Gosh am I feeling old for that line. But my DH and I just finished a 3 hour intro to budgeting with my DSD (24) that ended with her giving us her money to pay her bills and basically give her an allowance to spend on necessities and niceties. She doesn't get it at all. Which is a shame since she's generally a very smart kid, and she's been through pretty much hell and back again, she's trying so hard to get her feet under her and our very dear family friend "uncle" to her, helped her out with renting out one of his properties to her on the cheap and even having the utilities in his name until she can save up for deposits to switch them....

Only as the DH and I found out... she's 3 months behind in both rent and utilities . Uncle is being good natured about the whole thing and just started by turning off her internet on her. But let her keep her electric and other utilities for now even though he's been footing the bill for them. As I said he's a very very dear and old as the family type of family friend so yeah he feels as though he well and truly is her uncle. He changed her diapers as a baby and was equally devastated when her mother was awarded custody in the divorce even after DFCS had taken the children away from their mother. Truly a nightmare there, but I digress.

She's currently working as a waitress and doing her best to raise her two kids by herself (plus 2 grandparents, 2 doting great-grandparents and 1 awesome uncle) but she has no earthly idea about money. None... Not an ounce of it, as we found out tonight.

She has never dealt with nor once had to create any kind of budget. She doesn't know how to average her tips to determine roughly how much she makes each month, or even if her job is capable of supporting her and her children. And she spent much of the afternoon telling me how she didn't spend her money, she had no idea whatsoever as to why she didn't have enough money for rent. She never bought anything... (tap tap tap on her phone with her freshly manicured nails done up with color changing polish) She doesn't spend her money on anything at all, she saving it up, hasn't spent a dime... well other than her new pants... clothes for the kids (cute little outfits bought at Walmart despite the Gigi's having just bought over 10 outfits from the Salvation Army for next to nothing). But she really no matter how much she thinks about it... her money is just gone... She never even eats out (text from her last week was that she had left the beach and would be bringing the GB along once she finished her chicken tortellini)

And you know.. I was ready to throttle her as she sat there telling me how her money just seemed to have disappeared, maybe someone stole it though she couldn't imagine who... I mean well and truly ready to commit child abuse over it knowing full and well where at least a goodly portion of her money went though there was still about a grand that I couldn't account for. But regardless she had to head to work so we put the discussion on the back burner. My mom dropped her off and we headed over to talk to her uncle to find out just what in the heck was going on and how much were we talking about with her 3 month debt. And as we sat there discussing it at his job, another family seemed to be having the exact same discussion I had just had with my daughter.

Not sure about the youngster's age, since it was the mother talking over the phone to someone else who was clearly old enough to rent their own place, but the mother was yelling about what did he mean he couldn't pay his rent, he had a great job, where did the money go. What do you mean you don't know... It's your money how do you not know where it went... What it just developed legs and walked out of your bank on it's own?!.... You owe how much?!.... Like hell your father and I have that kind of money... How did you get so far behind on your rent?! Cause you had to pay your electric... WHAT?! If you're running a Meth lab you should definitely be able to make your rent?! Well then you tell me how you run up that much in electricity in a month.... It wasn't in just one month... how far behind were you?! Why didn't you pay it sooner?! That's what we're talking about what happened to your money?! You get paid every week...

Loved the mother, normally I hate hearing cellphone conversations but that one was quite entertaining, and a bit comforting to know that wow.... I'm not alone... I was saying practically the same thing just moments before to my own kid. And she was even making the same facial expressions and arm gestures... and when she hung up, she was muttering the same muttered threats of violence I had made when dropping my daughter off to work.

