New Diet~

> PURINA DIET
> I have a Labrador Retreiver. I was buying a large bag of Purina at
> Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. a woman behind me asked if I had
> a dog: (DUH!) On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and
> that
> I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
> because
> I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But that I'd lost 50 pounds
> before
> I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
> of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was
> essentially a
> perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants
> pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
>
> hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try
> it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
> was
> by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in
> intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I
> stepped
> off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
> laughing so hard!!!!

Hugs,
Billie

This is very funny!
ok
tell me...is this really true or just a joke?
either way it is very funny!
bizi

The true part is, someone did leave a Lab at my sale yesterday. It is still there, but No, me on a diet? Are you kidding? Loose 50 pounds. Not me. I recieve it in an e mail & just wanted to share.
Hugs.
Billie

oh billie,
I guess I was jsut imagining you making up this story cause she asked you if you had a dog....
lol
silly me....
bizi

Billie, Billie, Billie - I haven't heard that one in a long time but you had Bizi going. You two are so funny!

Nancy

Nancy, funny is the way to start the day! I have been so tired, everything is funny. Ever get that way? My sleeping has gotten so off track. I want to be up all night and sleep all afternoon. I gotta go back to the farm this morning. People are still getting stuff.
Take care,
BC

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
>^,,^< >^,,^< >^,,^< >^,,^<

Twas The Week After Christmas

'Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

BC

guess i should go take the dog food back huh?

hehehe i loved them both billie.

Curious, It might be a good idea UNLESS, you want to get sick. HEHEHE
_____
BC

Billie!
I loved this!! hehehe Not much time--I hafta run a bunch of errands in a different town, but I hafta tell you what I ACTUALLY said to a guy once.

He was an idiot, living with a woman who bought my house. I didn't think much of him anyway cuz he was on disability because of a bad back. My neighbors told me he carried in ALL of the furniture..... (I understand when you don't look like you have a disability, but.....)

I was in a long line, checking in for a doctor appointment. He was in a different one, finished with his, making a return appointment. I had just had foot surgery on both feet, so they were both wrapped in white surgical gauze (huge), with wires sticking out the ends, and in those lovely velcro strap shoes, and I was standing there with a cane. He says to me, in a loud voice "oh, did you hurt your feet?" Everyone looked at my feet. Now, you guys know me. I don't get embarrassed. I said back, without one bit of hesitation "no, my elbows" and looked the other way.

I was not in a good mood, and I probably should not have said it, but he pi$$ed me off because of how he was playing the system. People were trying to hide their laughter, but they couldn't. The man in back of me leaned down and said "good answer". People are stupid.

Anyway, true story.

His girlfriend is trying to sell the (MY) house for $30,000.00 more than what they paid for it. Needless to say, it is no longer in pristine condition as it was when I sold it. It has been on the market since last March. The neighbors are trying to talk me into buying it back. I said as a joke I should throw a bid in there $50,000.00 less than they bought it for from me and see what they'd do. I am such a brat, but it's SO much fun......

Gotta go.
Hugs,
Jan