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Old 09-14-2014, 12:53 PM   #171
waves
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Hi Ginnie,

Thanks for the well-wishes on life. Yes, life is a crapshoot... I can only hope it takes a turn for the better. I am not working at the moment. And no, I cannot do art at all where I am at. I do not have the space. I do not even have my own room. I live with my parents in an apartment suitable for one person, or at best a pair of young newlyweds. It's a tight fit already, without having me splay out beading stuff, or other crafty things. I've been forbidden to paint my nails, much less use oils. Last time I tried to do some pastels, I got yelled at coz of the colored powder.... even though I papered the table before doing it. I can't play guitar/sing much either because someone else is often sleeping, or the tv is in use.

I wish I felt at peace here too. I've tried. Maybe I will some day, or maybe I will manage to crawl out of here, even if it's just to England or something. I do kind of miss the islands sometimes too. I think there's something about a place when you you have memories of being small and safe, that make it feel ok. I used to come to Europe on vacation almost yearly when I was small. I have a clear memory, compound memories really, of flying back into the islands, seeing the actual islands edged in turquoise, and then green, and then all the bent-over palm trees edging the runway, and feel a wave of relief.

I may be travelling soon, just as a tourist. We will se how it goes.


Quote:
Yeh I screwed up the same ankle that had problems before. Well I will see what happens. It happened, I am stuck with it, so I am going to try like heck to get better there too. Black and blue, green and purple are weird colors for an ankle. I won't let much stop me from having this life that is new and wonderful.
You are truly an inspiration.

I'm really sorry about your ankle. How is it now? Do you think it needs to be seen?

It sounds like it got really bruised... might take a few weeks to clear up, it sounds quite bad. Ice might help if it's still swollen as well as technicolored. I hope it isn't anything more than bruising. Ankles are so delicate, like wrists. It's amazing we can put all our weight on them and not hurt them most of the time.

I am so glad your arm is responding to this therapy. I keep you in my thoughts, hoping that it heals up completely.



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Old 09-14-2014, 06:01 PM   #172
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The only inspiration I can offer is to tell everyone to stay off ladders!!!!! Why the heck I still thought I could do it with a messed up arm, kinda tells me on that day my minds might have gone a bit round the bend.
Ankle will take time. My son in an OPT and is looking at me daily. No doc. yet as he really just thinks I sprained it. I will be OK waves, and I am done with ladders.
Wish you could find a spot of peace where you are. I want things to get better for you too. You should be able to sing your heart out. WE all need some small pleasures just for ourselves for our heads!
Change even if you wanted to go to the Islands, or England, or like me moving, and not certain of where I will be.... all of it is hard to do. Change is hard. I hate getting older and knowing for sure I can't be alone, not really. My joints just arn't good.
I do have this crazy new friend, who thinks he wants to be the one to give the hand up in life. I think all of us need a hand up in life at times. Bizi can tell you the froggie is cute! Got more beads on him now. Also working on a traditional African Tribal Mask. This is what helps keep my sanity, or what little of it I have left Take care waves, ginnie
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Old 09-14-2014, 09:25 PM   #173
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the frog is cute, her work is beautiful and very colorful!
I am so glad that your son is there to help you.
(((((HUGS))))))
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Old 09-19-2014, 09:40 AM   #174
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I made it to the gym again last night!!
Walked a 5 K in a little over an hour.
I am feeling good this morning.
146.5 this morning. happy about this, it has taken me 6 months to get back to this weight. Geesh so easy to gain weight and hard to take it off. I think I will work hard to not regain my weight this time. I am such a yo yoer dieter. Being alcohol free is really making a difference.
Up then down. It wasn't that long ago that I weighed 139.5, I can be there again I believe in 2 more months.
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Old 09-21-2014, 09:05 PM   #175
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Saturday:
Up at 7am...wanted to read the newspapers...4 of them.WE don't normally get 2 newspapers, one of them is trying to sell us their paper...one month free, they just pile up. (I walked outside in my jammies to pick 2 of them up)That took me 3 1/2 hours to read them and 3 cups of coffee later. Got dressed folded a load of clothes and off to an early lunch. a small bowl of chicken and sausage gumbo and a bowl of cabbage with sauce that I like, a remulaude. Ran by the eye glass place to have new nose pieces put on...mine had cracked! and they are only 6 months old! Stopped by the bank to see if I could use my debit card to pay my credit card bill. She explained that my bank would call that a cash advance and would charge me for that, so I will wait and just take in a check this week.
Just enough time to go to the aveda beauty school to get my hair colored for a one oclock appointment.
My hair used to be red for many years then I went dark brown, which is starting to look black so my friends and clients tell me. So I decided I wanted to lighten it up and add some violet to it. So the instructor helped the student come up with a formula and when it was all said and done.... my hair looks red. I asked about that? She said that violet is red and blue, my hair picked up the red more.
I like it!
I then went to the gym and walked on the tred mill another 5 K...3.2 miles in 55 minutes. I have not been bringing a gym bag for these walks just come home after wards and shower if I need to. There is a little locker that I can lock up my purse.
Today I wanted to shower quickly and not mess up my hair. So I just stripped and took a quick shower and got redressed in lickitty split time.
It was 5pm and I was feeling good...thinking about Jeff, he was going fishing with a friend. I was feeling hungry and craving a cider and thought that I might go home and walk 2 blocks down the street to our local pub(Brewskis) for a couple of ciders. But I had called my sweetie to see if he had gotten off with his friend. He usually leaves me a little note, he did not so I complained a little when I rang him on his cell phone.
I told him I might go down to brewskis for a while. He said that was fine.
I decided to have the left over veggie beef soup before going....
But the more I thought about it the more I decided to not go. I am doing really well on this diet and drinking doesn't fit into the equation. I ended up making myself a big smoothie, kale, pineapple, blueberries, protein powder and maca powder, it took along time to blend up because the pineapple was in big frozen chunks, finally it got all blended and it was very good and filling. I am very full and satisfied.
Bar averted!
yeah!
It is dark already and not even 7:30. wow!
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This is harriet, my sweet baby girl.....
heavy sigh.....
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Happiness is a decision....
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Old 09-21-2014, 09:06 PM   #176
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I read the paper this morning had a cup of coffee.
went to brunch with hubby. Had 2 scrambled eggs with spinach and a side of brocolli and a cup of fresh mixed fruit.
I scrubbed the kitchen floor and part of the back door area and then shook out some dusty rugs. took about an hour. Finished my charting and filing. I still have some billing to do....jeff swept about 2/3rds of the house. He has been sneezing alot lately.
I went to the hazelden chat room and talked a bit about my internet addiction.
no real help there....they were nice....
oh well
sigh
Jeff has a gig tonight. Wore his new suit, look terrific on him!
I made a good dinner for myself.
7 oz of chicken with 3 Tbs chimichurri sauce:
It is an argentinean sauce that has garlic, parsley, soybean oil, spices.
It was very good! Then I steamed at least 2cups of brocolli and 1/3 of a red bell pepper. I had a nectarine for desert it was juicy!
Very healthy and filling. I normally don't eat that much veggies. I kind of got carried away when I was chopping it up! I still have another big stalk to use soon.
I also have asparagus to eat and a yellow squash.
Veggies get lost in the cooler and then they go to waste. Which is a shame! I am trying hard to eat my fresh veggies.
WE have a whole foods store opening up this week! yeah!
Looking forward to better produce hopefully, more organic fruits and veggies! But I hear it is expensive, we shall see.
need to find something else to do beside being on this computer!
At least I am not drinking!
bizi


