Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome For traumatic brain injury (TBI) and post concussion syndrome (PCS).


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Old 09-27-2021, 08:00 AM #1
Alafia22 Alafia22 is offline
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Trig Is anyone willing to lend a hand up, quickly?

I apologize first as the “quickly” is due to trying and failing, to leave this world. Something that whom I was? Would not ever of been a thought.
I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD hiding TBI from 20+ years ago. The fuse was lit after my support pup who, in my mind, heart & soul, embodied my personal family.
I went from not believing the Doc to in shock as to deteriorating so very quickly, all in a few week span. Pain killers, all meds have been exhausted- currently on high doses of 9-10 with only 2 that help/do a little of what they’re supposed to. Anti-anxiety & one for energy & focus.
Is there hope for a cure? I now cannot make much sense from what I read & the Doctor is getting frustrated as I cannot remember what’s been said after frequent, 2 hour video calls. Unable & unwilling to leave our home as this is where the last few memories of us reside. Early 40’s and both parents refuse to believe. They’ve left me when needed most despite the strongest human bond I had, with my Dad. He needs a life with my Mom & doing so requires him to let me go.
Oct 4th marks 10 months though the past 3, just into 4 days? Rapid & very significant decline. A smartalec response to a text from my Doctor regarding adding “2+2”… his reply? At this point it would take superhuman powers.
Yes, I admit to being fearful. Is anyone able to spare a moment to help me know if there’s realistic hope as faith, my foundation? God is now the only one who should ever fear me.
Would anyone knowledgeable on PTSD & TBI be willing to share their informed opinion as to what is thought to be done by me?
Physical pain & body failing me is ok. Having lost most of my memory now & the only thing that’s kept me on Earth.. memories of my sweet boy, taken from me? Turning into a “vegetable” I will fight to the end which apparently is closer than I care to admit.
My sincere thanks & gratitude to any/all for their help. I’m lost & alone. Asking for help? This is the 2nd time in 10 months. The other being upset at this website last night… I did not know a mere email confirmation was all that was needed. If you folks are reading this? Please accept my sincere apologies. Anger is not part of who I was. Seems I’m not equipped to handle it appropriately. Two rare moments in a row with enough strength to seek & actually ask for help. With the little hope left in me, I will leave it here for others… so many others who suffer from this “recently unknown to me horrid thing”, I hope life is treating you all kindly. Either take care, or, so long.
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Old 09-27-2021, 10:49 AM #2
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Old 09-27-2021, 01:43 PM #3
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I don't usually post in this TBI section but it's not possible to send you a private message until you have more posts here.

I don't know what country you are in but many countries now have suicide prevention hotlines. You call the number and someone is there to talk to you.

The person is supposed to have been trained and to be understanding. It sounds as if you would really benefit from talking to someone in a situation where you can lay out your concerns in more detail.

i hope that you will look for some counseling so you can get through this bad time more easily.
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Old 09-27-2021, 03:07 PM #4
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Hi Alafia22,
I'm sorry that you're feeling so badly.
I wanted to let you know that there is a SOS - Survivers of Suicide Forum here where you can talk too.

What to do if you are alone and thinking of suicide

Remember, suicidal thoughts are temporary but can come and go. When you're feeling at your worst it's best to call a friend or find a support person to be with you. If you can call a professional such as a doctor or your prescribing physician urgently.

It sounds just from reading (and I'm just waking up in Au so may be wrong) but your medications sound really confusing. Sometimes they can do the opposite of what they're supposed to do and may need adjustment.

What country are you in? We can help you find the support/help lines if you need us to do that. I'm sorry that the confirmation time for joining the site so long for you and that you're frustrated with posting your message.

Hang on tight there. Remember that these suicidal thoughts are temporary but you must reach out for professional help and as I suggested, call a friend to be with you or a neighbour.

So sorry for your terrible loss and I'm sorry that you're so sad.

Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.
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Old 09-27-2021, 04:15 PM #5
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Explore the useful sticky threads above the main PCS/TBI thread section, there are green circle w/ arrow icons to indicate them..
Here are few links to them -
Vitamin and Supplements Regimen
TBI & PCS articles, research & other useful links
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Old 09-28-2021, 09:32 AM #6
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I apologize folks as I should not of left off with something off topic for this site. Please know that my Doctors, family & friends all have known for months, heartbreak alone sent me to the need of that unspeakable action, all of the TBI effects or strange happenings? Only cemented it over so much time & pain.. dealing with it alone.

