I used to have a hard enough time trying to help my boys with their homework 20 years ago....before all this new-fangled stuff....so I know I'd be no help at all now.

DS & DIL went to a "look-see" meeting yesterday at a private school here in the county we live. The girls are not even 2 yet (will be in November) but she's already scoping out pre-school and kindergarten venues because the most coveted ones have a waiting list. And they will need to do some serious budget planning to make this a reality.

Hoping that by them taking a proactive stance here the girls will be able to at least make change......or know what amount they are due.....without having to involve a dozen co workers! It's worrisome how UNeducated even the seemingly "educated" young people are.

I'm showing my age here but I think there should be a mandatory "common sense" class taught for each grade at their own age-appropriate level. Only problem is.....who can teach it??

My own kids are doing well, were in a good school system and I was a teacher. I believe teaching starts at birth, play experiences (Play, never did formal lessons- turn off!!), influenced by the behaviors of those around them. I could not afford special preschool for my twins and used the vo-tech part of town high school which ran a preschool supervised by a great teacher and using her own students. My kids played, explored and were loved by young enthusiastic motivated students. In Kindergarten the student teacher asked what special pre-school they went to, they were so smart. We did a lot of experiential things (trips to zoos, automated dinosaurs, lunch out at diners, visits to fire station, etc.). They started with good genetics and got good environmental. I would say "make good choices" (not teachy or preachy), my 24 year old daughter heard and jokingly says it now to her cat. Both graduated highly ranked universities and maintained 3-4 point GPAs. I have taught pre-school in my old school (hired teacher bailed at last moment) so got some experience before my own. Kids (students) played, but I had purpose for everything they did. Playing can be channeled to do logic, cause and effect, eye-hand coordination, etc. at age-appropriate Development is genetic, environmental and economic (IMHO).

I know I shouldn't be picking on people's education and blaming the schools for the I-D-10-Ts I come across, since it is largely the parents who are the most responsible for what kids learn as they're growing up. But at the same time when I blame the school's its not so much the teachers that I want to blame. My aunt is a teacher at a school, and had the "core skills" thrust upon her a few years ago.

Now she has a hard time teaching any of her students, mostly because she's forced to show them 4-6 different ways of completing problems in a single "period". The kids don't even have a chance to fully grasp the first problem before she has to move on to the next which has a whole different concept. It's ridiculous and leaves her 3rd graders more confused more times than not. Add to that the removal of special education classroom, and her classroom having more special needs students than the prescribed number of special needs aids and she's left overwhelmed at how she's going to get the kids to understand even just one new concept before they leave her classroom for good.

She manages, but often by the skin of her teeth and by offering "parent tutoring" afterschool. So the parents of her students can learn what the children are learning to be able to help them at home. She lives in a very poor county where the parents are more worried about putting food on the table and keeping the heat on in the winter, but thankfully a lot of them take advantage of her "tutoring" and will help out their children's friends even.

So about the only good thing she has to say about it, is it has brought a close knit community even closer together! But even she bemoans for the days of math drills. This whole "kids don't understand why they're doing it, they're just memorizing the information..." Guess what, all knowledge is memorization. Not a thing in the world isn't learned through memorization. Even a baby crying for food, comes to memorize that this cry gets them food sooner, this one gets them a dry bottom sooner, as mommy's memorize the different cries and act accordingly.

It's just as you memorize more and more about the world, you "seem" to make "instant connections" that show an underlying ability to "conceptualize." When all that's happening is the brain is making connections to stored memories, enough experiences and memories have taken a similar enough situation and made a connection so you don't have to "think" about the answer. So when you start jumping to "concept" without any memories to back it up, of course you're confusing the heck out someone.

It goes to the whole "Describe an egg to an alien who has never seen one before." Naturally most people choose to go with it's oval, white, can fit in the palm of the hand, has a yellow yolk.... but even mammals have eggs in their ovaries, no one decides to describe that to the alien. And why do we always jump to the classic white chicken egg when told to describe an egg? Because of our memories, our memories have associated egg with white chicken egg... we know there's brown eggs, we know there's speckled eggs, there's tiny blue robin's eggs... but the brain has memorized and connected the general word "egg" with "white chicken egg". We don't have to sit there and think, well what kind of egg should I describe? Should I describe all the eggs in the world to the alien...

