Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome For traumatic brain injury (TBI) and post concussion syndrome (PCS).


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Old 11-07-2015, 10:52 PM #1
hermanator90 hermanator90 is offline
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Default Anxious question - apologies in advance

I want to apologize in advance because I realize this question is driven a large part by my anxiety. I have been able to handle it well for the last week or so, but it all came crashing today when I went for a long drive alone.

Question - My latest recovery was very short lived, less than 1 day on October 1st, when overstimulation caused a total relapse and return of full blown symptoms. I constantly feel an insane pressure headache, complete inability to think clearly and a blockage in emotional awareness, and the symptoms have not gotten better at all in a month. I am just afraid of the permanence of this due to the complete lack of change in a month.

Is there any reason for me to fear this might be permanent? Has anyone had a long stretch of plateauing followed by improvement? I realize time is the big healer but each day that I feel no improvement just scares me more and more. I know self-diagnosis is stupid and bad, but I read an article about the energy cascade following a concussion, which mentioned something about overstimulation and setbacks possibly leading to programmed cell death.

Thanks, and sorry again I realize this is an anxiety fueled question but any kind of answers will help cuz I'm freaking out.
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Old 11-08-2015, 12:06 AM #2
Mark in Idaho Mark in Idaho is offline
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"but I read an article about the energy cascade following a concussion, which mentioned something about overstimulation and setbacks possibly leading to programmed cell death." It sure does not sound like you are subjecting yourself to over-stimulation.

If you continue to keep looking for information, especially by googling, you will prevent any improvement. You will likely be able to find many articles that sound dreadful. I've read many of them, too. But, as I read them, I find that they have very limited application because the study parameters were very narrow so as to look at a limited aspect of concussions. There is an old saying, "The devil is in the details."

Many on NT have taken an extended time away from NT and researching on the internet to just try to do something. It does not need to be a career effort. It helps to just do something to stay busy. There are many non-overstimulating ways to stay busy.

btw, 1 day was not a recovery. It was just a good day when a number of factors came together at the same time. You sound like you are beating yourself up for the over-stimulation. Many of us can tell you there is no rhyme or reason to most relapses. It is the roller coaster of PCS.

What are you doing to reduce your headache pain ? Headaches alone can be a big cause of other symptoms.
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Old 11-08-2015, 10:46 AM #3
hermanator90 hermanator90 is offline
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Mark, thanks. I know it's stupid. I need to find things to stay busy. I plan on getting off NT but the sliver of hope that I continue to move forward on keeps getting rocked by anxiety. Coupld you please answer - Would any dead cells have shown up on the MRI? My MRI was clear. I just fear that the number of setbacks (9) I have had from the one injury before fully recovering in the last 7 months might be too many. It's never taken this long without any improvement.

The pressure headaches build over the course of the day. They get stronger if I try to access the thinking that I feel is blocked off. I have been taking magnesium oxide and riboflavin for the headaches (taking all the other supplements you listed as well).

You're right, 1 day was not a recovery but it was the first day in about a month that felt like the fog was lifted. And I remember the exact moment while talking that I felt an overload and exhaustion due to thinking, and literally felt like I got knocked in the head again because all of the fog, exhaustion, and blockage began to return.

If could just think like my old self, without even being able to communicate, I would be OK. Its the complete blockage from my self and my personality that makes moving forward so difficult. I have an appt. at Dr. Cantu's Concussion Center at Emerson Hospital on November 23rd. Will hope to know more by then.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho View Post
"but I read an article about the energy cascade following a concussion, which mentioned something about overstimulation and setbacks possibly leading to programmed cell death." It sure does not sound like you are subjecting yourself to over-stimulation.

If you continue to keep looking for information, especially by googling, you will prevent any improvement. You will likely be able to find many articles that sound dreadful. I've read many of them, too. But, as I read them, I find that they have very limited application because the study parameters were very narrow so as to look at a limited aspect of concussions. There is an old saying, "The devil is in the details."

Many on NT have taken an extended time away from NT and researching on the internet to just try to do something. It does not need to be a career effort. It helps to just do something to stay busy. There are many non-overstimulating ways to stay busy.

btw, 1 day was not a recovery. It was just a good day when a number of factors came together at the same time. You sound like you are beating yourself up for the over-stimulation. Many of us can tell you there is no rhyme or reason to most relapses. It is the roller coaster of PCS.

What are you doing to reduce your headache pain ? Headaches alone can be a big cause of other symptoms.

Last edited by hermanator90; 11-08-2015 at 11:03 AM.
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Old 11-08-2015, 04:45 PM #4
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Herm,

Hang in there.

Anxiety has been fierce for me but changes are stirring. You have to keep,telling yourself what is true. Anxiety is a clever liar and full of doubt.

Keep working and don't give in, it will start to die down.

Bud
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Old 11-08-2015, 05:26 PM #5
hermanator90 hermanator90 is offline
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Thanks Bud. Needed to hear that. Appreciate it so much.

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Herm,

Hang in there.

Anxiety has been fierce for me but changes are stirring. You have to keep,telling yourself what is true. Anxiety is a clever liar and full of doubt.

