It's whine time folks. I am not much for it, but today is just one of those days, so here it is.....

I have been one relatively ****** off individual these past few years.
I never thought about things that way until someone posted a few words about people being angry at the world for the where and why and what and all else that causes someone to be fated to living with severe TBI.

Mostly about the headaches, but then occasionally too about muscle aches, and spasms, and joint issues, and the wobblies and its ever present companion nausea, and memory issues and aphasia and and and and and.......................

For those who have come to NT/PC, and such a life-situation due to a TBI event....well, about all there is to say is that life sure can be a ***** sometimes.....

Standard nothing is what applies to the folks sustaining severe TBI's who for some mysterious reason show a remarkable ability to heal and learn. Doctors just want more tests and to keep you coming in regularly, both so they can think that one day they are gonna be the white hatted hero, and because they know that you are somewhat of a "captive" client. A client that will need, and therefore continue to supply the good doctor with a lifetime revenue stream, a lifetime of observation and consultation and referrals and billings.......
But let's face it, once you have sustained an injury/insult, and have consequently shown what is continuosly considered to be quite some remarkable rehabilitative progress, and have had every test imaginable already done at least twice and none of them ever yeilding even the murkiest of clues, what then is the purpose of going on with it?
The truth of the matter is that all the tests in the world are going to show some sort of anomalies, they are supposed to you know. That's what happens to people with TBI....And chances are extremely high that any such tests are NOT going to locate or signify any sort of meaningful TREATABLE issue, and if the tests do miraculously show a causal effect, there is very little chance that there is ANY thing they can be done to positively impact and negate the symptoms that bother you., especially from a pharmaceutical standpoint!

Say and think what you will, but if have questioned more than a few, like every neurology related specialist I have seen, and NONE of them, that's right, NOT ONE SINGLE NEURO-PHYSICIAN has disagreed with my assessment of my situation. And yet they all want to continue with billing somebody for even more drugs and tests that in the end are useless and stupid to even consider, let alone pursue.

Drugs just won't work right if they effect one part of the brain that in ordinary folks controls such functions/issues, but doesn't any longer in the now TBI person, It's just foolish wishes that such issues be prevented in the first place when the parts of the brain that once managed such a potential causal effect no longer exist as a working or functional entity and are no longer controlled by the specific part of the brain the nature intended it/them to. That's why the neuro's and there psychiatrist buddies insist on one taking everything imaginable until "we find the one that works", which chances are, ain't never gonna happen, short of finding a few psycho-tropics that do little more than make what is left of your brain numb and keep you and you brain quiet and compliant. Keeps you coming for at least 2 months more for every drug they try, and at the very least one more follow up visit, doesn't it ????

I have a neuro appt. next month, if it turns into more of the same, I am washing my hands of all things medical, until shortly after I am officially dead. I'll just learn to live with it all....Since what I say really doesn't seem to matter to any neurologist I have ever seen, and I have now seen plenty, I will no longer grace them with my billable hours. All I any longer want anyway is relief from the headaches, the rest I can deal with quite well, thank you.....And since not a neuro-anything within 100 miles of here sees fit to prescribe me the medications necessary to stop a headache ONLY WHEN I GET ONE and instead all seem exceptionally intent on getting me to take at least something everyday and something new at every appointment, and since THAT WILL NEVER EVER EVER happen again, just exactly what would the purpose be?

One neuro researcher physician even went as far as to tell my wife and I that I was correct and that any further tests or testing regimens will not yield any meaningful results, and that any further treatments or tests centered on alleviating these terrifyingly massive headaches outside of simply taking large doses of narcotics when I get them, would be foolish, and (his words) "in my opinion ill advised"
But that hasn't stopped all the rest of them from wanting more and more billable hours/tests/prescriptions.....They, not a one of them as near as I can tell, are really not interested in what I think or feel about any of my "treatment options", they ALL seem to think that when it comes to such things, they are all right up there at, maybe being is more apt, the right hand of God.

Here is some really good advice for those with what is considered Severe TBI....AND their doctors too.....

Brains, like eggs, once scrambled, can never be put back together again.

That, contrary to whatever the neurolog-whatever you are currently seeing or are being referred to might want you to believe, IS just the way things go for people in TBI land......

The whole neuro-TBI treatment scene, in my opinion and based on my rather considerable experience and never ending research into such things is, with TBI related things anyway, borders on little more than a massive defrauding of the public, the insurance companies, and the government.

Feel free to differ with anything I stated above, state away whatever disagreements you like, you'll be wrong and I am right, and that, well, that's all there is too it.

Well, I certainly feel better now
I feel so much better, I'm gonna take Sasha for a walk uptown!

HAGD!!!!

AHL
Fully delusional, and yet, only semi-psychotic