It's the same thing with math. 1+1 is 2 we add to the memorization 2+1 is 3, our brain jumps to the conclusion 2+2 is 4 since 2 is 1 greater than 1 and 4 is 1 greater than 3. Some people it takes a few more memories than others to make that jump. Sometimes you have to go higher the number scale, but they will eventually get it baring some terrible disorder that prevents it.

It's the same with our letter and letter sounds. I'm dyslexic, but I still learned to read in much the same manner of any other kid, just with a whole lot more memorization going into the process. My peers were able to simply memorize letter sounds and phonetic rules... I had to memorize the whole word. It got a lot easier once we began on prefixes and suffixes as I could pick the "smaller" words out of the great whole and sound that part out with the root word. But at the same time, I always rocked it on the "sight words" tests while my peers took a bit longer to figure those ones out since they didn't follow the rules they had memorized. Sad part is I even memorized the rules though they don't mean diddily to me.

Anyways.. where was I going with this I don't remember

Sorry I was a few classes away from a bachelor's degree in psychology when the MS finally took over on me and stopped me from those last 3 classes. And I had a hard earned 3.8 GPA, not hard earned because I studied forever to accomplish it and wracked my brain at every turn, but more because I simply refused to get a 4.0 and end up as the "inspirational crippy" at the graduation. My brother and sister both had to make their speeches at graduation thanks to their 3.9 and 4.0 GPAs respectively. I wasn't going to take any chances and I still was darn close to be called upon to speak when I graduated with my multi-associates.

But I helped a lot of students, even students in different programs with their work for classes I wasn't even enrolled in. And yeah... people memorize things and convert that to knowledge, that's just the way the brain works. Give them enough to memorize and they'll just take off with their learning. Memorizing the bare bones of Greek and Latin can turn a D average nursing student into an A+ student seemingly overnight. Words they couldn't define, couldn't even begin to tell what part of the body it was suppose to be in or what was going on, suddenly boom, not only can they define the words and tell you where it is in the body but they can make new connections with their memories allowing them to be to define just about any medical term out there.

Which is why until only a few generations ago, they used to teach Latin and Greek in preparatory schools. To prep you for college, for medical schools and really basically any form of higher learning outside of perhaps the liberal arts where Latin and Greek is still the basis of all the terminology. Memorize that and you don't have to memorize a medical dictionary.

My niece is married to a man who has been blind since birth. He asks all these questions about things and wants us to describe something to him,or how something works like I hear my neighbor say e has a bad piston. What is a piston, what does it look like and what does it do. What does a silver maple look like. It is really hard to describe in words that you actually have to had seen something to reference this to. But I love the curiosity in him.

My youngest grand daughter is in the 3rd grade and a math expert. I guess if you have grown up and common core is all you have ever known, it comes naturally. Now her 14 year old sister is still good in school but terrible in math. My youngest daughter, her aunt, helped her by answering in the kind of math we all grew up with. She instantly could figure out the answer but that doesn't help when you have to show your answer.

Well see that's kind of the problem for your oldest niece... I mean, if she can instantly figure out the answer then she's not terrible in math... but she's made to feel like she's terrible in math because they want her to show her work, when there's no work to be shown to her mind. My brother and I both ran into the same problem when we started doing long division. We could answer the question, there was no "work" to be shown as far as we were concerned. And no matter how long the division got, we never stumbled over the answer or even the remainders. Without once having to the write the whole thing out. We knew our multiplication tables and could reverse them just as quickly for division. It made us both think that we were absolutely the worst at mathematics.

Luckily the teachers picked up on it a little bit quicker for me than my brother, but all the same they came to see that we weren't "math dunces" but actually really good at math. So they told us to think of it as showing someone how to answer the problem... someone who doesn't know how to divide, so act like we're teaching them how to solve the problem. It worked out pretty well, and while I know I'm not "bad" at math, I still feel as though it's my worst subject though. I just can't get over those first few months of getting red circles on my papers even though the answers were all correct.