Keep working and don't give in, it will start to die down.

Bud
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Old 11-08-2015, 05:55 PM #6
Mark in Idaho Mark in Idaho is offline
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No, dead cells will not show up on an MRI. A normal MRI can only see things about 2 or 3 millimeters in size. BUT, you are trying to define something that is not definable.

So, have you had prior concussions that you have recovered from ?

You need to let go of your old self. You are what you are today. If the old self returns, be glad. If it does not, holding on to the past will only cause anxiety. "They get stronger if I try to access the thinking that I feel is blocked off." If you can't access this old thinking function, please, let it go. It is not the end of the world. Believe me, I have lost prior thinking skills many times over my concussion life. But, I moved on and made a life with what I had. Yes, it is frustrating. It takes a period of mourning then we need to move forward.

If I try to force my mind to think as it used to be able to think, I only make things worse. I often will end up crashing cognitively. So, I have learned to pick my battles. I use aids, notes, calculators, and anything that helps fill in the thinking gaps.

Rehab experts say that letting go of the past functions and making the most of the usable functions allows the brain to become productive and develop new ways to get things done. Demanding that your brain think like it used to is like demanding a tired 3 year old child to behave and pay attention. The more you demand and push, the more screaming and misbehavior you will get from the 3 year old and your brain.

I've been reading about celebrities lately. Many had dreams and became highly accomplished in a discipline and were headed for greatness then they suffered a trauma/injury or other unchangeable event that caused them to look in a totally new direction. They used the same drive to become successful in the new direction.

Counting your setbacks suggests you are too tightly focusing on short term changes. As I said before, I don't think you have suffered setbacks as much as I think you have had some periods of good days. It is the roller coaster of mTBI/PCS. You have some good days then return to your more symptomatic condition then have some good day. The good days are not recovery.

When you can find the pattern of thoughts and behaviors that lead to those good days, you will be able to start building longer periods of good days. As the balance of good vs bad days starts to improve because you have adjusted thoughts, activities and behaviors, you will start to be able to have longer periods of good days. Good days feed off good days. But, just because one has a good day or even 5 good days does not mean one can return to pre-injury activities. That is a common mistake that feeds the roller coaster monster.

So, try to learn to relax and find some simple activities to keep your mind busy. It may take a month of staying busy before you start to see improvement. The brain can be very slow to recover.

My best to you.
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Old 11-08-2015, 07:45 PM #7
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@hermanator:... that magnesium oxide you are using is not doing anything for your brain. It is not absorbed much at all, and is excreted in the stool. It is basically only used today as a laxative, one of which is Phillips Tablets.

If you want magnesium to get into your brain, you will have to switch to a chelated form like glycinate, citrate, malate, or taurate. Magnesium chloride in delayed release also, is called SlowMag.

2 SlowMags a day work well for most people.

This is my magnesium thread:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread1138.html
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Old 11-15-2015, 12:07 AM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hermanator90 View Post
I want to apologize in advance because I realize this question is driven a large part by my anxiety. I have been able to handle it well for the last week or so, but it all came crashing today when I went for a long drive alone.

Question - My latest recovery was very short lived, less than 1 day on October 1st, when overstimulation caused a total relapse and return of full blown symptoms. I constantly feel an insane pressure headache, complete inability to think clearly and a blockage in emotional awareness, and the symptoms have not gotten better at all in a month. I am just afraid of the permanence of this due to the complete lack of change in a month.

Is there any reason for me to fear this might be permanent? Has anyone had a long stretch of plateauing followed by improvement? I realize time is the big healer but each day that I feel no improvement just scares me more and more. I know self-diagnosis is stupid and bad, but I read an article about the energy cascade following a concussion, which mentioned something about overstimulation and setbacks possibly leading to programmed cell death.

Thanks, and sorry again I realize this is an anxiety fueled question but any kind of answers will help cuz I'm freaking out.
The 1 day recovery, while short lived, and while it's must be so scary to go back to the symptoms after such a good day, might be a sign that you're healing and moving towards getting better overall? This has not happened to me, and I'm jealous of you but perhaps it's just a sign of good things to come. I know the hardest part of this is staying positive and mindful, but, who knows? Hoping it's a good thing for you and indicative of good things to come! When I'm frustrated, I try to think of where I was initially after the trauma, maybe that might help?
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Old 11-15-2015, 01:39 PM #9
hermanator90 hermanator90 is offline
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Thanks Lily.

The worst part is I just didn't realize how vulnerable I was to overstimulation. The exhaustion hit me like another concussion mid conversation that day but I didn't get any signs of fog prior to that. I knew I felt exhausted and fatigued even in the clarity but thought i could handle a conversation, but I could not. I really hope it's a sign of potential improvement. I am terrified though that nothing similar has happened in over 45 days.

Things just have been completely stagnant, my sense of self and identity just doesn't populate in my head, making eye contact and any emotional connection with anyone impossible. It's hell and the hopelessness just keeps weighing on me. I am doing everything I can to improve this, but if things stay the same I just don't know how I will cope. This forum has been a good resource to vent and find people who can lift me up at least for a few of these moments.
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