I have been a hypochondriac about brain injury all my life, and even the slightest hits to my head sent me worrying greatly. However, I was lucky and none of these hits actually gave me a real clinical concussion.

However, on june 16, my luck ran out. Due to a home accident, I really got a concussion. However, now whereas I had been a hypochondriac before, I suddenly started to become very rough with my head, because I had "given up all hope". The initial concussion was very mild and was barely even noticeable by the doctor. However, what happened in the weeks that followed turned my very mild concussion into a life changing one.

Getting a concussion was a traumatic event for me and I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist as having PTSD. I stupidly began aggressively punching the air and jerking my head violently 12 hours after the first concussion due to frustration. Never did I know these acts would damage my brain badly, and by evening I had my first episode of dementia, where I lay in bed and did not know where i was, and what I was doing in bed. After I slept I had a nightmare and my shoulder slammed into my face.Terrible ringing in my ears and full out concussion symptoms occured. I could not read, I could not use the computer, I forgot my parent's names, I did not know what I was doing, what had happened in the last few days.

In the nights that followed, I began hitting myself in my sleep, in the head, every single night without my knowledge. I would wake up to tremendous pain in my head and loud ringing, but I could never stop the self-harm in my sleep. They seemed to be schizophrenic incidents, because I would remember brief glimpses of them happening, but it would appear to me as a dream, and at those moments my body would act on its own.

It started to get better after 5 days. But thats when the real killer came - My psychological state had declined to the point that I was no longer myself. In the dark room and in my insanity, I pushed and pushed the top of my head strongly with the heel of my palm as I lay down, for 4 hours believing somehow that I was massaging my head . By the next morning I was visibly dazed, and could not think. Previously, the damage was done to my left and right temporal lobes, and now the entirety of my frontal lobe was compromised.

I then went to see my neurosurgeon. Upon coming back, I continued this self destructive behavior for another 4-5 hours as I was still dazed and quite frankly, Had no clue what I was doing and that it could damage my brain. Little did I know that the brain was extremely fragile after a TBI , and little things that should not damage it usually, became devastating.

The next day I could not think, and had massive pains in my head, just like the first day of my concussion. I suspected that I gave myself another concussion and was very depressed. That night, a large object fell from a great height right onto the region of the head I was pushing, the forehead. It was extremely forceful and I was shocked. I noticed that I had lost the ability to feel depressed, and was apathetic. There was a weird feeling of nausea in the middle of my head behind the area I had hit. I went to sleep after that and woke up not even being able to remember my age.

The next day, another object fell onto my head , through sheer bad luck (I was lying down after vomitting and it seems my hands had accidentally destabilized an object on the drawer behind my head)

After this I visited the hospital everyday. I met with psychiatrists, Neurologists, Neurosurgeons, primary care physicians and tried all sorts of therapies (hyperbaric oxygen). I had spent $4000, But nothing worked, and I fell into a deep despair and the family that was supporting me crumbled apart.

The nausea in my head and headache whenever I tried to use my brain was debilitating, and I could not even string up an basic thought in my head. I started stuttering and stumbling over my words and to think, I had to verbalize it or my focus would wane.

Over a week later, I still cannot read large chunks of text or watch TV as I cannot process the information fast enough. I have to reread each sentence again and again or I would get the wrong message.

This is about the most unlucky a person could possibly get and to be honest, I have no idea how to cope with it. No doctor can give me a timeline for healing simply because of the abnormal nature of my circumstances.

Does anyone have any experience with repeated concussions while healing? Right now I am living day to day and its extremely demoralizing when nothing seems to be healing. And yet, I seem to be somehow managing to hit myself in the head every single day.