I still feel that the "core" isn't really helping as much as the school boards would like us to believe. No matter how you write out the problem it still comes down to a matter of memorization. But why are they teaching kids addition by teaching them subtraction before they've even learned to add? It used to be the other way around... learn addition first... now that you've seen the pattern of things in addition, let's reverse the operation... see same pattern.

Believe it or not, our brains don't really like to think. They would love to be as autonomous as our heart and lungs. Unfortunately we have too many synapses to allow for that. We're not strictly instinctual creatures like poor little goldfishes. Our brains have evolved allowing more thoughts to enter our heads and to be faced with more questions than we have answers for. And we take in our experiences everyday and our brain tries to answer all the questions concerning everything we felt, smelled, tasted, saw, heard and tries to answer them all. Once it gets it's answer it tosses that question out. We don't wonder about it anymore, we don't have to think about it... it's gone... it has become readily accessible knowledge. And our brains can get really really cranky when it can't answer a question, it becomes fixated on it, it becomes frustrated and it won't let it rest until it "knows". How many times have any of you woken up in the middle of the night with "Dang it that's what ...." It's because your brain was fixated, it had to know...

Now here's the problem when you make kids think they're slow at something, or like they just can't get it... They don't take in anything else. They may still do well in their other classes, especially if it's classes they have more of a liking for because they have already gained some experience concerning them, their brains can make a few short assumptions about what's going on as it goes back to fixating on the "problem at hand". However, they will eventually suffer for it though if it goes on too long.

And that's where some of the problems comes in with the "core" is kids are being hit with too much information, it's supposedly designed to ensure that kids can learn visually, orally and hands on, but it's trying to accomplish that all at the same time. It's almost like it was designed by someone suffering from ADHD. And I'm not trying to say that math drills and memorizing times tables is the only way to learn math. I have never once been in favor of 'cookie cutter classrooms'.

In all honestly, if in another life I can come back as a director of education somewhere, I would probably drop the whole "grade by age" thing first and foremost. Forget what "grade" you're in, what's the work you can do? What are your strengths, what are your weaknesses? Let's put you in classrooms that play to each. Who cares if one kid is 10 in this class and another kid is only 6 and there's a handful of 7 years olds and maybe even a few that are 11. So long as by the time you reach 18-20 you can complete all the curriculum at the school, who cares if it took you till you were 9 to get down reading, but you finished algebra 2 when you were 12. Furthermore lets have our teachers showing off their strong subjects rather than trying to teach 'everything'.

Think of the buildings you could cut down on too, schools could be more centralized if we're not trying to split up, elementary, middle school and high school especially when it's based on an arbitrary thing like age. It would probably cut down a lot on the bullying too, you would have the older students around the younger students and that would give the older ones more of a sense of responsibility, since they're the "oldest", they would be more inclined to be a good role model and help out the younger kids, protecting them, if you will and that would pass on as the younger kids start becoming the older kids. And of course how could you be made to feel "stupid" because you can't keep up with your 'age defined' class, when there's no age for any of the classes, just ability.

Why do we feel the need to tell kids that by 6 they should be able to count to 100, add and subtract single digits, read 2 syllable words, recite the alphabet and all the letter sounds, name all their colors (sorry to the color blind kids you must be stupid) and be able to follow 10 step instructions without assistance. And of course let us not forget the fine motor skills of being able to write the alphabet, all the numbers, cut paper following a traced line, color within the lines oh and yes never have an accident because your big kids now you should be able to control your bladder. And the sole reason why you can do all this stuff is because you're 6 years old now, you're not 5 anymore… Just like when you turn 11 you should be able to start doing simple algebra simply because you're 11 now, you're not a 10 year old anymore so solve for X already, we don't care that you read War and Peace this week, you're stupid because you can't solve for X when you're already 11.

