[Nik-key]

I am new to this new server, but have been a member here (braintalk) since 2000. I thought I would take a few moments to introduce myself and I hope you all will do the same

Where to start .....At the beginning I guess

At 14 I suffered severe pains in right side of face from temple to jaw.
I went to many dentist, and had 4 teeth removed.
This didn't help, and I was referred to a neurologist..
Diagnosed with TMJ.
Pain let up after about 8 to 9 months
I have also suffered from intense "migraines" all my life

In Jan 2000 I had the worse pains I have ever had to date
I thought I had a tumor and was going blind.. and sure I was going to die!
This started my roller coaster of Diagnoses
Stress
Migraines
MS
Lyme
Cluster headaches and on and on
As normal, pain got worse

March 2000 after seeing several Neurologists, I was Diagnosed with
TN with ATN tendencies.

May 8, 2000 I was put on disability. My doctors filled out most of my
paperwork.

Series of meds
Tegretol-allergic
Gabritril
Dilitan
baclofen
Amitriptyline
Depakote
Phenobarb
Neurontin
Lamictal
Methadone
Morphine
I am sure I am missing some...

I also try many other things to help
Acupressure
acupuncture
electric acupuncture
yoga
meditate
riaki
chiropractor
physical therapy
many herbal medicines
Pain clinics..
I even go to a Shaman
go on "journeys"
fire walks
and oh yea we can't forget my totem..
Turtles
So I buy a box turtle
I name her Mazie...you know hoping she will help me threw the maze of this disease. She didn’t help much but I sure did love her. She passed away last year….we now have 2 new box turtles, Scooter and Hitch.

Pain continues to get worse
PAIN ALL day Everyday...
Thinking of taking my life..

Aug. 9, 2000
Have MVD surgery
helped for about 5 weeks,
then back with a vengeance.
continue trying new meds,
and trying to just survive each day

Oct 2000
Now have TN on left side as well

Dec 5, 2000
Go to Rhode Island(I live in NH)
For my first of 3 Gamma Knife surgeries...
This can take up to 3 to 6 months to work.
It DIDN'T.

I continue to struggle everyday.
My MS "like" symptoms continue to get worse as well.
Pain on left as bad as right...
I am a prisoner to my pain..
I continue to seek new help....
new doctors... After much searching I find, and still have a wonderful team of doctors
By the grace of God I am still alive...

Another Gamma Knife surgery
Sept. 10th and 11th 2001
This time for both sides....
Failed as well.

All the surgeries and damage done to my nerves
Have left me with Anesthesia Dolorosa. I now have
This pain every day , 24 hours a day.
Wishing I never had the surgeries. But knowing if I had
It to do all over again, I would. We will do anything to try to
End the pain.

2004, I lost the only baby I was to have. She died , I never
got the chance to even hold her

My husband of 23 years, Lynn, is diagnosed with Alsheimer's Disease

In 05 out of the blue I developed Occipital neuralgia.
I am starting up another series of nerve blocks to the back of
My skull and neck at the end of this month.

My neurological issues with my arms and legs still flare, but to
date they have no name for what is causing the weakness,
numbness and tingles.

March 06, I have the first of many TIA (mini) Strokes.
These leave me partially and temporarily paralyzed for
extended periods of time, but I have always had good
recoveries, for this I am grateful!

Life is a battle. TN is a daily battle. Through the years, I have come
to accept my pain. I even now feel it is a gift. I have learned so much
from living with this pain, it has taken me places I am sure I never would
have gone, it has made me a better, more compassionate person.
So yes, it is a battle, but...........I have won the war!!

Peace on your journeys, Nikki