Which begs the question... How many youngsters nowadays have no clue about budgeting??? Even my own mother told me not to be too hard on my daughter because when she made bank deposits for her store there was almost always one many a time two people in there arguing over bounced checks or overdrawn fees and why would the ATM tell them they had x amount of dollars in the bank and then end up overdrawn. (checks and debit cards always in play in those cases. Checks were written and sent out for whatever but they only checked their balance by what the ATM said, not by actually balancing their checkbooks)

It's like no one under the age of 35 knows anything at all about money. It's just the ATM says I have it or I don't, or worse still the checkout accepted it. There's no planning anymore. No clue as to how to determine what they can afford to pay in rent, how to keep their electric bills down, concepts of clipping coupons or at least buying per sales flyers. They work and money just magically appears and even more magically just simply disappears with no rythme or reason because of course the kids today don't spend their money on anything. (Except everything they see and decide they need.)

I mean she even asked us whether we had trouble with money when we were her age. I mean yeah sure there was the occasional bounced check ($20 or so that was miscalculated) and the odd ($10-50) impulse buy that had us eating ramen for a few weeks. But never once were we more than a grand in debt. Our electric was shut off one time, when the DH hurt himself on the job and while we were waiting for worker's comp to kick in, we had just fixed the car that decided it needed a new coil so there went rainy day funds just before the big ouch. Double whammy knocked us a bit hard, but we got our electric back on the very next day after it was shut down and wasn't a problem there after.

Either way, do they no longer teach this stuff in schools? I mean we learned it during home ec 1, that everyone took boy or girl. You had to learn to care for a kid, change diapers, grind baby food, make bottles all that fun stuff. You had to be able to cook a simple meal, steam/boil some veggies, bake/panfry some meat, and make a starch. You had to create a household budget including everything from rent and utilities to clothing, gas, entertainment and household repairs/upkeep. We had to make a shopping list and menu for 7 days worth of food and we were given a budget we could spend for the week's food, we were welcome to use sales flyers, coupons, price matching, planned leftovers, whatever to get the lowest possible prices and the most nutritional food as our grade for the project was based upon those criteria. I guess just before I left school they changed the name of it to "life skills" or some such nonsense which is a bit funny because they called special needs classes "life skills" before that, but it was a great class that I attended that covered pretty much everything. How to cook, how to clean, how to budget, how to save, how to live without being told what to do by our parents. I did find it a little bit boring because I already knew about 95% of the class before I even attended it, but really it was nice to take the class and start thinking of all the little things you don't consider in life once you're on your own.

But given this seemingly epidemic of clueless kids today... I can't imagine they have that course in schools anymore and I can't imagine it's mandatory if they do. Of course it's not just the school, it's the parents too. How is that my generation isn't teaching their kids how to balance a checkbook, how to save money... to know that the first bill you need to worry about is your room, be it in the form of rent or mortgage and also to know what they can actually afford! 40% of your net income is the most you should pay for housing, any more than that and you simply can't afford it.

Alright, budget rant is done... but believe me as old as I'm feeling, I'm sure there's plenty of other "kids today" rants I can add to this

It's definitely a "different world" out there.

I'm going to risk sounding old here but when I was in high school we had classes on how to budget your money, write checks and balance your checkbook.

I'll admit I haven't written a check in years because everything is done electronically now. All my bills are paid online and let me just tell you I love it!!

But we, as parents and grandparents, owe it to our children to make sure they are well prepared to go out into the world. That's going to be different for them than it was for us. Easier and better in my opinion.

Everything is done electronically now. There are computer programs you can download for budgeting and money management. I sure do wish I had that when I was learning to budget.

You can never start too early. My granddaughters are now 17 months old. They have nearly every toy made (or at least it seems like it!) and many of them are money related.....counting coins and paper money (pretend) and buying things from a pretend retail store. They have no idea what these toys are trying to teach them but one day hopefully they'll understand it and it will have been helpful.

I've always tried to instill a respect of (not to be confused with love of) money in my boys. Unlike prior years (my years as a child and teenager) family fiances are more openly discussed and everyone is included in the discussion. I used to let my boys "help" me with organizing bills and determining what needed to be paid right now versus what could wait another week or so. I think it helped them realize that money doesn't grow on trees and if you're not careful with it there's a pretty good chance your money is going to run out before your month does.

