Just wondering how you are feeling. I hope you are doing better and getting some rest. Thinking of you.
CathyM

Hi, thank you for asking! I think I am doing well. No tears what so ever. I am walking about 1/2 - 1hour every morning and have been in the garden.

I was invited to a "work lunch" a few days ago but declined as didn't feel like facing any work mates.

I am still feeling tired but I guess that is only normal as the Doctor said I was exhausted and had been pushing myself for the past 6 years - lucky I had lasted that long really without crashing.

Still finding it hard to make any kind of decision but I am confident that will come right. I realise that I need to be patient - took 6 years to get into this state so I guess I can't expect to recover immediately!

It is strange how depression agravates all the PCS symptons - the distractability part is incredible.

To be honest it is such a relief to be not going to work! I had not realised the amount of energy it was taking and I am wondering if that was slowing my recovery from the TBI - who knows?

What is your story Cathym?

Lynlee

Hi Lynlee It's good to read your taking some time off and getting some rest,working in the garden and taking some long walks all very healing activities.

Take Care Jeffn

PS I like growing rocks as they are low maintenence easy to water and take care of and they stay where you put them.

Lynlee... I'm also glad to hear your feeling a bit better. Hope continues...
Seems you are finding, being shown what you need--rest, stress reduction and time .... to revaluate & reprioritize..and Heal.....

you've been pushing self for over 6 years; it is amazing you didn't crash but without pushing self more, try to look inside for your answers and make choices that are BEST for you. essier said than done--esp. for those w/ TBI issues. I 'm also easily distracted, have difficulty making decisions. and go thru episodes of emotional volitility...confusion and more....dysfunction.

sometimes we have the choice & sometimes others make that decision--my employers & DRs made it for me.. after I was hit by car 10+yrs ago.... other life changing events & Losses followed... too much to get into now.. that's my situation/story but I do realize now I couldn't continue pushing my self to go to work and do all I wanted and was trying to accomplish. for you, others may be different...

it may be good , or even necessary, to take that time off work as offered by your employer.(perhaps you won't need a year but you may want the time)
or you may be able to work out a better schedule or situation (work from home, on your schedule) or you may just need R&R...

you may find other options for work, means of subsitance- better for you than pushing self, swimmin against the current... and present "reality"...
that can change--but in meantime,Rest, be kind & gentle to self, and deal with now....your needs, quality of life, what's important to you....
I thought it was work, my job... it took long to "deal" with that, apply & adjust life to living on disabilty. for awhile it was good to not push to get up & go to work when I had headache, hadn't slept, or was so tired. to be able to go out into my gardens, tinker, rest.... i don't think I had the problems then that I have since I came to my parents home & became their caregiver. this is the hardest job i've ever done and is very stressful, but I'm committed to it... and pray I'll be able to continue or get needed help....
I'm still trying to find things that help me--meds, treatmts, "self help" things. in another post I discussed vitamins to help w/ fatigue; supplements for sleep.
Have you looked into 5HTP?? I've heard it can be as effective as some RX antidepressants-without adverse affects. I've been taking it for sleep and headaches. there may be better things ... more on this later....
I'll try to post some of the Links/info

whatever you decide I hope & pray for BEST....

Hi, ha ha growing rocks - with my luck I'd fall over them!!

With all my walking I think the postman must think I am a stalker - it seems that where ever I walk he is around the corner!

My latest problem is that I can't write a list of what I would like to do as I stress out big time when I can't complete it - oh such joy! I guess the more capable you once were the further you have to fall!!!

Then when I have an option of doing 2 things at the same time I can't decide which to do and stress about that - der!!! - maybe I should write a book about it - seriously it would be a comedy!

Anyway I am really feeling a lot better! And now I had better go and water the rocks!! And feed the gnome.

Lynlee

Pono - you are sounding a lot better!

Lynlee

Hoping things continue to improve. I've been reading just not posting
as much.

Sending you hugs.

Donna

Lynlee,
I hope all is going well and that your decisions are coming easier. Go on your first hunches and trust yourselve more. you are wiser than you give yourself credit for. Lots of good things to you!
Nancy

wondering how Lynlee & others are dealing w/ this and other affects .

for me, beyond depression-- very hard to express ...

Increase of debilitating chronic pain ; exacerbating my hypersensitivities,emotional volitility and cognitive dysfunctions.
persisting.... despite efforts,attempts & prays to "make better"....


I'd hoped the vitamins, supplements, would've helped more.... i realize & know they're important, necessary . Perhaps there are more & other things that could help .... i've become so worn out, frustrated and more... I've been on the verge of losing hope so many times but not as 'bad' or relentessly intense as now....

I've been seeking, trying many other things that could help... but feel I've failed.... on so many levels.... not only w/ my "healing" & issues but perhaps more so with my family -my elderly terminal ill father (I'm his primary Livein Caregiver , POA, etc) - dependent on me for everything-from his daily needs to dealing w/ other 'business" (finacial, medical, legal, etc)
recent hiring/firing of aide triggered trust issues & more questions- about my self-- abilities & dysfunctions; vulnerablities, "weakness" that can be exploited -- rubbed my nose in s**t

. too much to get into... I've been anguishing over so many things... my father--needs, quality of life; IF can keep him here at home; HOW to maintain, DO all that's needed and deal with more troubles that seem to be growing ....
personally, medically, with family....

I've never felt so overwhelmed, confused, conflicted, desparate... and more bad feelings...
I do blame TBi for problems --w/ cognitive funcitons- problem solving, and other "thinking", and doing.... I could ramble on about this but not now..

hope others are doing better...

Good evening Pono It's good to see your writing. Keep writing it helps get the negative energy out of our systems and it also helps other see that we can over come the personality changes caused by the TBI/PCS.

One Day At a Time Jeffn

Jeff... thanks for your ongoing support. will try to write more soon. I'm having much pain again today.
My neuro feels chronic pain conditions cause many similar problems that i blame TBI.--depression, sleep problems, emotional & cognitive dysfunctions, etc.
while i do agree w/ him about chronic pain , feel TBI's are very relavant & play a big role in my problems & dysfunctions.

Writing does seem to help . If these sharings help [others] --I'm glad...and will try to continue...
thanks again