I’m here to hopefully learn, as able, what to possibly expect.. what others are going through & be of any help or comfort possible as I know only the pain, fear & unexplainable madness now with no one to help apart from doctors. I’m here to learn, all I can. Not to cause any problems or make any waves. I hope you’ll all allow me to start again. A medical reason found half a year after everything has gotten so bad, just doesn’t help much. Knowing I’m far from alone in what I’m experiencing is of both great help & great sadness. How can this be affecting so many folks and yet, be so unknown to most of society? Anyways..

I’ve been told plainly that it would take “superpowers” to understand simply what a level is for & work a screwdriver at the same time. I’ve got to stay busy so I constantly do projects on my sweet boy & my home. Hearing that put me in disbelief, then I became furious. Anger? Is not part of who I am. I don’t deal with it well. On one of the dozens of notepads everywhere, I was told that on Sunday. Yesterday, Monday? With conviction, I was going to complete the current project. At any cost. I succeeded but it took from Dawn till Dusk for maybe an hours worth of work. Wrapped duct tape on a 2x4 to use as a cane… my left leg stops working on & off throughout the day. It was foolish but, I guess I just need to learn how to cope with what’s happening.

My main doctor is really all I have left for support. He’s become frustrated as I can’t remember anything he tells me to work on. I’ve got an old cassette recorder & think I’ll try to repair it today. That should be a good start. Again, please accept my apologies. Asking for help is hard for everyone. For me, it’s just not something you’re supposed to do. But, I’m here. Ready to learn, listen & only post appropriately.

May I ask, how you all coped best after so many odd & painful things began happening? I’d ask if a hospital held any better chance of help but I’m unable to leave our home.

With gratitude & sincerity,
Jeff
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Old 09-28-2021, 01:14 PM #7
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Welcome Alafia22.
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Old 09-28-2021, 09:06 PM #8
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I'm very pleased and relieved that you came back to post and don't forget if you ever need to talk about suicidal thoughts that the SOS Forum is always there and remember that it's not a weakness to talk about those feelings, it's actually a strength.

There are obviously very different degrees of injury and it sounds as if you have at some time sustained a very serious injury. Feel free if you want to tell us more. It might help to understand your situation.

You mentioned in your first post a lot of different medications and I wondered if you find that they are helping you or are they making you feel depressed/sad?

At the top of the page are the threads called "Stickies". Those ones that Jomar mentioned in her post. There's also one there called

Posts on Hope and Healing

I'm not sure how difficult it is for you to read or post but if you can read some of them you'll find inspiration in there from other members in the years past.

Using the tape recorder is a great idea or even just taking notes. Your doctor becoming frustrated with you is a worry as they're supposed to be helping you move forward.

Note taking or using sticky post notes might help. They can help people in all sorts of ways. There are also those coloured adhesive spots. They can be good tools for the memory.

Well, take care there. I hope you're feeling better than you did the other day/night.
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Old 09-29-2021, 01:47 AM #9
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Jeff,

Let me try to help.

Start by reading everything you type a few times before you post. The memory struggles of a TBI can cause us to flood the keyboard with incomplete or unorganized ideas because we omit parts of the idea we are trying to communicate. Avoid long complex sentences.

Edit, reread, and edit some more. It helps us better understand ourselves as much as it helps others start to understand us.

Limit each paragraph to 5 or 6 lines. It is easier to read shorter paragraphs.

If you are typing this on a smart phone, try a laptop instead. Seeing more of what we type helps our brain understand it better. Smart phones are the kiss of death to effective communication.

Writing with some hidden details 'discussed' or mentioned is confusing. For example: "A medical reason found half a year after everything has gotten so bad, just doesn’t help much." What medical reason? What has gotten so bad?

I guarantee you that this forum has heard it all over the past dozen or more years.

So, I guess you have a bum leg and other challenges.

Your biggest challenges is the idiots around you who put limits on you such as the 'superpowers' level and screwdriver comment.

I know people who took two years to relearn to talk and walk.

I've lived 56 years with various memory and cognitive challenges that got worse with subsequent brain injuries. We can learn many ways to carry on.

So, if you can, break your story down into smaller parts that we can read and respond to.

Try to start at the beginning so we have context. I struggle to read complex sentences and totally crash if important context is left out. It can be like trying to start a jigsaw puzzle with all the corners and edge pieces left out.

My best to you.
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