I will never forget a lesson my Dad taught me. It is BURNED into my brain never to go away. I had purchased my first car. A 1978 Camaro. I loved that car!! I kept up the payments and insurance and maintenance on it. About a year into the loan I discovered that the payment was due but I had "shopped" a little too much and came up short when it came time to make the payment. Silly girl that I still was......and a Daddy's Girl to boot.....I wasn't worried. Daddy would cover it for me until I got paid again. I got a huge wake up call day. Daddy, bless his sweet, smart heart, told me to get my payment book and go to the bank in person and speak to the loan officer and explain why I needed extra time to pay my installment. The loan officer was very nice but told me that I could pay the interest only and the principle amount could be added to the end of the loan. I signed the paperwork and could not get out of that bank fast enough. I had learned my lesson! I never, ever was short again. Later I learned that my Dad was friends with the loan officer and had called him prior to me arriving at the bank. That lesson still helps me today. I told my boys about it and they were amazed that I could even speak with the person that made the loan to me! Everything today is done online and you never get to see who's helping you.

Your dad was AWESOME!!! Would that I had such a cool dad. But honestly I used to be extremely cautious with my money. I knew where every dime was spent and kept a good handle on it all. I didn't run into issue with "impulse buys" until I met my husband. But before that I owned my own car that I bought with my money from working before I even had a driver's license. I bought my own horse and paid it's stable fees, vet bills, farrier bills, bought necessary tack and baubles that I needed or felt I needed. I mean yeah I negotiated for the boarding fees with the stable owner of stable hand work in lieu of part of the payment but still...

I opened my first bank account (by my own accord and desire) when I was 8 years old and started babysitting around the neighborhood. My parents never touched my money or told me I had to save so much or could only spend so much. It was left entirely up to me. And I saved like a hamster at a buffet. Though I still spent money on toys and clothes and candy and such nonsense that little kids want. I had well over $5000 the Christmas my parents went bankrupt and it was decided it would be our last Christmas in NH. And since my parents didn't have any money to fill under the Christmas tree, I took all my savings and blew it on Christmas presents for everyone. I even managed to keep it a surprise by walking to the mall each day after school and buying a little bit, little bit, little bit, just what I could carry home. I'd wrap it all up with wrapping paper I bought and dress it up with ribbons and such then hide it away in the attic before my parents got home. It was agony waiting on Christmas eve for my parents to finish putting what they got us under the tree and go to bed so I could sneak up to the attic and pull out my own stash.

In the end my parents did better than they let on they would be able to, I found out later it was because my uncle sent them money to buy us gifts, but still it was probably the best Christmas I ever had. Just by how shocked everyone was when they came downstairs. My siblings because they were expecting maybe a couple of pairs of socks and a book or two and my parents faces because suddenly there was an explosion of gifts under the tree that they had no clue where it came from.

And still by the time April came around and we actually moved my bank account was well back in the green. I was even able to give my brother $300 to spend at south of the border for fireworks. I laugh that I don't know where my money went most of the time, but I know where it went. I know what I spent it on and knew how much I made each week and roughly how much I earned in a month even with uneven babysitting hours.

As to why I was trying to save up money from such an early age.... I was determined to buy myself a horse

But once another person and their spending habits were thrown into the mix, things got squirrelly for a bit. We've since worked it out, and are doing quite well financially but there was a time when we were eating not just ramen noodles but leftover ramen noodles. I should probably write a recipe book on the many ways one can cook and eat ramen noodles and how to use every crumb so you don't waste even a 1/10 of the 33 pennies you spent for them, and more so how to stretch them out with almost equally cheap, long lived ingredients to add variety to your diet. An onion soup made with the broth base actually isn't half bad. As for the noodles now lacking a broth packet, boil them then fry them up with a scrambled egg and if you're really feeling fancy you can toss a bit of teriyaki sauce in with it (sparingly, like a few drops cause it ain't cheap.) Not rich enough for that, fry them in the pan and then cover with a slice of American cheese... college mac n' cheese

I remember when our girls asked us to go get money out of the machine (ATM). They had no idea that you just can't go get money out of there if you don't have money in the bank.

