hi biz,
reading some of your posts. i feel for you. i know how hard it is to stick to principles not for just 24 hrs but for days at a time.

try to be gentle with yourself. maybe pick ONE thing you would cut out instead of 4. or, to half the amt you drink. or, to stop the sneak drinking.

little steps at a time. and, the hardest thing is to just start. after you start it's easier.

not i'm the one to talk. because i have my own difficulties.
can i suggest too, that you go back a page or 2 of your thread & read your own posts. how do you feel?

best of luck. you can do it.

:Heart: :hug::hug::hug: :Heart: :)

thank you both!
I drank some vanilla coconut milk this morning, it was good!
also added a bit of coffee to it.
I woke up very early which is not normal for me, jeff is away and I don't sleep well when he is gone.
bizi

Bizi, I reckon that NurseNancy is totally right, especially about being gentle with yourself and taking little steps.

This is not about me but in the early days of dealing with my alcohol abuse I would quite often slip up and beat myself up because of that.

My clinical psychologist offered me wise thoughts about this; "Please don't be so tough on yourself. Remember that it is just a lapse, not a relapse. Keep going, you are doing well.".

I found that empowering and hope that you will as well.

:hug:

Thank you kiwi!
I am not trying to abstain, my goal is moderation which has not been going to well to be honest.
At least I am still committed to not drink and drive, not one sip!
bizi
better is better
It is trivia night so we shall see.

I really need to get serious about my weight.
This was my day:

3 cups of Coffee with half and half and liquid stevia.
Ate Brunch at a diner:
3 scrambled eggs with sauteed spinach and 1/4 cup of black bean salsa
with a side of brocolli
Dinner:
salmon and 3/4 cup edamame
4 of each at 12oz 6.5%alcohol beers.
I don't drink every day....
friday nights we played trivia in a bar at whole foods, I drank 3 pints of beer and ate a whole 12 inch pizza all by myself.....
the friday before that I just ate all of the toppings and left the crust so I know that I can do that. I just need to figure out how to not drink 3 pints of beer there. I think I would be shocked at how many carbs are in the beer that I drink. I need to research that so I know.
Mostly I need to get serious about dieting again and thinking about getting into better shape.
I have been strict with low carb before and have lost weight. I put on 20 pounds since november and I know it is because of eating and drinking.

Think that I need to get serious and commit to counting carbs.
August 1st monday is a new month great time to start.
wish me luck.
bizi

I just researched it and founders porter has:
216 calories and
22 grams of carbs!!!!
for one beer!
I knew it was high....
I had 875 calories and 88 grams of carbs of beer today!!!
sigh
bizi

I started to count carbs and got overwhelmed.
I wrote out what I ate :
3 cups of coffee with cream and stevia
Lunch: 8oz of fish with a little thai carrot sauce on top, cup of sauteed red cabbage, cup of steamed brocolli.
dinner: 8oz bone-in pork chop grilled in grape seed oil, cup of green beans. snack: 28 almonds, 1 dark chocolate truffle.
I could easily get hypo trying to document each bite I took and just forget about trying to calorie count!
I am already spending a great deal of time on the computer.
I pretty much know what foods have what in them so I will just try to eat clean and avoid simple carbs. Eat as many veggies as possible, protein with every meal. (I only eat 2 meals a day, with a snack in the evening)
Choice for desert to night:
apple or lindt Dark chocolate truffle (blue ball one).
The truffle only has 5 carbs so it won!

Jeff just asked me if I wanted to go get a beer at whole foods.
(his beer has 400 calories)
I told him no hesitantly.
I did not tell him that I have started this diet.
I am hoping that I will be able to stick to it this week, until we go to the beach on the 12th.
That gives me 11 days to try to be good.

Bizi, I agree with you about not counting calories. I reckon that you are eating really well - a mixture of protein, a range of veggies and nuts (they are great as a snack - good for healthy fats, proteins, minerals and dietary fibre - I often snack on cashews or almonds).

Well done :).

