The other thing to consider...
 

...is the spouse and his interaction with the grown child. It seems that men have a different, stronger perspective on things, as least with boys. You know, the old, "mama's boy" thing. My husband loves me and is the step-dad in this situation. He has had to put up with a lot, believe me. But I still feel deep down that I'm always making a choice and that I cannot do. My relationship is different for each one of them.

But my husband is my partner forever and he has had it and has put his foot down: my son cannot come back home. And, we are not going to wait around to see what his Christmas plans are, we are going to Utah to see the other kids. Is this the best plan for all???

nancy-h

Nancy~
 

Do what you feel is best in your situation. My hubby gave up on our son a long time ago. At first, I told him I couldn't live with it, but later I began seeing things from his point of view. You will have to come to an agreement with your husband.

I think it is nice for you to go to the other kids homes. Ths son probably won't be there anyway. Our's miss one year by choice and never got to come home again.


Sometime's you have to make a life without them in it. It is sad! I send mine money for Christmas and Birthday and thats all, except for letter for support.
_________
BC:) http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j1...TreesGlit3.gif

I would say you and Mike need to be together on whatever decision is made. "Kids" no matter what age love to play one parent against the other. They get real good at it sometimes.

Personally Nance, I would say tell Chris what you and Mike have planned, then do it. He is not 15 and dependent on you. There comes a time when you just can't take any more, and I think you are there honey. I was there too. You either have to let go, or go crazy.

Your pain levels have been sky high lately, and this, if not THE reason, is the main contributor. It's not easy sweetie, I know, but for your own good, your marriage, and maybe Chris's good too, it might be worth a shot?

Nance, I sure as He!! don't have any answers, but I know how you feel right now cuz I've been there, and still kinda am. There are a lot of tears shed and prayers said.

As for your Christmas plans, I think you are right on by informing Chris of your intentions, then go and have a great time! Just my opinion. What does everyone else think?
Hugs,
LS

the absolute best thing you can do, is live YOUR life. kids tend to forget that mom and dad have life. they think we go sit in a corner after they leave the room or house. :rolleyes:

go to utah. do not let hm steal your joy.

i haven't seen grandmonkeys mother in 2 years. christmas day 2 years ago she was here for a few hours. last time he saw her either.

you will never stop caring or loving him. in time you will grow strong enough to see the situation from the outside. that is hard now..you see your baby making some choices that may end being bad. you can offer him emotional support..love...but not a "fix" for his problem. your husband is right.

hon...i will reply more...and read the replies more indepth...but this idiot monkey..she done really did herself in today.:o 2 christmas trees....up and down the stairs all day. in and out of the attic. so...i can't sit here very long. :o

Hi guys~
I was supposed to give you the good news this morning, but have been busy. Had Hailey overnight, and gobs of other stuff to do, that I didn't get online till now.

NANCY DOESN'T HAVE MS!! YAY!!!!!!

That's excellent news! We were dreading that, but I said not to panic till the results were in. We all do though, don't we?? WHEW!!!

Nance has a bunch of more doctor appointments today to go to, so she'll be ragged out when she gets home, so I'm not sure when she'll be able to update us on what exactly they said, but, the main thing is it is NOT MS.

When you feel up to it honey, fill us in, k? Love you!
Hugs,
LS

I'm so glad Nance doesn't has MS...thanks for telling us janster.

I'm glad to hear that Nancy doesn't have MS.

Nancy, I wish I could help you with the other thing but i don't have children so I haven't a clue what to say.

befuddled2

YIPPEE!!
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what good news!!! thank you for telling us jan.

thank you for the great news!!!!
Now if they could just figure out what is wrong with you....at least it isn't MS.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

So glad to hear the good news~
 

Nancy, have they been able to tell you what it is then? I hope you hear good news soon. I am praying for you. Give us an update when you are up to it, ok.
__________
BC:)


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