maybe this is depersonalization, I'm not sure.