[hopeful]

HI Everyone,
I think I just need to vent. I will say I am sorry in advance. My pain is usually about a 7. I think I do pretty good tolerating that. I still am working full time. We all know how that is put the smille on be pleasant and don't let anyone know. After all pain is invisible.
For about the last 6 days my pain has shot up to a 10. I started taking Lamictal 2 weeks ago and started taking B12 about a week ago. I looked up Lamictal and the side effects say joint pain. I definitely do not think it could be the B12. This is definitely my neuropathy not joint.

I finally statyed home from work on Monday but have been in ever since.
I just want to scream. I am so tired of just putting on my smile and pretending nothing is wrong. Don't want anyone in work thinking this might effect my working ability. I really need my job.

I am actually afraid if I focus on my pain I am going to go crazy. It is becoming too much to bear. I try to not let my children know to much. Don't want them to think they have a weak mother or a mother that would give in and quit working. Ihave always been the strong one in our family.

My husband gets the blunt of how I feel. The man is a godsend most of the time but I caught him with tears in his eyes the other day when I told him how I felt. I imagine he feels helpless. Can't fix this one.

I do see a therapist. He tells me he can't believe how good I do with all this.

I feel like I am going to crash and burn soon. I just can't believe the person I use to be has gone away ( use to be very active)

I don't mean to sound so down. I know I will come back around. I am just so tired.

Thanks for letting me vent as I sit in my office with tears in my eyes.

It is just great to have a place to vent and people who understand.

[bobthebuilder54]

Originally Posted by hopeful

HI Everyone,
I think I just need to vent. I will say I am sorry in advance. My pain is usually about a 7. I think I do pretty good tolerating that. I still am working full time. We all know how that is put the smille on be pleasant and don't let anyone know. After all pain is invisible.
For about the last 6 days my pain has shot up to a 10. I started taking Lamictal 2 weeks ago and started taking B12 about a week ago. I looked up Lamictal and the side effects say joint pain. I definitely do not think it could be the B12. This is definitely my neuropathy not joint.

I finally statyed home from work on Monday but have been in ever since.
I just want to scream. I am so tired of just putting on my smile and pretending nothing is wrong. Don't want anyone in work thinking this might effect my working ability. I really need my job.

I am actually afraid if I focus on my pain I am going to go crazy. It is becoming too much to bear. I try to not let my children know to much. Don't want them to think they have a weak mother or a mother that would give in and quit working. Ihave always been the strong one in our family.

My husband gets the blunt of how I feel. The man is a godsend most of the time but I caught him with tears in his eyes the other day when I told him how I felt. I imagine he feels helpless. Can't fix this one.

I do see a therapist. He tells me he can't believe how good I do with all this.

I feel like I am going to crash and burn soon. I just can't believe the person I use to be has gone away ( use to be very active)

I don't mean to sound so down. I know I will come back around. I am just so tired.

Thanks for letting me vent as I sit in my office with tears in my eyes.

It is just great to have a place to vent and people who understand.

Hi hopeful,
Boy do I understand you. You can vent all you want to me. I just left my job in July worked for 25 years as a manager of retail stores and even owned my own and also a clothing buyer. But when the doctor said time to quit, I was in shock yet it was someone else making the decission for me, you see I am always the strong one, can never let anyone down. Never could show weakness to anyone, inculding the pain I was and am in. I have been dragging my butt for so long it has become part of me. My neurologist said she did not no how I was doing it either, she said she has patients that are not half as bad off as I am who quit their jobs and could no longer work so is this a compliment or an insult? So yes I get your pain on all angles. The only difference is our husbands, mine I do not ever tell him exactly how I feel I just do not want to tell him and he is not strong, I quess the only people I tell how I really feel is on the forum groups (thank God ) for you all. Remember you have to take care of your self first before you can care for your family or do your work. Dont feel guilty either. This is the hardest part to learn. I am an A personality and go go is my motto until the last few years. So now it is go, sit, go, sit, go, sit.
Hope this finds your pain level getting better. What kind of neuropathy are you suffering with? The thing the neurologist told me was to listen to my body when I hurt sit, when I am tired sit, I know that is hard to do to, but you take your time and rest and next week may be a better week.,
Susie

[drwk]

I totally understand your feelings. I work fulltime also and some days I fight the tears all day long. I hate feeling like I must hide my feelings and pain from work and family. My husband is the only one who I can talk to and listens so well. I have seen tears in his eyes too. Not sure why this has happened to any of us. I try to live day by day, but it is hard not to think of the future. The Cymbalta has helped the pain in my legs this past week, but you just never know what the next day brings. I also feel there will better days and that gets me through. I hug my kids and love them so much. I hope your pain begins to lower and it is just a flare. Let us know how you are doing!

