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08-01-2007, 12:49 PM | #1 | |||
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF.....
1. You think crosswalks are for wimps 2. You think if someones nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost 3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds 4. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak english 5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you 6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can 7. The transportation system is known as the "T" 8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house 9. Subway is a fast food place 10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house 11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino" you know what they're talking about and believe it too 12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy 13. If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names 14. Someone has honked at you because you didnt peel out the second the light turned green 15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green 16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving 17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to 18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting 19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definately a "heat wave" 63 degrees is "on the warm side" 20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie, if you don't have it then you're never going to get it even if you were born here 21. At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies" 22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last 23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow 24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit 25. You know what they sell at a "packie" 26. You have never been to cheers 27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgator 28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King 29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round 30. You know at least three Tony's one Vinnie, and a Frank 31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS 32. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left 33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop 34. You know what "regular coffee" is 35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem 36. You have been to Fenway Park 37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the devil 38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you 39. When someone calls you a "masshole" you take it as a compliment 40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence 41. You know what a frappe is 42. Saint Patrticks Day is your second favorite holiday 43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you 44. You never say "Cape Cod" you say "the cape" 45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school 46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day 47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters 48. You know the Mass Pike and 128 are some strange weather dividing lines 49. You almost feel dissapointed when someone doesnt flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space 50. You've gone from I-95 South to I-93 North by driving in a straight line and never changing direction. 51. You understand everything just said and passed it on to other massholes
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. Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must. -- Goethe Diagnoses: FM, Sciatica, Rosacea, Piriformis Syndrome, SI joint disfunction, Joint Facet Syndrome L3-L5, Pinched Nerve (somewhere on the left side), Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar II . |
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08-01-2007, 05:11 PM | #2 | ||
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OMG!!! This is all true here in RI, too--in fact, I'd say all over New England! Hysterically funny!! Thanks for it.
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08-01-2007, 05:42 PM | #3 | ||
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Yappiest Elder Member
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You Know You're From Texas If:
1. You measure distance in hours. (like Lubbock is 8 hours from Houston - who knows how many miles it is) 2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. 4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies. 5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year. 6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store. 7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. 8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 9. You carry jumper cables in your car ..for your OWN car. 10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. 11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. 13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. 14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.(high school football is of utmost importance) 15. You think that the first day of deer, duck, dove, or quail season are State holidays. 16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. 17. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm." 18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas. 19. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth. 20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. 21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World." 22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. 23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. 24. You understood and laughed at these jokes.
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08-02-2007, 08:10 AM | #4 | ||
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I have never set foot in TX, and I laughed my @$$ off at this!
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