NeuroTalk Support Groups - MRI & other Updates--This means YOU Nancy!!

Sometimes gals we get so wrapped up in our own lives we forget that others need us too. Nancy I want to apologize for being so out of sync lately. I should have been here if only to say that I know what you are feeling inside right now. That things will start to fall into place in your life Sweetie. Sometimes that seems like an impossible feat when the kids wreak havoc in our lives but things will get better.

As all of you know I have recently gone through a VERY trying time with my son, Jamie and all of their bull. It almost put me over the edge. It really did. I don't have all of the answers Nancy. I wish I knew them. Like Jan said though. You do have to break the ties. If for no reason, for your health. My doctor told me that I needed to consider some life changes for months now. I have finally started listening somewhat. I am one that always thought thinking about me first was selfish. But ya know what?? He is right! It isn't! Not when your health is compromised! And mine has been because I stay so stressed out over all of this.

Since my son was small he has given me much grief. At 7 he stole money off of a teachers desk, At 13 he got arrested for stealing wine from a local Winn Dixie, He has been in and out of jail (and prison this last time). All from stupidity. Wanting to act "BIG" in front of all of his "FRIENDS" ! I lay awake many nights worrying and crying and asking what I was doing so wrong. I started talking to other parents and low and behold I found out I wasn't alone after all! Other parents were going through it to! Yes I felt better knowing that maybe I wasn't this horrible monster Mom my son always said I was. But how did I get through to him?? Well I never did! He is now 29 and lives with an 18 year old he controls, has no job right now, no license, no car, and blames everyone for it. Still the same as he was when he was small, only in a bigger body!! He left home at 15 because he hated me and the rules I set. He even blames me for that!! The sad thing was he drug his baby sister right down the same road with him. She called me and left a message telling me I was a "repulsive *****" because I kicked my son out after the recent fiasco! So now I am alienated from her as well. By my own choice Nancy!

My son loves me in his own wacky way. I know that. But he has no respect, no direction. He wants to take the easy way out and blame me for all of his faults and wrong doings. He doesn't take care of his 2 boys, both have different Moms and the youngest he rarely see's at all! I worked 2 jobs at times to feed mine. To me there is no excuse for it. He wants to butt in my life and do the disruptive things he does and thinks I am sorry when I don't leave who I am with. So after this last mess I told him to stay out of my life. If he starts I just tell him not to call until he can stop doing it. I don't speak to my youngest daughter after what she called me. This is not the first time. They both have been into drugs at some point and raise my Grandchildren around all of that and what goes with it and want to tell me how sorry I am because I make them stand on their own feet. I had to and I survived it. Now they need to because Mom has cut them off!! And guess who feels better?? Yes! As many years of this I took and took from them, I finally realized I have my own life. I am 50! My life is going on the down side now ya know. I don't intend to live it for kids that can't appreciate the struggles I have had to go through to keep food in their bellies and clothes on their backs and sit at hospitals with and all that goes with being a sorry Mom! Its funny how my oldest daughter works for the Post Office, went 2 years of college, visits me just for a visit and takes me out when she does come so I don't have to cook, and is a good all round kid and has always been, yet those 2 are a mess. They took after their Dad although they were never raised with him. He is an alcoholic, liar and cheat, and hit me every chance he could like my son does his girlfriends. So sometimes it is in the genes I found out and Nancy no matter what there is nothing we can do. So our hearts break and we torment ourselves not realizing the battle we fight is already lost before it began.

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP! tHEY DON'T! yOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO A LIFE WITH YOUR HUSBAND THAT OBVIOUSLY ADORES YOU!! GO SEE YOUR OTHER KIDS. WHATEVER YOUR SON DOES IS ALL HIM. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT. HE IS CHOOSING HIS LIFE'S PATH. YOU TAUGHT HIM ALL YOU COULD. YOU DID YOUR PART. NOW LET HIM LEARN TO DO HIS PART! IF YOU WERE TO LOSE YOUR HUSBAND WHERE WOULD YOUR SON BE STANDING? HE WOULD BE OUT DOING HIS OWN THING NOT WANTING YOU INTERFERING IN HIS LIFE. SO THINK ABOUT IT SWEETIE. BILLIE KNOWS WHAT I AM SAYING HERE I AM SURE.

I am sorry for this being so long. I hope one thing I have said helps you to see that our kids make their own choices. Hurt us as they may, they can't hold us accountable for what they chose. They are adults just like we are. It has nothing to do with whether we love them because we do. But we have our right to peace too. I am so happy to hear there is no MS by the way.....See! Things are looking better already!! :)