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This is harriet, my sweet baby girl.....
heavy sigh.....
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Happiness is a decision....
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Old 09-28-2014, 11:07 PM   #177
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Got up late 1030 and had a cup of coffee.
Brunch consisted of 3 scrambled eggs with spinach and a side of black bean salsa that I dumped on top...it was delicious! a side of brocolli and a cup of fresh fruit, (bananas, cantelope, grapes, and pinapple). yum!
WE ran several errands that took forever. Picked up my print that we finally had framed it is beautiful!
I went to the gym and walked 10K on the tred mile...6.4 miles for 110 minutes at 3.5 mph.
That is the first time I have ever walked that much.
I am very proud of myself.
Came home and cooked turkey spagetti using spagetti squash. it was good!
Did a little paper work and got on the computer for a bit. Will probably watch an episode of downton abby before turning in.
great day!
bizi
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This is harriet, my sweet baby girl.....
heavy sigh.....
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Happiness is a decision....
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Old 10-04-2014, 09:07 PM   #178
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WE ate lunch early because I had to work today. Had chicken and sausage gumbo and a bowl of cabbage that I make slaw with a remulaude sauce. Later had an apple.
I saw 2 sweet demented clients new to me. Both of them really needed their toe nails trimmed and she let me paint her toenails at the age of 92. Love it!

I did it! I was able to walk OUT SIDE on a track at the gym 7 miles
in 2 hours!!!! It was not that hard...It was a beautiful day perfect weather 70's and low humidity. I did not even sweat so I know that I could do more. When I was using the incline on the tred mill I broke out in sweat so I was getting a better work out. The track was 5 laps to a mile which was doable keeping track. But it was boring. Now that I know that I can do it I will go back to the tred mill where I can at least watch tv instead of having to keep track of my laps.
Even though I drank too much last night I was sure to drink enough fluids (I made a power smoothie) I did not have a hang over this morning which was great!
Chicken salad for dinner! yum
I should sleep well tonight!
bizi
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This is harriet, my sweet baby girl.....
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Happiness is a decision....
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Old 10-05-2014, 05:08 AM   #179
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six miles!! seven miles!!? geez, Bizi that's great!!

I'm down to 351, and cant wait to see the other side of 350 and get as far away from 410 as possible!!!!

Although I'm not eating nearly as healthy as you and if I did one fifth of the walking I'd drop a lot faster. you make me want to go outside right now and walk and your eating inspires me to do better.

weight loss surgeon said only two percent of people who are 400 see the 200's again and stay there. To this ex boxer that is a challenge I can't resist. I just can't reconcile cutting up a perfectly good intestine and stomach. no offense to anyone who's had it done.

I can't fix my brain injury. but we must fix what is in our control!!

Go Bizi!!
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Old 10-05-2014, 11:54 AM   #180
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Thanks Mark your note is really sweet. and congratulations on your weight loss that must feel great! I wish you much luck in this weight loss journey. just start walking, causually in the neighborhood walk a block or two just start each day do more. walk with your sweetie, good for your relationship. the distraction will be good for your metal health even if it just a few minutes to start.
It took me a few weeks to build up to 7 miles, it is not easy but I have a goal in mind...now to think about using the stair masters at the gym to think about walking up and down stairs in new york next august.
work a different set of muscles.
I am not exercising to lose weight. decreasing our food intack is really the only way to lose weight, excersing is to get in better shape and be stronger, improve our hearts and endurance. it is discouraging to look at the calorie counter and see that after walking an hour I have burned the equivalent of one glass of orange juice. lol so I will stop entering my weight so it won't calculate that any more. And I don't drink any juices!
bizi thanks for writing again! You are doing great!
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This is harriet, my sweet baby girl.....
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Happiness is a decision....
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