This is a BLOG posted to the PsychCentral blog at:
7 Tips When Telling Someone About Your Mental Illness

It is intended for people with mental illness but I believe it has many applications to people with brain injury struggles as they try to explain their struggles to friends and family.

I have added a few comments in italics that apply to brain injury

7 Tips When Telling Someone About Your Mental Illness
By Ann-Marie D'Arcy-Sharpe
Last updated: 21 Aug 2020
~ 2 min read

Telling somebody about your mental illness (brain injury struggles)for the first time can be nerve-wracking, whether it’s bipolar disorder or another diagnosis. It’s hard to know how people will react, and there’s often the worry about stigma.

There are a few things you should bear in mind when you are planning to tell someone about your mental illness.(brain injury struggles

1. Remember you don’t owe anyone that information

The first thing to remember is that you should only tell them if you feel ready and if you want to. You don’t owe anyone the details about your diagnosis. That’s your personal choice. Never feel pressured to disclose if you don’t feel that’s right for you.

2. Only share as much as you feel comfortable with

Likewise, you don’t have to give all of the details about your diagnosis. There’s no requirement about how much you share. You can decide how much detail you want (or don’t want) to go into.

3. Practice beforehand
This is very important for brain injured people. We tend to struggle to express our thoughts when the stress level goes up.

If you’re really nervous, it can be a good idea to have a practice beforehand. You could practice what you’re going to say out loud, or if that feels a bit ‘silly’ you could go over what you want to say in your head. You might not stick to it exactly, but it can give you an idea of where to start.

4. Do so in a place you feel safe
A place with minimal distractions is best

It’s always a good idea to start any serious conversation in a place you feel safe and secure. This will vary for everyone. For some people, they may feel more comfortable having the conversation at home where the surroundings are familiar and comforting. For others, they may prefer to talk about it in a public place so that they can leave when they want to.

5. Be aware they might not fully understand at first
Expect them to not understand. They may say "But you look great." or they may discount your struggles "Everybody has a hard time remembering things like names from time to time. I do." or "I've struggled to find the right word."

It’s important to remember that even if the person you’re talking to is someone you love very much, they might not fully understand at first. That doesn’t mean they’ll react badly or negatively, it simply means they might not know much about your diagnosis or about mental illness [I](brain injury)[/I in general. Bear that in mind beforehand so you can control your expectations. They might not know what to say or how to react appropriately, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or want to learn.

6. Pinpoint them to resources to learn more

If the individual you disclose your mental illness to doesn’t know much about the topic, it’s a great idea to have resources that you feel explain your condition well ready. That way you can pinpoint them to resources to read or watch so that they can educate themselves and know better how to support you.

The TBI Survival Guide tbiguide.com or Brainline "Lost and Found" Lost & Found: What Brain Injury Survivors Want You to Know | BrainLine

7. Offer them the opportunity to ask questions

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could offer them the chance to ask questions once you’ve finished explaining. This allows them to ask things that might be on their mind, but they might not want to ask for fear of offending you or not saying the right thing.




Ann-Marie D'Arcy-Sharpe

From the end of August, Psych Central will be owned by Healthline and our blogs will be discontinued. If you'd like to continue following my story, please join on my new blog here: Highs and Lows

Very good tips! I find in general if a person delays revealing a diagnosis to an intimate partner like someone they want to seriously date long term, the delay in telling the diagnosis makes the partner make worse assumptions about you and the condition. I also find certain people with disabilities immediately get offended if the person they disclosed to doesn't have the "expected" reaction...

A very important truth is quite simple. We cannot and must not project feelings or understandings on others. If they do not understand or do not believe, that is their right.

That 'offended' person is their own enemy.

As the saying goes, You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

You can tell somebody the truth but you cannot make them believe.

I'm confused. Isn't an intimate partner already somebody you would want to date long term? TBI/PCS people already have enough roller coaster rides. They do not need to start relationships on a roller coaster.