Thanks kiwi I appreciate you and your support.
bizi

155.5 this morning.
Abstain a couple of days and the first couple of pounds, water weight, goes away.
bizi

hi biz,
now i should be the one to talk. i'm better at giving advice than taking my own.

but...what if you looked at things from a portion control aspect, instead of cutting things out you can cut down. that way you're not deprived.

doing a food journal is a great way to hold yourself accountable.
i know how hard it all is. but, don't give up. be gentle with yourself.

hi nancy,
thank you for reading and for your support.
I already follow a lowerish carb diet, mostly it is the alcohol that i need to keep in check.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Wednesday: I ate at a BBQ place for lunch. Had spinach stuffed beef brisket, a large portion, there was a large amount of fat on it...just could not bring myself to eat it! so I cut Some of it off.
I also had a salad with italian dressing. For dinner: Indian food. curried collards, turkey beef meatball and spicy chicken salad. all had sauces which were delicious.
I was full for the rest of the day. This dinner was off the whole foods food bar and I looked at the ingredient list for everything looked harmless. I did not snack in the evening so that was good. I chew gum with xyletol thru out the day.

I weigh 156.5 pounds this morning
with an abdominal measurement of 37.25 inches.
Anything over 35 inches for a woman is considered at risk for heart disease.
have a good day yall!
bizi

I will try to stay good on my diet until august 12th when we go to the beach, for a couple of nights. Pensecola is so much fun. One week from tomorrow!
I have been good even picked out potatoes from the veggie mousaka that I ate today for lunch which was delicious! It has egg plant in it.
I ate my whole foods dinner tonight in the bar and was not even tempted to have a beer. I will be going there as usual on friday nights for trivia. I won't drink because I am dieting and abstaining from alcohol. Plus I don't drink and drive any more and hubby is still away.
Spent some time with a girl friend. Listened to some music and talked, walked around a bit. It was hot but got cooler as the sun went down. Fortunately the mosquitos were not out.
bizi

158 this morning so that is one pound loss in 5 days. 4 sticks of butter.
I have been eating pretty salty foods so maybe that is why I have not lost the water weight like I thought, since I am not drinking.
Tonight is trivia night and I am not going to drink like usual.
will have the hamburger with out the bun and a side of salad.
Have a good day!
bizi

I think I will have to diet for the rest of my life, I keep yo yoing which is very bad from what I understand.
Jeff gets back on tuesday...I have been on the computer for hours! I bought some ready made food from sandras health food store: chicken salad, veggie soup, quinoa soup, tabouli salad, lentil rice which is a high carb food though that I love!
I survived trivia drinking only water. and eating fairly healthy too. so that was good. Fun but we were horrible!
One of my 88 year old clients who lives on the street behind us. Had all four tires and rims stolen off her car on last sunday. The car was on blocks when I saw her yesterday. Can't believed that happened. She has a malibu with fancy rims(why I don't know), $2,200 for them to be replaced. They are looking for replacements. My husband has fancy rims and now I worry that I will come out to the same thing on his car. Maybe we should convert our car port to a garage???? Our neighbor hood is one of the safest neighborhoods (from what police told me months ago when our neighbors moved because their cars kept getting broken into them, they left their doors unlocked though. same thing happened to my car several years ago. I just make sure my car door is locked every night now.
Obviously there is crime everywhere.
I work today so that is good.
Am going to meet a friend at planet fitness tonight, show her around, hoping that she joins so that I can have a walk buddy.
She too has sleep issues and can't seem to find the right medication to help her sleep.
I feel so sorry for people who can't get enough sleep.
I need to do laundry tomorrow and maybe I will clean a little.
The house is full of cat hair and my bath room floor is sticky again.
I hope yall have a good weekend.
bizi

Had a client cancel this afternoon because she is sick, she will call me to reschedule when she is feeling better. She was to be a new client.
So that means I have a 2 hour window of time to do my laundry.
Get that out of the way today instead of tomorrow.
Other than brunch at the diner that jeff and I frequent, tomorrow I don't have any plans. I will have to face cleaning my house or working on the yard....there is no excuse to keep me from doing some work around the house even though I avoid it like the plague.
I have a client at 3 and then 4;30 for a friend of mine.
My friend has been being treated for cancer for a year now I think....Her cancer has had a turn of events. She is on a feeding tube now.
Today is her birthday and her husband contacted me to come to the hospital to give her a pedicure. So I will go around 4:30 since her feedings are continuous and meal time is not an issue.
AT 2pm He has arranged to have some other friends of hers to play flute for her...That is her instrument...she will have time to rest before I get there. They are well respected in the community and are lovely people have a wonderfully full family who have been so supportive. She has been hospitalized since july 19th which I was unaware of until today.
There are many happy birthday wishes on facebook today for her.
I am not going to charge them for my services because she is a friend and because I believe it is time for hospice and I volunteer for hospice patients.
I will have plenty of time to comfort and pamper her before running home for a bite to eat and then meeting stephanie at 7pm at planet fitness.
It will be hard because she is a friend.....

