Women's Health For women's health topics.


advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-29-2007, 02:33 PM #1
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default The Invisible Woman

It started to happen gradually .
One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was
holding his hand and we were about to cross the
street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is
that with you, young fella?"

"Nobody," he shrugged.

Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is
only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh
my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I
would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV
down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody
would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I
would stand there for a minute, and then I would say
again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV
down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a
party. We'd been there for about three hours and I
was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a
friend from work. So I walked over, and when there
was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm
ready to go when you are." He just kept right on
talking.

I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the
lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk
into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you
see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see
if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the
floor, or even standing on my head in the corner,
because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more:
Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open
this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a
human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?"
I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the
Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around
5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that onc e
held books and the eyes that studied history and the
mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they
had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be
seen again.

She's going¸ she's going¸ she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner,
celebrating the return of a friend from England.
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip,
and she was going on and on about the hotel she
stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at
the others all put together so well. It was hard not
to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked
down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing
I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was
pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could
actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling
pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought
you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I
was n't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I
read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration
for the greatness of what you are building when no
one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the
book. And I would discover what would become for me,
four life-changing truths, after which I could
pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we
have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work
they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their
faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who
came to visit the cathedral while it was being
built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on
the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the
man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that
bird into a beam th at will be covered by the roof?
No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall
into place. It was almost as if I heard God
whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the
sacrifices you make every day, even when no one
around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no
sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is
too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see right
now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction.
But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It
is the cure for the disease of my own
self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong,
stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a
great builder. As one of the people who show up at a
job that they will never see finished, to work on
something that their name w ill never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no
cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice
to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to
tell the friend he's bringing home from college for
Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning
and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens
for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine
or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to
come home. And then, if there is anything more to
say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it
there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We
cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day,
it is very possible that the world will marvel, not
only at what we have built, but at the beauty that
has been added to the world by the sacrifices of
invisible women.







--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Burntmarshmallow (03-03-2008), froglady (01-17-2008), Kitty (03-31-2008), lou_lou (03-30-2008), Silverlady (03-17-2008), tamiloo (06-21-2008)

advertisement
Old 08-30-2007, 11:05 AM #2
houghchrst houghchrst is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 379
15 yr Member
houghchrst houghchrst is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 379
15 yr Member
Default

By golly I got half way through this and started crying because it seemed so familiar, my life. Thank you, it is wonderful.
__________________

houghchrst is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 08-31-2007, 09:09 AM #3
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Heart

Didn't mean to make you cry Christina...it does have a very familiar ring to it for so many woman.
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 08-31-2007, 01:06 PM #4
KathyM KathyM is offline
----
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 980
15 yr Member
KathyM KathyM is offline
----
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 980
15 yr Member
Heart

That was nice, Alffe.

As a child, I used to be invisible.

As a wife, mother and employee, I was visible and needed. I never minded being the one everyone ran too.

Now, it seems, I'm just in the way - and everyone runs from me.
KathyM is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 08-31-2007, 01:21 PM #5
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default

Ya better watch out....Doody's headed right atcha!
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 08-31-2007, 02:20 PM #6
KathyM KathyM is offline
----
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 980
15 yr Member
KathyM KathyM is offline
----
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 980
15 yr Member
Heart

Alrighty then I'll wait for her out front, singing some tunes to myself.

Surely she'll find my home if she hears me singing this one......

"If you'll be my Dixie chicken, I'll be your Tennessee lamb......"

I hope you two also have a wonderful time together.
KathyM is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 08-31-2007, 02:54 PM #7
Alffe's Avatar
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Alffe Alffe is offline
Young Senior Elder Member
Alffe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
15 yr Member
Default

I hope we all three can connect in the park next week!
__________________

.
Alffe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 08-31-2007, 03:44 PM #8
KathyM KathyM is offline
----
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 980
15 yr Member
KathyM KathyM is offline
----
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 980
15 yr Member
Heart

I hope so too. It would be such a treat to finally meet you in person, Alffe. We've shared quite a few years together over the internet.
KathyM is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-22-2008, 12:04 PM #9
mtmelody mtmelody is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 27
15 yr Member
mtmelody mtmelody is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 27
15 yr Member
Default

This is really cool. I have three children, the oldest are 21 and 22, my baby is three. I raised my first two as a single mom. I got married and had my little one...the marriage did not last and now I am raising my little boy by myself (again). I was exhausted the first time around...somehow I know God will help with this round too. This is beautiful. I am glad I read it.
Thank you,
Melody
mtmelody is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-23-2008, 11:53 PM #10
dorrie's Avatar
dorrie dorrie is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,900
15 yr Member
dorrie dorrie is offline
Senior Member
dorrie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,900
15 yr Member
Default

That was wonderful Alffe!! Thank you!!
__________________

.

.


LOVE DORRIE!!
dorrie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A Woman Of Strength Jaime_S Creative Corner 3 05-23-2008 03:48 AM
I wonder woman, number 45 (OK, I wonder bread, not woman) who moi Survivors of Suicide 23 07-18-2007 06:20 PM
500 yrs of woman in art Alffe Creative Corner 2 06-14-2007 10:34 AM
Nine words woman use..... bizi Bipolar Disorder 2 06-10-2007 11:22 AM
How many people Use Invisible Mode? astern Thoracic Outlet Syndrome 6 10-05-2006 12:17 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:18 AM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.