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Can anyone offer any hope? - 'PCS'

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Old 04-10-2019, 10:41 PM   #1
creg27
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Default Can anyone offer any hope? - 'PCS'

Around three months ago, I took a bad hit the front of my head and everything has seemed to turn upside down since then. I had an MRI and it came back clear, with no evidence of structural damage, and I was subsequently diagnosed with Post-Concussion Syndrome. However, I have none of the typical PCS symptoms like headache, nausea, dizziness, anxiety, tinnitus, etc. Instead, my symptoms seem highly frontal lobe related, as it's almost like I've lost my personality, I feel disinhibited, unmotivated, completely emotionless, and lazy. I have some other unrelated symptoms like fuzzy short term memory and basically feeling like everything has been a dream since the hit.

I have been told that I will go back to normal within 3-6 months, but it's been 3 and I still feel dazed, strange, like I've lost who I am, and I can't process my life. It's almost as if my brain refuses to believe that this is my current state and I still associate myself with who I was in the past - intelligent, driven, sensitive, normal.

Has anyone experienced a similar injury and can offer hope? Or share stories of how they coped/recovered? I desperately want to feel like myself again, but I'm unsure of what to do, short of Jesus performing a miracle and fixing me.
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Old 04-11-2019, 09:07 AM   #2
davOD
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It takes time relax, never over do it....Keep things simple....Dont worry, just relax is the best you can do for yourself...

This is nothing like a blister or broken bone....Your brain is a super computer, and let it rest.....I hope for great healing for you!
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Old 04-11-2019, 11:36 AM   #3
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I can very much relate- on a bad day, I feel like a completely different entity with none of the thought patterns that I could normally relate to, without any sense of self. I'm also in that 3-6 month period and it is discouraging that this is usually considered the point where one is supposed to have turned the page and move on. However, being on this board does help in seeing that in reality we're still early in the journey.

What I'll say is that for one, I've had a helping of 'good' days in the past couple months, where I can sort of feel my brain booting back up a bit, and some sparks of the long inner dialogues that used to keep me occupied seem to be forming. Mind you, it's usually one or two of these at most followed by at least a week of being back 'in the hole'. It's a battle, but these have been giving me hope.

I've also become skeptical regarding how much of this is truly from physically damaged neural connections and I believe there is a substantial emotional component to this sort of vacant, distant feeling. I don't know if meds are the answer per say, but the truth is that depression can have a cognitive impact, and I think there is a feedback loop going on where the emotional trauma is causing a deficit in brain power, then leading to even more despair, so on and so forth... Of course I haven't actually been able to get evaluated in any regards (working on this), forcing me to analyze my own medical state, which is usually not a good thing...

Anyways, just wanted to let you know I have the same thoughts as you every day, but I think there is hope, and at this stage I think it is worth it to get checked out for psychological issues as well as anything else that may have a role in your condition. Also, echoing what many here would say is take some high quality supplements (for me omega 3, magnesium L-threonate, lion's mane), can only help.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:25 PM   #4
creg27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitardude View Post
I can very much relate- on a bad day, I feel like a completely different entity with none of the thought patterns that I could normally relate to, without any sense of self. I'm also in that 3-6 month period and it is discouraging that this is usually considered the point where one is supposed to have turned the page and move on. However, being on this board does help in seeing that in reality we're still early in the journey.

What I'll say is that for one, I've had a helping of 'good' days in the past couple months, where I can sort of feel my brain booting back up a bit, and some sparks of the long inner dialogues that used to keep me occupied seem to be forming. Mind you, it's usually one or two of these at most followed by at least a week of being back 'in the hole'. It's a battle, but these have been giving me hope.

