[Fancylady_2006]

I really dread seeing the morning come. I have a Dr appt. at 8:15 for a phyical. I have gained weight, not watching my diet for diabetes and a host of other things. I know he isn't going to be pleased with me. I haven't even kept track of my sugar. I can't have anything to eat before going. They are going to run all kinds of blood work, & the the pap test. Its hard telling what else he will do. I have never had him for a phyical before. I have eat so much ice cream, I bet my A1c will be sky high.

My biggest problem is I have been so depressed. I don't want to be, and have worked as much as I can stand to, but I see couples walking this time of the year apast my home and here I am painting. Bob's family don't come around or even call. One sister is coming around for a short time, but I am lonesome, espacially on Sunday. I really don't have a good outlet for meeting people in the same situation. I know I should stop feeling sorry for myself, but what do I do with my time?

Part of the time I think Gaye is coming and the next day she is sick again. I still don't know if she will be able to make the trip, even with her daughter. If your sick, your sick and it is a long ways to fly up here. We have never met and I am looking so forward to it. If I could take my dog, I would fly there. I don't want him in the baggage dept. tho.

PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS TONIGHT OR IN THE MORNING. I am such a chicken about these things.
______
Billie

[dorrie]

Billie....You are in my thoughts and my prayers, Darlin' Tomorrow will be over before you know it....you can make some new goals regarding you A1C...so you have boobed up...you are human...just get back on track..I know you can do it!! Have faith in yourself, you are an amazing lady!!!

[Jomar]

One day at a time- i have been bad with food too and not taking my vitamins regular either.

some day ... .

[bizi]

Just be honest and open to suggestions...get back on that horse.
just make a decision and go for it.
Some people find nowthey have time to learn some new healthier cooking recipes, may be you could take a cooking class.This would get you in with different people and learn some hints about nutrition. Cooking great food could be a new hobby for you.
I wish you wellness.
bizi

[Alffe]

I'm saying a prayer for you Billie...you are so often in my thoughts.

I really really wish you would find a widows support group because I know how much help they would be. Of course you are depressed and you can't just "work" it away. You spent almost a lifetime with Bob so this pain you are feeling will be your companion for quite awhile.

I hope your new doctor is a compassionate one.

[froglady]

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS MY DEAR FRIEND BILLIE}}}}}}}}}}}
I KNOW I know I am making things worse for you being so wishy-washy. Billie, I think grief counseling would be a good thing too. My SIL went and it helped her. Of course I don't know what I would do in your situation...it is so hard to go through and you two were so loving and close. My heart breaks for you my friend and Sis.

[watsonsh]

Billie,

Oh That appt will be over before you know it. We cannot be good 100%of the time. And we shouldn't be. Life is for living and ice cream is part of living. And denying ourselves is not good. Change one thing each day and before you know it you will have changed a bunch of things and see better health. It just can become so overwhelming when we look at the big picture.

Bizi is right. Be open to suggestions and craft a plan with the doc and make it a partnership. And then just try.

And Froggie, I kow you have not felt well and I know we are excited for you adventures with Billie, but if you cannot go this time, maybe you can two weeks later or a month when you are feeling better. Just because you may not feel up to going in the near future does not mean it will never happen. The friensdship you developed is a beautiful thing and will continue to grow and you will get together.

You and your late husband just sound like an amazing couple. One of those couples that everyone looks at and sighs that little happy sigh of how amazing love is. And he is still with you and still loves you. I agree with Froggie that grief counesleing might be a good thing. Maybe a journal to write about all of your memories. It could be very cathartic.

More importantly do not deny yourself the grief and the depression. Give yourself permission to be sad for as long as you need to be. Your body will help you know when its time not to be sad. Buut repressing it will only make it worse so do not feel bad for feeling bad.

If you are lonesome on Sunday nights maybe a bunch of us could go into chat with you at a specific time and we could just all talk. I would be there if you wanted to meet.

I am sending you good wishes and

P.S. Jo...march yourself over to that cupboard and take some vitamins

Dorrie is right you are