Yes. As my volleyball coach used to say, "One step back, two steps forward." I will continue to use trial and error going forward.

Also, I really like the quote at the bottom of your profile.

Another accident, another post...

This Sunday, I banged my head on a tree branch/stump that was protruding over the sidewalk. I couldn't make this up if I tried. I was looking down as I was walking and bumped my head right into it. There was a one-two inch bump on the back of my head and the pain from the accident subsided within 2-3 days.

I know that I should consider myself lucky as physically my symptoms are tolerable, if not non-existent. I have a minor headache and no feelings of dizziness and nausea, nor was there a loss of consciousness.

However, mentally, I have been struggling mightily. Like my last accident, it is a struggle to wake up in the morning and get ready for work. I have feelings of depression and and I really feel like death right from the moment I wake up to the moment fall asleep. I am afraid that each incident like this causes my memory to deteriorate just a little more and it has been harder for me to focus and be productive at work. I have a hard time following instruction and I am slower to solve complex assignments than before the incident.

I understand that this can be attributed to stress and anxiety that happened immediately following the incident and I have been seeing a therapist to help with this. I also understand that the best medicine is time and that eventually I will reach a point where this doesn't impact my day-to-day thought process. It is still incredibly difficult to keep a positive, optimistic, and grateful mindset when I really just want to curl into a ball and seclude myself from the outside world.

Thank you for listening. I needed to share this with the community You are all extraordinary people and I have all the respect in the world for seeing everyone continue to keep moving despite his/her struggles.

As Mark would say, my best to you,

Islesftw

Isle,

My bet is you are probably not concussed...I have taken some pretty hard knocks to the head this summerfalling on a ski (with a helmet on) and walked into a wing quite firmly with no problems.

I will say that anxiety does flare up over some whacks and can present its own set of symptoms, especially if we anticipate them occurring.

An odd one the other day for me...I tilted my head back like always in the shower to rinse shampoo off with no thought to it since my injuries have healed 2 years ago. As soon as I felt the water hit a shot of adrenalin pulsed through me from thinking I might get hurt! Where did that come from!

Bud

Thanks Bud. I really appreciate the response. I don't know or think this reached the threshold to be diagnosed as a "concussion." I also think, barring any physical injury, it is a useless endeavor to try to glean how much damage actually occurred.

That said, the mental aspects of this have been pretty rough. Today, the thoughts of wanting to die have subsided a bit, so that's obviously a positive development. There's nothing else I can do right now outside of just giving this time and waiting for it to heal on its own.

I'm glad you were able to go skiing with no ill effects. Thanks for the kind words.

PCS does weird things to the thinking process..you aren't alone and yes it does get better.

I'm having a tough time at work... my work has been slower and less accurate compared to before the accident. My headache permeates the entire day and it's tough to follow assignments that previously came easy. I just feel dumber and hopeless and that my life is going in reverse.

When I wake up until right when I fall asleep I think about death and how much easier and more attractive it sounds compared to what I'm dealing with now. I almost feel guilty for having these thoughts and not being grateful but I can't force myself to feel a certain way. Has anyone been here before? It's terrible.

Many of us deal with this. The thoughts of death need to be addressed if they are a problem.

Have you tried to simplify how you do your work ? I had to stop trying to use memory alone to do tasks. Multiple step tasks are the worst.

If you can describe the struggles you are having at work and the kind of tasks you need to do at work, maybe we can help you learn some work-arounds. Work-arounds can be lifesavers.

Thanks Mark. Really, I appreciate your response. I am seeing my therapist tonight so that should help with addressing those thoughts.

It's not so much that the actual work is an issue, it's more so me coming off as "slow" or "unintelligent" when I have to ask a zillion questions to my manager over what he expects me to do. I feel like it is negatively impacting my perception and reputation as I see him get visibly frustrated or annoyed when I keep asking. It's just an additional stress on top of whatever I am already dealing with.

Ultimately, I'll be ok and I'll get through this when everything is said and done. Today has been noticeably better and for that I am thankful. I just really needed to vent yesterday.

If you are asking these questions verbally, take notes when he answers. This will help if you struggle to recall verbal instructions. I am horrible at recall of verbal communications.

It will also help to be in a quiet setting when you talk with your manager. Ambient noise can make a PCS brain struggle to receive verbal communications.

What has worked for me is to slow down, I sort f fund out my brain did not need to be as busy as I thought and kept it prior to my accident.

I write notes now as Mark suggests and when I multi task I stop at clear and obvious jumping off points before allowing my mind to go to the next chore.

Yes it gets frustrating because I'm not like I was before where multi tasking flowed but if tasks are completed and results are satisfactory does it matter if you are having to accomplish it in a different manner? No. In fact I say more power to us for being able to learn, shows we are still alert and active upstairs.

Bud