I've also become skeptical regarding how much of this is truly from physically damaged neural connections and I believe there is a substantial emotional component to this sort of vacant, distant feeling. I don't know if meds are the answer per say, but the truth is that depression can have a cognitive impact, and I think there is a feedback loop going on where the emotional trauma is causing a deficit in brain power, then leading to even more despair, so on and so forth... Of course I haven't actually been able to get evaluated in any regards (working on this), forcing me to analyze my own medical state, which is usually not a good thing...

Anyways, just wanted to let you know I have the same thoughts as you every day, but I think there is hope, and at this stage I think it is worth it to get checked out for psychological issues as well as anything else that may have a role in your condition. Also, echoing what many here would say is take some high quality supplements (for me omega 3, magnesium L-threonate, lion's mane), can only help.
I, too, felt as though I was making some progress, but the past few days have been nightmarish again. I never imagined that there could be a hit to the head that literally takes away everything you are - it is truly absolute hell and I don't know if it will ever feel real, but I keep praying (maybe naively) that one day I'll wake up and it will all be normal again.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:02 PM   #5
JBuckl
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Creg,

My injuries, challenges, and great suffering over the past 5.5+ years since my first significant brain injury has led me to today where I am the most at peace with my life I have ever been. My life is awesome and not in the same ball park as pre-injury life. Symptoms are still there, but I can do more than I can not do. Some of the abilities I have acquired and perspectives gained are far superior to pre-injury.

Healing your brain is less about the body honestly (for myself anyways) and more about healing the mind and spirit. I don't neglect the body; it's huge. But it won't heal until your entire being fully does.

There is a little research and tons of anecdotal evidence of the body healing as the mind and spirit heal.

Wounds help slow us down and look inwards. You have lots of opportunities to learn - do not waste them.
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"Thanks for this!" says:
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Old 04-17-2019, 10:54 PM   #6
MrT-Man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by creg27 View Post
Around three months ago, I took a bad hit the front of my head and everything has seemed to turn upside down since then. I had an MRI and it came back clear, with no evidence of structural damage, and I was subsequently diagnosed with Post-Concussion Syndrome. However, I have none of the typical PCS symptoms like headache, nausea, dizziness, anxiety, tinnitus, etc. Instead, my symptoms seem highly frontal lobe related, as it's almost like I've lost my personality, I feel disinhibited, unmotivated, completely emotionless, and lazy. I have some other unrelated symptoms like fuzzy short term memory and basically feeling like everything has been a dream since the hit.

I have been told that I will go back to normal within 3-6 months, but it's been 3 and I still feel dazed, strange, like I've lost who I am, and I can't process my life. It's almost as if my brain refuses to believe that this is my current state and I still associate myself with who I was in the past - intelligent, driven, sensitive, normal.

Has anyone experienced a similar injury and can offer hope? Or share stories of how they coped/recovered? I desperately want to feel like myself again, but I'm unsure of what to do, short of Jesus performing a miracle and fixing me.
Hang in there. I was a total disaster for the first six months, essentially in an altered state of consciousness. Im at 15 months and doing a lot better. I still cant drive much, and fatigue is still an issue. But Im 85% functional at work, up from maybe 20% during the first few months. Brain injuries can take quite some time to heal.

I found meds to be very helpful (especially zoloft and concerta), but given that youre still early in your healing, you might want to wait another 3 months before looking more closely at meds.
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Old 04-18-2019, 02:43 PM   #7
guitardude
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Originally Posted by MrT-Man View Post
Hang in there. I was a total disaster for the first six months, essentially in an altered state of consciousness. Im at 15 months and doing a lot better. I still cant drive much, and fatigue is still an issue. But Im 85% functional at work, up from maybe 20% during the first few months. Brain injuries can take quite some time to heal.

I found meds to be very helpful (especially zoloft and concerta), but given that youre still early in your healing, you might want to wait another 3 months before looking more closely at meds.
this is encouraging! really does feel like i'm on drugs... just substitute the euphoria with pure gloom. Doing fair this week though, trying to use it as an opportunity to leave the house and enjoy some music, seems to be the best medicine
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