I just don't understand the way they run schools sometimes. And every kid is made to feel like they are terrible at, at least one subject throughout their school career. For me it's always been math. And even though I know as an adult, I am not really 'bad' at math, I still feel like I am. I feel like an idiot anytime I have to do a math problem. I hate it, I can do it, without a calculator and without using my fingers or toes, I can look at the problem and solve it, but it still feels like I'm struggling to do so. I know I'm not an idiot, I basically read novels, crochets and doodled my way through college barely took note one (I did jot down the occasional interesting tidbit) and got a 3.8 because I tried not to get a 4.0 so I actually would change answers I knew were correct on a test to give myself a B for some of the classes when I was getting too close to a 3.9. And still I feel stupid when it comes to math…. but I can keep track of my GPA and test scores to know what I need to score on this test or that test to keep it running even at 3.8… yep I'm a true moron when it comes to math….

Why is it that kids can't play to the strengths and weakness in school until they reach college? I mean by then a lot of the damage has been done. Kids will avoid taking the classes they think they're stupid in and will take the classes they feel they can do. Even if it has no bearing on their actual ability, it's just when they were in elementary school at age 6 they could do math, but struggled to read, so they're math minded and hate English classes. Now after kindergarten they never got another bad mark in English, could read at or above their "peer-level" but they're terrible at English, so bad at it. Whereas in Math they might only be average, but because they thought early on that Math was their strong suit that's what they continue to think and avoid what might really be their strong suit in Language Arts. Or vise-versa

I mean, school is a place to learn right? So when did it become a daycare for parents and a place to instill insecurities in our children? My granddaughter is 2 years old and basically hits every single milestone for a 4 year old child. My niece just turned 4 years old and is still working on some of her milestones. So is my granddaughter some kind of genius or is my niece some kind of idiot? I'd say neither, there's a lot of those milestones that my granddaughter just meets, and some of the ones that my niece is hitting she excels at and surpasses her peerage. My niece at age 4 can already add, subtract and do some simple multiplication. She's enthralled with numbers… her sentence formation could use a lot of work… My granddaughter will talk your head off in clear, complete sentences, but could really care less about numbers beyond counting to ten.

But both girls are going to be forced to fit the mold once they start school. Not allowed to excel beyond those their age and forced to keep up in other respects. Both of them will have their "duncing" moment when they will be made to feel they're stupid in a subject and will have the blow to their self-esteem which will then make them question their overall intellegence. They'll wonder why they can't do this problem when Sue can and she can't even do (whatever) like they can… why are they so stupid… They'll cry, maybe get a pep talk from their parents about how some people just have things they're better at than others, but they'll figure it out soon enough… Not that there's any comfort in that, because kids naturally want to believe they're the best in everything. After all before they went to school they were mommy and daddy's perfect little one, now their parents know they aren't perfect anymore and what's worse they're admitting it to the kids that they aren't perfect.

I mean it can really be a very deep psychological blow, or rather more times than not it really is one, and it’s a stigma you will carry for the rest of your life. It affects your entire future, whether you go to college or not, it will still hold bearing on what jobs you aspire to. How could you even think of going to law school when you can't read like Little Johnny? How could you even think of opening up your own shop when you're just terrible at math? How could you dream to become a carpenter when you couldn't cut out the circles like Mary? Med school? Heh forget it science was your worst subject (even though you got all A's).

All right, bouncing off my soapbox now LOL. Can you tell I really have issues with the educational system pretty much around the world since almost all developed countries have the same class by age set-up to make our kids feel utterly stupid at times.

Starz, where my daughter lives in Kentucky has a wonderful school system. They have one kindergarten and Head start. All the kids in the entire county are schooled in this one school for Head start and Kindergarten. The library, gymnasium, cafeteria, well just everything is geared towards that size of a child. Lots of teachers aides. Then in the elementary school, 1sr and 2nd grade is grouped into on thing and called primary grade. Each room is actually 2 rooms but there is a small little hallway connecting two classrooms. If a younger child needs more help they just go through this little hallway and takes that class, math, English or whatever in the younger age class. Then they join their own class for the rest of the day. Or if a younger child excells in math they join the older kids for that class and then just goes back tot heir own for the rest of the classes. Every child in the older age classroom is a mentor to a younger child. They write a welcome letter and is just asked to be their friend so that no child comes in without knowing some one.