The cats are doing ok on their new food and limited amounts. Hazel finished her bowl last night early before I went to bed so I added some more to her dish but not to hatties. Hattie is the one on the diet not hazel who is very petite and thin, I have not given them any treats and they don't seem to mind...hattie only cried a couple of times. Jeff feeds hattie too many treats and I am not sure if he can get away with not giving in when he gets home. They are such creatures of routine. Treat time was twice a day, hattie would cry and wake us up early in the morning begging for treats. They have been silent for the most part since jeff has been away.
They are really his cats.
Our regular pet sitter will be on vacation next weekend so will be unable to take care of the cats so I asked my friend stephanie if she would be able to do that and she said yes. I insisted that I pay her...it is a lot to ask some one to come twice a day.
One load in the washer, one load drying. one hour left before my next appointment...think I timed it right. All I have to do is hang my scrubs up and not iron them! Have saved alot on dry cleaning bills since last november...that is when I bought these new scrubs at my lowest weight.
So now they are all too tight. Sigh
I will properly fit into them in time.
bizi
_________

I just got back from planet fitness and walked on the tred mill for
5K(3.1 miles) first time in a while. I was jogging a year ago and injured my thigh so I stopped. I actually jogged a 10k in november that about killed me I was not prepared for it, I hurt for days afterward.
I met my girl friend and we talked and walked, it was great. She is thinking about joining. Though she has another place to check out which offers more things for her like classes, yoga and has a pool to swim. But costs more....
I hope she joins Planet fitness but that is being selfish of me.
I WANT A WALKING BUDDY!http://forums.psychcentral.com/image...es/biggrin.gif
bizi

Just to be real I measured my self.
I will put down measurements from october of last year and then this morning

Body part measured:.........
Oct 2015.......August 2016
right upper arm..................
11.................12.5
butt........................
............
38.25............41.25
calf........................
............
14.25............14.5
2" above belly button.........
27.5..............30.75
hips........................
............
36.5..............39.75
breasts.....................
..........
35.5..............37
weight......................
..........
140...............156.5
upper thigh........................
22.5..............25
2" below belly button..........
31.5..............37.5 (6 inch gain!)

time to get to work!
bizi
I tried real hard to make columns but alas it comes out like this.
You get the drift though, inches gained in all areas!

155 this am. down 4 pounds since august 1st. That is some water weight but has to be some fat too???:rolleyes:
bizi

162.5 highest weight in years!!!!:eek:

158 this am.
bizi

I think I eat pretty well, but all of the beer was terrible for my waist line.
Although I did have some gluten free veggie lasagna with rice noodles yesterday for lunch, which was delicious!

I am just trying to cut back on carbs, mostly beer! I had 3 large bloody marys last night and could not sleep....sigh about a cup of vodka=6 shots.

dinner last night was red curry talapia with califlower and green onions in coconut milk. it was very good, hubby liked it.
snacked on some almonds later.
Looking at recipes for tonight....
aluminum foil chicken and veggies which I got off the salad bar at whole foods.
spiral zuchini, yellow squash, shredded mixed carrots, mushrooms, some shredded butternut squash and green onions and a few colorful roasted peppers.
using grape seed oil and dijon mustard should be good.
bizi

