[MVTBI]

Hello everyone,

I have been feeling quite well for the pas 4-5 months, no real major issues small stuff, have been able to workout to high exertion as well as recreationally read for extended periods, anxiety has been kept at bay minor headaches. Most of all I have managed to be a good family man.

But as of late I have been experiencing a spike in anxiety as well as headaches and double vision, reason being I am returning to training for work, currently I work in the company in a pretty low stress environment. The return to work requires me to be physical active at a really high level and then work on technical skills followed by computer work for a few hours, this is all part of a test to get me back to where I want to be. Now obviously it has to be related.

However I have been cleared by numerous doctors including one saying no restrictions, and honestly I didn't anticipate these problems at all. I feel like maybe I have been managing these issues in that environment and that all was not good in the old brain.


This really is a long way of asking is it possible I still have some sort of damage , it's almost 3 years, I meditate sleep exercise take vitamins most everything and can't seem to get by this stuff, it feels to me that something isn't right. I want to get back to this job, and would be really disappointed if I couldn't, however I am not willing to sacrifice my home time with family for it. I am in the middle of what is a very hard decision, employment is not an issue I will remained employed just not in my "dream job" any advice or information is appreciated.

I'm going to keep working at it but is this possibly something I can't work through? I also don't want to feel like a quitter or that I gave up

[Mark in Idaho]

I wonder if you are trying to ramp up too fast.

The damage to your brain happened. It left you with a weakness. It is no different than an ankle I broke 30 years ago. I can do everything but it will feel sore and stiff after. But, the brain does not recover like an ankle does.

The doctor who said, No restrictions, was likely just saying he did not see anything that indicated you could not or that resuming them would put you at risk. But, there is no way he could say that you can tolerate all of your previous activities without a return of any symptoms.

You may do better to only increase one of the three activities and work to increase endurance in that activity. Then, try another activity a week later. It may only be one of the three activities that is causing problems.

[MVTBI]

thanks again as always you are a huge help.

The one part that I'm struggling with (ego wise) is why would the anxiety make such a return after I had it in check, it seems to make sense that stress would do that?

I am gonna re engage with my psych to see if we can change it.

But in a way it seems like when the battery gets low all this stuff comes on hard, almost like the governer is broken.

does this seem reasonable ? Or even correct sometimes just understanding helps deal!

Thanks in advance!!

[Mark in Idaho]

Or, could it be that when you push to perform, your adrenaline levels and cortisol levels increase ? Both are part of the anxiety/fight/flight system.

I know that certain activities will leave me a bit hyper or anxious or stimulated, however one defines it.

Maybe increasing your serotonin levels will help. A 50 mg or 100 mg 5-HTP capsule each morning may help. It has changed my life. I no longer take the SSRI I took for anxiety for 14 years. I replaced it with 5-HTP and feel much better. 50 or 100 mgs of 5-HTP is very safe unless one is taking an SSRI.

But, I also know to not stack strenuous activities on top of strenuous activities.

[Bud]

MV,

Right there with you, I can totally relate to your post.

I went for 3 months with quite manageable symptoms and after Christmas....BAM, for a month anxiety and headaches and somewhat hard to pinpoint any reason.

Stress from work really ramps up symptoms for me and stress occurs at a much lower level than prior to my accident.

It can get uncomfortable at times but I have found that I do just fine even when I think I am in over my head. I have to force myself to not let my mind wander when multi tasking arises...work triage sort of.

I battle that nagging thought and feeling of things not quite being right with me also. The last 2 weeks I have been making a very concerted effort to not allow the "feelings" to alarm me.

I would have never guessed an accident could still remind me it happened after 3 years.

Take care,
Bud

[MVTBI]

Totally, I went back to my tool box of mind management techniques, slept a lot meditated and all that good stuff and seem to be back on some what solid ground.

This is definitely an uptick in activity, I am doing high intensity drills in the morning all week followed by some course work in the afternoons, and cumulatively it seems to add back up to headaches and double vision with that detached feeling we are all familiar with. Which when the anxiety was present I was attributing it all to, now though that I have it managed I can kind of see something else at work here.

I am with you, 3 years later and after months of just good ol regular life and lots of laughs to have it come back on was a bit overwhelming and disappointing but I got some good advice here and I am going to carry on and see what I can do.

Thanks as always