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I am not saying its not hard for each person who finds them self,s changed by a TBI but even at the day centre I attend, I feel they just don,t understand the loss I feel I was very fast thinking being a project manager in the fire sprinkler industry having worked my way up from the tools I could out think and out wangle most I came across, they may think hey he can make coffee for 10 people and hold an intelligent conversation . but put me back in the contracting construction arena, and I would be a sheep amongst wolves, AND I AM ONLY TO AWARE OF THAT FACT, and the frustration I feel is some time overwhelming, I have just started nuro psych assessment, but to still have my intellect but not my functionality I wonder how much this will help me I do have faith in the doctor and he seems to understand at leased I can unload some of the stuff to someone who understands

Vini,
You're right. You sure do find out who your friends are! Some don't get it, some want to, but can't, some do, some don't care, and You also find out who are your enemies!
An illness, almost any illness, but certainly one where you "appear whole", can really play tricks, with "friends and family's" heads. It takes all kinds.

Peace,
ASB

I have the same problems with those who say my problems are all in my head. Well, dahhhh. But they think they are choices, not reactions based on an injury.

At my recent Social Security Disability hearing, even the Ph.D. psychologist stated that my problems were all psychological, not physiological. Three neuro-psych assessments over a six year period had matching results. Unfortunately, two of the three tried to ascribe my problems to psychological causes. As they say, If you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. To a psychologist, we all look like we have a psychological problem.

If any of you have a chance, have those friends closest to you attend a support group and hear what the other caregivers and friends say about their observations. It would even help for them to attend an appointment with a physician or psychologist to hear them validate the symptoms.

When they understand that, they begin to understand and even notice symptoms that they hadn't noticed before. It only takes one friend to understand and explain to the others. Then, those who refuse to understand make their own choice to continue the "friendship" or not.

We will be going to a support group meeting tonight. My wife is adamant about going. It is the only place where she feels understood as she relates about my behaviors. When she saw the more pronounced behaviors of some of the other brain injured, she realized that her experience was real but much less that it could have been.

I would suggest printing a copy of Dr. Glen Johnson's TBI Guide at www.tbiguide.com .
It is the best and easiest to understand, especially for caregivers and friends. Knowledge is power. Give those friends some knowledge and they can then participate as spontaneous caregivers or support.

It is definitely a tough project. One of my daughters has still not come to terms with my condition. The other daughter and son are more understanding. The feeling oriented persons tend to not accept our condition as easily. Instead, they may consider our behaviors as attacks on them and feel scared. The more intellectual thinkers have a better chance at understanding.

My best quick explanation is to tell someone that I have an auditory processing disorder due to a brain injury and that information coming in sometimes gets confusing and it overloads me, especially when it is a stressful situation.

I use this explanation on the phone to get people to slow down and talk in a more understandable way. I tell them that I can only process one concept at a time. If they try to tell me more, I will still only hear (remember) one of the concepts.

I carry a stack of notes in my wallet that say:
Please be patient with me. I suffer from a brain injury that causes me to over-react when confronted with shouting or someone barking orders. I respond by getting loud. Any assistance to help limit excessive auditory stimulation is helpful.
I hand the note to the person. They do not read it fully if I hold it for them to read.

I use this to get through airport security check points. It is a miracle worker. People in authority have all responded with understanding.

You will need to reword it to fit your particular symptoms. You may get words mixed up and sound drunk, or act confused, etc. It might say, If I am acting confused or over-reactive, take me to a quiet place to help me settle down. or Don;t yell at me, it just gets me confused and more over-reactive.

Just trying to explain verbally does not get much accommodation.

You might want to have a reference to your doctor with his phone number.

Good luck as you try to help others understand. Remember, those on this forum DO understand.

It just dawned on my after reading vini's comments.

I have a few concepts I relate to others that help them quickly understand.

One is very simple to explain but difficult for the others to full grasp.

I explain that I have almost no immediate or short term visual memory. I explain that:

When I was still driving, I could stop at a stop sign about to cross a busy street. I would look to the left and notice where the oncoming cars were. Then, I would look to the right and see where the oncoming cars were. But, I did not remember what I had JUST seen to the left. No recollection at all. Just gone from my mind.
Usually they understand but find it hard to believe.

Another example:

I used to be able to drive, listen to the radio, look at a map and eat at the same time. Now, as I ride as a passenger as my wife drives, I need her to stop the car and turn the radio off so I can read the map to give her directions. Sometimes, she even needs to turn the air conditioner off because it is making too much noise.

This is multi-tasking gone arai. A common problem with MTBI.

One problem is finding good care. There are maybe two-three people north of Copenhagen who have any experience with my condition and Iīm not sure they know what to do either since the official policy is to do nothing which means they have no training. One nurse is so adamant that itīs "only PTSD" that I feel like breaking down when I canīt get it through that cognitive exercise just doesn't yield any improvement. Canīt blame anybody for not seeing something that most of the time is completely invisible.