I already took 2 pork chops out of the freezer, they run about $1.30 a chop.
Sunday night I am going to get the purple cabbage and carrots with some coconut oil, not sure of spices to use. I am a terrible cook.
Saturday I have wild caught salmon, 4oz filets at $3.75 a piece.
I just bought 4 pounds of florida sustainably raised talapia.it will be 16 meals. $2.50 each meal.
Friday night we will go to whole foods and eat off their salad bar and play trivia in the bar. It is always fun!
I am only buying organic fruits and veggies.
I eat at a health food store every day for lunch.
It is almost a sickness now....my food costs are out the window. http://assets3.sparkpeople.com/asset...icons/e198.gif
grass fed beef, eggs, dairy. I should learn how to grow my own veggies. They are so expensive!
I have to find a way to get a handle on our food costs.
and Am trying to follow a lower carb diet.
bizi
p.s. I think that I am a bit hypo about it right now

my meals have been costing $5-10 dollars per person.
157.5 this morning but am cycling right now so that should go down in about a week.
Going to play trivia tonight...might drink water and eat off the salad/hot bar for dinner. We do have some left over curried lentil/califlower shrimp from last night, which was very good. I love prepackaged simmering sauces! They make cooking so quick and easy!
1 pound of local gulf Shrimp=$6.50
2 cups of organic roasted Califlower and red onions=$5.50
curry simmering lentil sauce=$3.50
4 servings=$3.85 per serving, plus an $.80 avocado.
So that was very good!
bizi

yum biz,

you live close enuf to me that you could come to my house and cook me dinner. :)

were you effected by the hurricane?
bizi

156 this morning some of the belly bloat is going down!!!!!
bizi

not really. we got some wind and rain for a few days. no damage. lucky.

keep up the good work.

155 this am my belly is definately going down, belly bloat was awful. I had gained 6 inches in my belly from 11-1-2015 to just lately.
I should measure to prove to my self that it s going down Think I will do that right now.
bizi
lost an inch and a half!!!

wow, great progress.

157.5 too much eating and drinking this weekend!
bizi

i should never be the one to talk advice as i'm doing awful with my weight.
but...something that's helped me in the past was to visualize my goal.
thinking about the finished goal can be better than agonizing over little steps up and down. :)

biz, how are you?
i hope you're ok. havn't seen you in a while.

:hug: judy

hi nancy.
thanks for your note.
I post mainly on the bipolar forums for more up to date info.
my dieting has hit the rock bottom.
I am eating and drinking like a fish.
terrible! can't seem to stop.
have a problem really.
how are you?
bizi

i wish i could take my own advice.
but, try to be gentle with yourself. one thing at a time.

me? after talking to another MS friend she suggested i might be depressed.
i know what depression is and i'm not that kind of depressed but i have no motivation to do anything. my diet is also on the skids. i've probably gained at least 20# in 6 yrs, the highest i've ever been.

even tho i've gotten my A1C down from 10 to 8 my sugars are still not controlled. i take 2 types of insulin. physically i'm in terrible shape. i saw my pcp and we changed my anti depressant which i have done from time to time.
it's been a wk and i feel a bit better.

anyway. thanks for asking. i appreciate it.

With your blood sugars that high no wonder you don't feel well.
What about a sliding scale before meals? With some lantus?
do you see an endocrinologist?
I hope your new antidepressant helps, it can take a while to really kick in.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Well I went to my old grocery store and bought a stuffed pork roast. IT has msg and other artificial ingredients in it....but I have used this in the past and saved money making a couple of meals with one roast. I added organic peppers (I could not use the canned green beans though)and coconut milk and used evil cream of mushroom soup. Why must I think it is evil????? I put it in the crock pot and it will cook all day.
I need to un brain wash myself.

sigh
I swear it is a sickness.....

got up early could not get back to sleep after a bathroom break at 5 ;30am.
made some coffee. Need to take a shower, have coconut oil in my hair to ensure that happening, that trick works well.
Am going with jeff to speak with his retirement folks. He has not had a meeting with them in 10 years, doesn't know how they are performing.
The meeting is at 8;30am so I have plenty of time to shower and dress etc.
bizi

0830 and you have plenty of time????
i don't even get up before 0800.

yes biz. i'm a sliding scale 3 times/day. short acting insulin. at nite i do take lantus. i am seeing an endocrinologist. have an appt next month with his diabetic educator so maybe i can get on track.

it's a little harder as i usually don't cook. can't stand that long. my back starts to hurt too.

that roast sounds great. enjoy.