[Liftyourhands7]

My husband just said to me the other day, if I could take your pain I would, how sweet and how blessed we are to have husbands who care. I'm so sorry you are going through this but I believe we can all get better, I too have started on the B12, I am completely changing my diet and I have started exercising as much as possible, I feel like just giving up sometimes, the pain and numbness are so bad I literally have it from head to toe, but we can't give up something we try will help us, and don't forget to ask the Lord he is always there for us. It's good to vent we here know how you feel, I know I feel like screaming too! We will make it through this. Blessings, Jan

[Jomar]

Is Lamictal the only med you are taking?
Is it extended release?

Many on the other pain forums here often have something for break through pain.
Do you have anything for depression? often those antidepressants will complement the pain medication and it will work better.

7-10 pain levels definitely interfere with quality sleep and good sleep is very important for overall health.

[george75]

This is for all the people with pain. You'll are lettimg pain ruin your life and people around you. I am 80 and have had PN 13 years.My pain was 8-10 for 2 years. Went to pain mngt. at VA. For about 2 years i tried most everything they had. Finally they said lets try Morphine.

In 6 months i went from 30mg. a day to 240 mg a day. My pain now is 2-3.
I have not had any side effects. the med is slow release.

What i take a day. 90mg morning
60mg noon
90mg evening.
You may not need this much.

I do not get any highs or euphoric feeling. i only get relief from pain so i can live nearly a normal life.
See a pain man agement doctor soon as you can.
Do anything you have to do to get relief.


George

[malawigirl08]

See a pain man agement doctor soon as you can.
Do anything you have to do to get relief.


George[/QUOTE]

I agree the pain team are the best - I am having Lidocaine Infusions and they are wonderful, I have some quality life back yipeeee

[hopeful]

Originally Posted by bobthebuilder54

Hi hopeful,
Boy do I understand you. You can vent all you want to me. I just left my job in July worked for 25 years as a manager of retail stores and even owned my own and also a clothing buyer. But when the doctor said time to quit, I was in shock yet it was someone else making the decission for me, you see I am always the strong one, can never let anyone down. Never could show weakness to anyone, inculding the pain I was and am in. I have been dragging my butt for so long it has become part of me. My neurologist said she did not no how I was doing it either, she said she has patients that are not half as bad off as I am who quit their jobs and could no longer work so is this a compliment or an insult? So yes I get your pain on all angles. The only difference is our husbands, mine I do not ever tell him exactly how I feel I just do not want to tell him and he is not strong, I quess the only people I tell how I really feel is on the forum groups (thank God ) for you all. Remember you have to take care of your self first before you can care for your family or do your work. Dont feel guilty either. This is the hardest part to learn. I am an A personality and go go is my motto until the last few years. So now it is go, sit, go, sit, go, sit.
Hope this finds your pain level getting better. What kind of neuropathy are you suffering with? The thing the neurologist told me was to listen to my body when I hurt sit, when I am tired sit, I know that is hard to do to, but you take your time and rest and next week may be a better week.,
Susie

Hi Susie, thanks for the understanding. They say the neuropathy I have is idiopathic. Now they are saying sjogrens but no positive anitbodies. i know what you mean by a compliment or insult. With working it is so hard to sit when needed. I am on my feet a good part of the day. My neuropathy is pretty much full body. Sorry I am just answering pain hasn't gotten much better. I am sorry u are not able to talk to your husband. That must be difficult. Please feel free to send me a private message it you ever need to just vent. hopeful

[hopeful]

Originally Posted by drwk

I totally understand your feelings. I work fulltime also and some days I fight the tears all day long. I hate feeling like I must hide my feelings and pain from work and family. My husband is the only one who I can talk to and listens so well. I have seen tears in his eyes too. Not sure why this has happened to any of us. I try to live day by day, but it is hard not to think of the future. The Cymbalta has helped the pain in my legs this past week, but you just never know what the next day brings. I also feel there will better days and that gets me through. I hug my kids and love them so much. I hope your pain begins to lower and it is just a flare. Let us know how you are doing!

Hi Sorry I am just answering my pain hasn't gotten much better. the work thing is a catch 22 isn't. I don't like to be there is pain but it also helps me not to focus on how much pain I am in. I live day to day also but sometimes I can't help but think how am I going to live like this for the rest of my life. I keep going with the hope that research will find an answer for all of us. My pain might not be getting much better but my emotions have settled down. thanks for being here! hopeful

[hopeful]

Originally Posted by Liftyourhands7

My husband just said to me the other day, if I could take your pain I would, how sweet and how blessed we are to have husbands who care. I'm so sorry you are going through this but I believe we can all get better, I too have started on the B12, I am completely changing my diet and I have started exercising as much as possible, I feel like just giving up sometimes, the pain and numbness are so bad I literally have it from head to toe, but we can't give up something we try will help us, and don't forget to ask the Lord he is always there for us. It's good to vent we here know how you feel, I know I feel like screaming too! We will make it through this. Blessings, Jan

thanks Jan, I also have full body. I do ask the Lord every day to help all of us. I try to turn it over to him. I won't give up. I appreciate you and everyone else here who listened. As much as I don't want anyone here to have this disease, I am glad I have people to talk to who know what I am feeling. The doctors try but unless you can feel the pain you will never know.Blessing to you too!