I can't remember how I came up with the idea, they were in high school and always wanting the next best thing to wear and money doesn't grow on tress although we were comfortable. Being a nurse does come with a good pay check. My husband was a pharmacy technician and made about half what I made but we knew how to budget. Anyway I came up with this 'overtime' account for the girls. I knew that about 1/3 of my check went to different taxes, etc. So every two weeks when our pay stubs came, I looked at how many hours of overtime I worked. I took that number and multiplied it by 1 1/2 which was what our overtime pay was. Then I took that amount and divided it by 3, one for me and the other 2 for the girls. Now I didn't actually take mine out of the bank. But I set up a bank account for the girls in theirs and my name. They had to go to the BMV and get an identity card. I deposited every two weeks the amount and then we would have them write that amount into their checking account book. That was their money to buy clothes, etc with. They knew it wasn't to be spent extravagently. So sometimes the youngest would have me take her to the mall. Oh, how I wish I had a step counter at that time. We would walk from one end of the mall to the other. Go into a few stores and try on, then go to another and then back to the first. Sometimes we would end up bringing something home but more often would not. Now the oldest as soon as I made that deposit we went off to the mall and it was gone!

Both of our girls also would make the decision whether or not to buy a certain style. I always worried about whether I would have to be 'the heavy' and lay down my foot on certain styles. But we would go into their favorite store and I would sit there praying as they picked out a tiny tight miniskirt and try it on. They always came out wearing the clothes that they had worn to the store and the miniskirt hanging in the dressing room. I know they tried the clothes on because I saw bare legs. They just saw how they looked in them and didn't like them.

She is still that way in her spending but she has a husband. The youngest is divorced and her bills are now just her to pay. She has debts and she can't always pay the whole thing but she will call the debtor and set up a payment plan. She has no internet or cable because she doesn't have the money and her good for nothing ex husband ruined her credit. I am proud of both my girls but especially the youngest for taking care of her home and bills like she does.

Sorry to ramble but I love and am so proud of my daughters. They are both poor as a church mouse but happy. One is responsible in her debts and the other kind of.

Well leave it to a great-grandma to come up with some inspiration, motivation and a just enough spoiling to get a wayward daughter back under control a bit. Deciding that the DSD was feeling a bit overwhelmed when she realized that as of tomorrow she'll be behind by yet another rent payment, and hasn't seen her daughter most of the week for the hours she's working (so naturally feels guilty and wants to do those little impulse buys for her daughter more than ever) The Gigi has come up with a plan for a family vacation to Disney World (it's a short enough distance to travel with the kids)

But there's a catch.... the kids can go regardless, but DSD can only go along if she has paid off her debts completely . And if so, to avoid the urge to impulse buy for the little ones for now out of guilt, she'll also get a spending allowance above what we're all going to naturally drop on the GBs, for her to spoil the kids as well.

So it's just a little bit of a spoiling for her, a special treat for doing well, and something for her to look forward to at the end of the tunnel aside from... okay I'm caught up on my bills and haven't any fun in ages, my kids hate me cause I'm always working, and I still don't know how I'm going to pay my rent again at the end of the month because I just HAD to buy the kids something now that I'm all caught up.

We're also putting our foot down on the potty training of the youngest.... She spends about $70 a week in those stupid pull-ups for her daughter who is just a little pee machine. The GB will go through at least 7 or 8 pull-ups a day if she's out running around and not drinking as much as she probably should. On the cooler days or days where she thinks she's a camel at an oasis she can wet right on through 12 of them without breaking a sweat (and that's just in the 10-12 hours I'm watching her.)

So that's a ton of money that the DSD doesn't really have, being wasted because she's not been following through with the potty training when she isn't working. So that's going to be nipped in the butt starting Sunday when the buggins goes back to mommy.

