[lopi]

My husband told me yesterday he wants a divorce. He says he cannot handle the stress and that
I am not the person he married, the real blow was he said that my head injury was not very bad and I really should be better by now.

I know we were having problems but I just thought we needed space so I left the other night because he yelled at me and called me a *edit* and I snapped and had to get out.

We were in a Motorcycle accident 4 years ago he was driving and I flew off the back and hit my head @ 65 mph. He says he has stayed this long because he felt resposible for me but it is too much for him.
He is burnt out.

So after 17 years of marriage and seeing him through open heart surgery, his type 1diabtes, loving him unconditionally through lifes ups and downs, he picks now to want out.

I have not been able to work since the accident and have no income, I am under his insurance, my car is broke down, because of finical problems in our business we own together we have stopped getting a paycheck, the last thing I think I can handle is finding the energy to go through a divorce.

It is not like I have not tried to get well I have seen the DR’s tried different therapies.

I know that I have changed but I have tried to be the best wife to him I could with what I have.
I cook dinner every night and clean the house, go shopping and the funny thing is that the more I tried to make him happy and act like everything was OK the more I was hurting myself.

Since I left him I have not had a seizure or felt overwhelmed. I have stopped and only do what I want to do I don’t have to make anyone else happy I don’t cook dinner I don’t make the bed less I want to I do the dishes when I can. And no one is watching TV at full volume and talking on the phone at the same time. And snoring so loud I can not sleep.

I have had time to think about everything long and hard and, we both have created a very toxic relationship. No one gives you the tools to handle the changes after a head injury. I was just told to go home and rest it will go away. And that is bad advice sometimes because My husband does not understand and says how come you are not better you should be better by know like I want to live this way. I think there is a part of him that feel I am faking not trying hard enough.

Before the accident I was so active he used to get mad at me because I had such a full schedule I worked full time with him, I worked out 4 times a week, I traveled, went to school part time and had a very busy social life full of friends and family. My nick name was running dog.

Now when he comes home he says what did you do today who did you talk to, where is dinner and if everything is not done or I did not have a good day he is very passive aggressive and leaves to go out with his friends.

I am just torn on what to do next I don’t blame him for this I know he is a good person put in a hard situation. I love him more than life itself and I don’t want to be selfish and cause him pain and make him stay with me because of guilt, that is not fair.

I don't have anger issues and I don't act out on him. I just don't function very well, I am not perfect and have some real congitive issues, and our life is not the same everything is differnt no more last minute lets go out to dinner, or lets go on a trip, everything takes twice as long as it use to I used to do errands on my lunch hour that will take me all day to do now.

Should I let him go, so he can have a better life. I thought when I married him at 29 years old I had found my soul mate

Alos he has a girlfriend I just found out about and that hurts to but not as bad as the uncoditional love I thought we had