I have suicidal thoughts daily but no intention to act on it. I just want pain to end. Most of these started after I had kids and my sleep dramatically declined. Now that I have 2, someone is almost always sick and I went through months where I was getting 3-5 hours/night. Now I get 5-6.

I'm severely depressed now. I was a very successful poker player before this. Then I went on spiral when I hit my low point and didn't care about the $ I accumulated as it had no value. I lost pretty much everything I made.

My family is falling apart. I moved states, quit my trading job in hopes to heal and everything became much worse.

My family wants me to go to treatment facility for addiction. I think I need break from everything and my suicidal thoughts are getting more common.

My fear is if I go to treatment facility, I will get better just from more sleep and lack of stressors but as soon as I come back to real world, I won't be able to cope. Any advice appreciated.

What kind of addiction are you or your family seeking to treat ?

You sound like you have been struggling with depression for quite some time. The apathy toward your winnings is classic depression.

What are you doing to support your family ? Does this help you feel productive ? Feeling productive is very important to mental health for many of us.

Currently nothing. A couple years ago while I was making a very low salary as a trader(potential for big gains) I won a poker tourney for $150k. I continued to work while I gambled on side and won even more. But the $ was just a distraction for me and attemp to hide my pain/unhappiness from dealing with my TBI. I've studied poker for 10+ years, was one of the best online players, so for me my addiction was my means to make a living.

The problem came when I couldn't handle my life and I gambled high stakes and didn't stop/scale back when I started losing. I wasn't set up for success. My family thinks my addiction is the main cause of my depression/pain and I think it's other way around(does it matter?)

So, they think you are addicted to gambling ?

I know somebody who is ruining lives with his gambling. He is a deadbeat dad to 4 children by 3 women. It is a sad situation.

If you have family willing to help and encourage you so you can get in a stable life and you can get focused and committed to changing so you can move forward, I suggest you give it a try.

I don't think anybody can say what your primary issue is. Gambling, depression, TBI issues, they are all linked. Gambling can be a self-medication for depression as you look for the high of a win.

You may find treatment will help you unlock many underlying issues so you can get truly better.

My best to you.

I guess I'm not sure what type of treatment center to go to. One that focuses on depression or gambling?

I found this one

Cognitive Solutions Learning Center, Treatment Facility, Chicago, IL 60614 | Psychology Today

They mention neuro feedback and traumatic brain injuries and depression/addiction. I just feel a lot of these places just list every possible issue. I'm skeptical from being burned by carrick center so maybe I don't need any neuro feedback and just need to figure out how to cope with my life when I have pain every day/fog that never goes away.

Thank you for advice Mark.

They might be worth a call. They do not list addiction of any kind but they may have a referral.
Cognitive Solutions Learning Center - ADD / ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Dyslexia & Learning Disabilities Chicago