Next thing on the list is her food shopping... She buys "Velveta" mac 'n' cheese... She has the food budget of ramen noodles 5 nights out of the week... she buys a lot of shrimp, clams, crabs... you name it if it's expensive seafood she buys it.... she has the budget of generic hotdogs twice a week... And there might be some debate of me giving the GBs Kool-Aid as opposed to "fruit juice", but honestly I only use 1/3 of a cup of sugar and about twice the water that's called for on the little 25 cent packets. There's just enough flavor and just enough sweet that the kids love it and can drink as much as they want without getting canker sores from all the vitamin C they put in the fruit juices.

Tell me I'm a terrible gramma for giving a 2 year old water, pert near sugar free Kool-Aid.. I don't care, it's cheap and keeps the kids hydrated and happy, they even love to help make it up (I put it in a recycled juice bottle that has a cap so after we add the sugar, and half the water they can shake it all around and just have a blast shaking the bottle... cheap, hydrating, happy and a good 10 minutes worth of entertainment Kool-aid )

But anyways, there's an supposedly AMAZING grocery store "near-ish" to us. Called AIDL, you pay a quarter to get a shopping cart but get it back when you return the cart and you have to BYOB(ags) But they have bagged salad on sale for $0.69 for a 12 oz bag, fresh chicken breasts for $1.69lb and so forth... I mean just huge savings over what even Sam's Club offer and you have to pay to get in there. But AIDL you don't, other than the returned fee for a shopping cart. One downside for someone like my DH going there is he likes his brand name foods and makes enough to enjoy them...

For the DSD she might like the brand named foods, but doesn't make nearly enough to enjoy them so she might as well go generic or she's going to be starving . Another downside is they carry a limited stock of items, if they sell out.. they're out, so making a list before going down of exact planned dinners, not so much... making a list of how many meals you need to buy, and knowing how much you can spend... yeah, much more important. It's a sort of plan meals on the fly sort of store but again only if you were going down for just one weeks worth of meals. Even if you can't get all the sides and such to go with the meals, the deals on meats that can be broken down, sealed and frozen... now that's where the money is saved.

And the Gigi of course has yet another trick up her sleeve when it comes to the food shopping aside from finding such a cheap discount store. DIY microwave meals, since the DSD works such odd hours and doesn't always have time or the energy to cook a meal right then... we're going to drag her shopping one day and spend the rest of that day or the next cooking up meals in advance. Vacuum sealing them and having them all set to be pulled from the freezer whenever and tossed in the microwave, in boiling water or even cut open and dumped into the slow cooker to be ready when she gets home at night, and since she has the little ones who don't eat a full portion of the anything we can make up little buggins baggies for them from left over portions of whatever we're making up.

It might take some getting used to, but I think she'll get it down, even if she doesn't fall in love with the DIY TV dinners, at least getting some major savings on her food and learning how to buy in a bit of bulk should help her out some... the girl doesn't seem to know anything about coupons or sales flyers either when comes to planning for meals....

Someone please tell me this isn't going to be as long a road as I think it is... That someone has been able to get through to a wasteful kid at some point and show them... look! coupons!!! FREE MONEY!!!! You're buying it anyways, why not keep $3.00 in your pocket or $0.50 it's FREE MONEY!!! Or oh look! the family size chicken packets are buy one get one free and you were buying chicken anyways... buy the big family packet and get 8 chicken breasts for less than the price of the 4 chicken breast you were going to buy in the little packet (at least at our grocer, if it's buy 1 get 1 they just half the price makes it kind of funny cuz they advertise both buy1 get 1s and half off sales )

It is seriously enough to drive me nuts sometimes... And at the grocer I can't count the number of times the baggers have offered to go and grab a flyer for a coupon on something someone just bought and if it's a young kid in line they say "nah don't worry about it" while most everyone that looks about 30 and up says "oh yes please.. thank you so much..." Doesn't matter how much the coupon is for, a bit of change or a couple of bucks, the kids just always seem to blow off the offer. WHY?! You didn't even have to clip the coupon... you didn't even have to search the flyer... someone is basically asking you... Excuse me kiddo would you like five bucks? To which they respond ... Nah I'm good....

