Alright, i appreciate it Mark. So you believe that my routine is safe and worth contiunuing as is so long as i make certain adjustments such as reducing weight training and making serious efforts to reduce stress at all costs?

Im assuming you believe my great fears and concerns over harm of small things such as the transportation dilemma, walking, others, is unjustified?

Yah i agree with you about the doctors, i was only stating it for me to properly answer your question in an objective manner.

Also, small i thought i would mention this small anecdote: a couple months ago, while on the previously mentioned family trip to Boston, i had an interesting experience. I had been taking a mild dosage (5mg) of the ssrri lexapro over the last 4 days. On the 4th day of taking it i had a 3-4 hour period during which i felt much better. Its as if some of the fog was lifting and i was beginning to feel like myself again. The difference was definitely noticeable and what surprised me was that is came following the period of last few days which were FILLED with some extremely bumpy and long car and plain rides. I was certain i had just ruined myself but then out of nowhere that experience happened.

It was short lived, i soon went back to normal and the next day i got cold feet and discontinued the medication but that 4 hour window gave me a glimmer of hope. Now i know it doesnt mean much but its meaningful to me since its the onlyntime over the past several months were ive kinda felt like my old self.

Also do you think all the very bumpy driving/travel around boston/plane ride could have been potentially harmful?

Ben, it was good to read that you noticed some improvement after taking Lexapro for a short time.

Please remember that Lexapro, like all SSRIs, typically take a while (weeks - months) to become fully effective.

You could consider taking it for a longer time to see if you notice a sustained improvement.

No, the bumpy plane and car ride was not harmful unless you were in the back of a truck laying on the floor with your head bouncing on a hard object/floor. This is the last time I will respond to these illogical concerns about getting brain damage from a plane ride or hug or such.

As Kiwi said, Lexapro and others like it take a couple weeks to take effect. One can never look at them with an hour to hour analysis. There is still a potential of a mild up and down in symptoms with SSRIs. They smooth out the highs and lows to a more tolerable level.

It sounds like the Lexapro is worth a second try. It can help you get control of your thoughts and anxieties, at least to a level where you start using the CBT skills.

Regarding the comment about pursuing psychology, I do not think it is a good idea for you. Get a book by Ralph Mattson and Arthur Miller called, "Finding a Job You Can Love." Finding a Job You Can Love by R. T. Mattson & A. F. Miller I met Ralph and Arthur 40 years ago. They have amazing insight into finding a career direction.

Ok thanks, sorry for asking the same things so much.

So you agree I should continue my every day routine as is? Simply asking since you've suggested in the past that people slow down.

The plan is to stick with the therapy for another month or so, see what benefits I can get and then go on to a ssri if I'm not satisfied with the progress. And then ofc combine the two.

I'll check it out thanks, and yah I agree I don't particularly want to go into psychology, I'm more interested in business and economics. I just hope my brain will be able to handle the math classes lol.

I think your mom is correct .....moving might be worth a try, and might help you break the cycle of thinking in your head..

Thanks I'll think about it. What I really want thoug is if someone could sign off on the daily routine and activities I am currently doing by listening to my issues and what I've said and just giving an opinion on if it's ok. I don't like feeling like I could be making my condition worse every day but I don't really know what else to do.

Ben, I would be happy to look at your posts from a CBT perspective.

I could comment on what seem to me to be NATs, with an explanation.

It will be up to you to do a "CBT challenge" of those NATs though.