When you are only 18 years old, you are expected by society to be doing certain things with your life. Graduating high school, going to college or starting your career. In general you are expected to be progressing in life and accomplishing things. To take time to slow down at that age makes everyone think less of you. people will think you are lazy and going nowhere in life. Its not like he does not want to take the time to heal, rather its the fear of getting left behind in life if he does. (At least it was for me)

If that issue of slowing down is based on the perception of others, it is false. There is an old saying. 'If you only knew how little time others spend thinking of you, you would not worry so much about what they think of you.'

A simple explanation is sufficient. 'I suffered a traumatic brain injury and needed to slow down and take some time off. I recovered and am doing great now.' Those that choose to not accept that explanation have their own issues.

That is a much easier explanation than the roller coaster of PCS interrupting ones life for years.

In my view, it appears most young people are not as concerned about what others think but rather do not want to miss out on partying and stressful entertainment. There are plenty of social circles that do not involve such brain stressful activities.

What I am referring to is not simply having to stop going to parties or certain entertainment events, rather having to take more drastic measures like stopping going to college or doing something of that sort where I think it is perfectly reasonable to be apprehensive to doing so. And with certain people, like me, you may need to do something like that because of the severity of your symptoms.

But if someone is complaining about not being able to party or do the other mentally damaging things the average college student does, then yes I completely agree that they need to reassess their priorities and choose between not doing these things and getting better or continuing to do these things and inevitable get worse and worse.

A lot of it is how you are perceived. To all my friends and family I physically look fine, so it is hard for them to think there is something wrong. People also tend to react inappropriately towards because I think they were so used to the way I was before, and they have some personal denial of my condition. Either way, one feels alienated pretty easily.

Feeling left behind encompasses most of it I think. It has been very hard seeing all my friends off at school or working while I have been stuck with my condition. Now, it's spring and I would usually be working 60 hours a week and I had to tell my employer hopefully next summer, but that isn't a guarantee. You realize how fast you life moves when you stop and see others before you keep going through life.

CE,

I suggest you seriously consider whether a 60 hour work week will ever be good for you. I don't think so. So, I suggest you look for a way to reinvent yourself using your skills in a way that does not require the intensity you are used to in your past.

I used to do work in many of the Silicon Valley companies. The best employers had many different ways to give employees breaks so they could get intense efforts. Apple Computer looked like an adult version of Chuck e Cheese.

Whatever engineering direction you pursue, there are ways to moderate your work stress. My niece's husband with a robotic engineering degree from Cal Poly just got his teaching credential because the intensity of his industry was more than he wanted. He teaches engineering in high school at a pace that leaves him available to his family.

As the son of a rocket engineer, I observed how my father learned to moderate the intensity of the Top Secret satellite surveillance projects he worked on. My brother, on the other hand, was unable to moderate his job stress as a systems engineer and has struggled ever since.

So, when you see friends taking on intense jobs in engineering or otherwise, try to recognize the price they pay for those jobs.

Your future family will want you when you get home, not a remnant after the pound of flesh taken by your employer. Whether one has some limits due to PCS or not, the stress that comes home is often the same.

My best to you.

The issues of perception, peer pressure and expectations placed upon you by yourself and others is not limited to being in school or new career climbing.

I'm 57 and it's no different. My competitors were circling like vultures after my accident, ready to divide my customers. I fooled them and didn't die!

After a 10 month hiatus from work I was very concerned about customer opinion and was I ever being watched...employees as well.

It has been a very difficult lesson for me to learn to keep my head down and mind my own business, not be swayed by the polls of public opinion and be confident enough to heal in the way I felt best despite having never been down the PCS road before.

I believe peer pressure has its place but you can't allow it to make decisions for you in and of itself. It has taken a good whack to the noggin to learn that, an unexpected benefit from a bad situation.

Bud

This is exactly how I feel. My condition has been changing lately, I've been feeling more dizziness, memory issues, migraines, and brain fog. It's very hard for me to think of words sometimes. My ears ring 24/7. My memory issues are bad, I'm very forgetful and I don't really think of old memorys in general, If someone mentions it to me, I'll usually remember it. But if no one says anything about an old memory, it's like I don't have the ability to retrieve it. I just hope I get better, I've been resting since I've gotten home, in hopes that I'll get better one day. It's crazy, there were so many things I took for granted when I wasn't dealing with PCS. I'm forced to live life so slow now, and it's hard for people to understand this as I've had ADHD and focusing problems my whole life. I'm a naturally energetic kid. I know I most likely won't ever be who I was before, but as long as I heal enough to be able to work out and jump around and just remember things to a decent degree, I'll be satisfied. It's time for me to just realize I won't be as intelligent, energetic, and witty as I used to be, but I think I'm okay with that.

[I know I most likely won't ever be who I was before, but as long as I heal enough to be able to work out and jump around and just remember things to a decent degree, I'll be satisfied. It's time for me to just realize I won't be as intelligent, energetic, and witty as I used to be, but I think I'm okay with that.[/QUOTE]

I assure you of this - if you take a very open approach to understanding what you are experiencing, and why the loss seems hard to accept, you will come out of this injury as an EVEN BETTER person than the person you thought got injured. I imagine that sounds like a bit of cloud 9 hopeful crap that a lot of people say when one is going through a difficult time, but having spent the last 14 months dealing with PCS (severe headaches, depression, and memory issues), this is something I am nearly convinced of.

Herm,

I have been an active person my entire life. Exercise, water and snow ski amongst other things...it all came to a grinding halt and I thought my life was over. I am 25 months post accident now and as active as ever with a few exceptions. Mainly that I can't exercise at previous levels Mon.-Fri. I need a day off after 3 in gym but what the heck, I can live with that.

Last year at this time I couldn't even walk 1/4 mile without terrible symptoms and it wasn't until 22 months I could tolerate some serious gym time.

I can say without a doubt that I have changed and for the better in many ways due to my accident experience. One of the biggest improvements I see is with my business. I am not afraid to say I have to think about something before a decision now and actually think I am making better decisions due to that.

Kerningz,

I did not get really bad until 6 months post accident. The first 6 months I thought healing was just like a broken bone...inconvenient but getting better. By 6 months I began to notice barely perceptible changes in thought and sleep and then WHAM!! The next 1.5 years was the toughest of my life.

Not at all saying you will be ran over like I was...just that your increasing symptoms later on in recovery is very similar to my experience.

Bud

Wow, that's a relief. How's your memory now? As well as your general cognitive abilities? and any dizziness? Also, I've been following the vitamin regimen for 4 months and I really haven't noticed any results to my knowledge. Is there anything you did that you believe helped you heal up? I'd love to follow said ideas. As an 18 year old, it's hard for me to just stay still all the time and not be active.