Maybe I need to convince the DSD to move to Kentucky... sadly I think it maybe too late for her own education

But going to rant about her just a bit more and the rest of the youth today with the darn cellphone addiction that they are now calling a real thing.... Nomophobia (no mobile phone phobia) seriously In addition to texting while driving, nomophobia is also characterized by phantom rings/vibrations, panic and anxiety attacks when without their phone (even if their phone is just in another room of the house) obsessive compulsion to check their phone and so forth.

Honestly that's sad, and what's worse is there are now a whole host of self-help programs and even REHAB clinics for nomophobics. And what's worse is going through some of the "are you an addict," "how to spot cell phone addiction" my DSD is a full fledged addict and should be seeking medical assistance to unplug herself and that's just from the things I have witnessed her doing... As for myself, I took a few different tests for how I interact with my cellphone and come up as a bare necessities kind of person, even though I don't ever use my landline which is really sad in a way.

But it does explain a few of things that I'm upset with her about right now. If from what I have witnessed, she is addicted to her cell phone to such an extreme, it does also affect ones views of reality. They live in the virtual world disconnect not only socially from reality, but it shuts down their abilities to truly live in the real world. They can't function, they aren't thinking about raising their kids or how they're paying their bills (aside from their phone bill) they're thinking about the next tweet or snapchat. They are disconnect from the "here and now". Honestly that happens with pretty much any addiction... Alcoholics don't think about rent money when they're cruising for their next 12 pack, they don't think about not getting behind the wheel drunk when they run out of booze, they aren't thinking about the consequences of any of their actions aside from how to feed their addiction, everything else in their lives is secondary.

Now the problem comes in on how to do an intervention with her. Especially when I can understand her wanting to escape reality after her terrible childhood, but she's got a smart beautiful baby girl who needs some of mommy's attention right now, and she's about to lose her job over her attitude and cell phone use. That's something that has me ready to snap her cell phone in half. But it's something that I can understand clinically, but not personally. Even after being a smoker for so many years, and while I have the occasional craving for a cigarette, it's not much stronger a craving than wanting chocolate during one's period. I can smoke one, or smoke a pack and I'm good again. It's no big deal really giving them up. And even when I was smoking I often forgot my cigarettes and/or lighters all the time and just went without until I was back home.

So I can't really understand a cell phone dependency. I understand OCD to an extent on a personal level, though it's a weird anxiety that I feel when things are messy or out of order, it's kind of a disgust, skin crawling sort of anxiety over a panicky one. I don't get short of breath or feel my heart racing, it's my skin that crawls, my stomach churns and I just have to wipe up that ring of condensation from the countertop and disinfect it from the spit that joined it while wondering why in the world people like to spit on my counters it's purely disgusting and I'm gonna be sick so stop spitting all around my house... You would think that I'm a coaster fiend, but I'm not all they do is play the spittoon that needs cleaning out later generally after everything has become all dried and crusty.... eeeewwwww...... Just everyone should drink their drinks at room temperature and then it will never be a problem.

But back to the cellphone thing... I can't understand having a panic attack over not having it with you. Or an inability to fight the compulsion to check it at least once every 5 minutes. I might get terribly disgusted with water rings on my countertops and tables, but I can resist cleaning it up until the DH has gone to bed. I mean we live in the south, cold drinks are always in demand, condensation is just a fact of life down here... And there's no end to the water rings, all you can do is just disinfect everything once it's out of use for the day. So why is it so hard to put your cell phone down while you're at work?? Put it in your purse, lock in your locker and get to work doing what you're paid to do.... why do you even need a cellphone on you??

I'm afraid I might not be very sympathetic when we decide to have our little chat... Even though she exhibits all the signs and has all the resulting affects going on in her life, it's hard to believe that there's a nomophobia but I don't remember hearing about a notelphobia when landlines were all we had.