So I'm in TN hell tonight: have cut back my meds to almost nothing, as the surgeon wants me off as much as possible. We've been cutting back for about 2 weeks now.

I want to get the pliers out and yank all my teeth on the top left of my jaw.

oh god what if the surgery doesn't work????????????? I'm going to lose my mind.

I hear your pain but right now you need to focus on what you are about to do and try to do so in a positive manner, if its at all possible. There is no guarantee that the surgery will work, and if it doesn't, you can always go back on meds. If you try to focus on the pain, it may ease some of your suffering. I know this sounds crazy and it took me about a year to be able to do it myself, but it really does work and it can give you a break from it. I also suffer from type 1 and 2 TN and know what you're describing. If you have any meditation tapes or CD's, now is the time to pull them out. Do whatever you have to do to get through these next few days and try to stay focused on the present. I hope he doesn't want you to reduce your meds anymore over the next couple of days. If so, I think you should call his office tomorrow and tell him what this is doing to you. Hang in there and take care of yourself

Thanks EE03. I am feeling so alone tonight.

It just sometimes gets away from me. I'm usuaully pretty good at dealing with pain, but tonight it's making me nuts.

Since cutting back to almost nothing, my pain symptoms have been all over the map. Yesterday, in fact, I was second guessing the surgery altogether. I thought, "this isn't so bad, what are you complaining about?".

Then today hits, and BOOM it's off the scale.

I've been trying to use today as an example of why we need to do the MVD. I've been concerned since seeing the surgeon because he was so surprised at my combination of symptoms. "one of the most atypical combinations I've ever seen" or so he says, anyways. Frankly, reading these forums, mine seem no more or less atypical than a lot of you.

I guess I'm going through the usual pre-op anxiety. Having had a similar surgery 15 years ago, I have a pretty good idea of what my life will be like for the next little while. That is both a good and bad thing! Sometimes it's easier going in "blind".

I've had a cookie. And am going to bed with the furkids for a cuddle.

Thank you for listening. I really needed that!

Cat

No problem Cat, anytime. I know that if I ever decided to go for surgery, I'd be bouncing off the walls. Have they given you anything for anxiety? It might be something you could use right now and its just a thought. Ellena

Hi, I was reading your thread and have a few suggestions to help you temporarily. Go to www.emofree.com. You can learn this little technique called EFT. I use it when I am having a severe pain episode and it seems to work. I don't know if it just makes me stop freaking out or if tapping these spots really helps, but it is worth a try. Also, if you could try getting a massage (you might want to ask your doctor first). If money is an issue, call the local massage school and see what time they do public clinics. Normally, they cost significantly less and if they know what you are going through, may offer to do it for free. This may help you relax some. Trust me, I don't think any of these things will fix you, but might help you get through until Monday. I hope all goes well and I will be thinking of you.

Thank you Deb. I appreciate the link.

I have a spot on my cheekbone just below my eye, if I put pressure on it with the icepack, it helps a bit.

But sometimes it just gets away from me. Today the Monster isn't so noisy.

I am looking forward to a long weekend at home with husb and dogs + big roaring fire so it doesn't get much better than that. 1 more day of work too.

I'm going to bed. Haven't been sleeping much lately which I'm sure is adding to the problem!

CAT

The pain tonight is really bad.

My surgery has been moved to 8 a.m. on the 20th instead of the 19th. The neurosurgeon had 3 procedures booked that day, and I was #3 of 3. So he moved me to Tuesday to make sure we have the extra time he's anticipating he might need....

I am looking forward to a quiet, peaceful day at home.

If nothing else, the pain I've had this week is a bit of a blessing: it convinces me that this MUST get done. When I have days with 'tolerable' pain I second guess myself....

Night everybody (though I don't see many people on this forum these days: is that a sign that everyone is feeling good? Hope so)

CAT