Now what if they were offered a $5.00 bill... how different do you think the answer would be? It might actually even end up the complete opposite cuz the 30 and up crowd would think it's some kind of scam, while the younger ones would be going WOOT! 5 bucks!!! But not if it's a coupon for $5.00 off something that's already in their grocery bag, nah we're cool we don't need THAT it's not like it makes a difference.

Starz, how on earth do you manage to remain upright while taking care of a 2 year old??!!

My two granddaughters are 17 months and I cannot (will not) watch even one of them by myself. My balance is so bad and I'm afraid I won't be able to move quick enough if something happened. I really wish I could do it but I'm just so unsteady I don't trust myself to be safe enough.

I'd love to have them spend the night and give DS and DIL a break......but her Mom keeps them occasionally overnight and they have a blast.

It's been a journey getting to the point of being able to take care of the 2 yr old that's for sure . But she's been used to gramma's "boo-boo's" for a while now. The DSD was living with us for a few months at first so the little one got a chance to understand that when it's just gramma and her around she need to be extra careful. (not necessarily better behaved, but she's less of a risk taker when it's just gramma around) When the DH gets home all bets are off when it comes to standing on chairs, jumping off furniture, running down the hall at full speed with her head covered by a blanket, going into the kitchen while he's cooking...

But when it's just the two of us, if I'm cooking I need only tell her "gramma's cooking" and she knows the entire kitchen is off limits. And it helps to give me peace of mind too that our stove is on the completely opposite side of the entrance to the kitchen. But it's amazing how well kids can adapt to the needs of their caregivers. I mean my mom, was really upset when she found out, but when I was 2 my grandmother used to watch me and I'd set up her medication for the week.

Nowadays could you imagine letting a 2 yr old play with pills and be responsible for putting them in an organizer?! Which yeah I'm a bit guilty of falling into that, because there's no way on God's great creation or beyond that my GB is going to so much as look at let alone touch any medication bottle until she is fully grown. (Okay she has looked at them, she had to see them to know that they are not in any way shape or form to be touched)

But it is truly amazing how kids can adapt to their caregivers. Which isn't to say she doesn't get into trouble.. oh my gosh the trouble she gets into... but it's just a different sort of mischief when she's with just gramma than when there's someone else around. When it's just us she's more into getting into the fridge while I'm in the bathroom, or pouring her drinks out on the floor, squeezing the life out of our cats (who are too stupid to scratch her), or playing in the bathroom shower (yet still only turns on the cold water since she knows no matter who is around, just like the pills she is not to touch the hot water.)

It can be done, but there's certain things you have to teach them that in no uncertain terms they cannot touch or do, 17 mo might seem like an impossible task, but spend as much time as you can with them with some help around and by the time they're two they'll know what they can, shouldn't and absolutely must not do when it's just them and gramma.

A little off topic, but in a similar ballpark.

When I was in my late 20's or early 30's, can't remember now, my Mom and I were babysitting one of my brother's little girls. She was probably kindergarten age at the time.

It was a Sunday morning and I needed to run to the drugstore just a few blocks away to get something. A real quick in and out. Well, my little niece wanted to go with me, and dumb me, saw no harm in taking her along for the ride.

WHAT a MISTAKE !!! Wow, did I learn a quick lesson. We got in the store and I grabbed what I needed. She wanted me to buy her this, that, and everything she saw. (They had an entire aisle of toys.) I told her I did not have money to buy any of the items she wanted. She was very distraught. Her Mom and Dad had money so why didn't I ???

Why do kids always think adults have money? Even when they are no longer kids themselves, they STILL think that their elders have money to cover them when they don't have enough.

I am now in my late 60's, the kids in their 30's and 40's and they STILL think just by virtue of being older, that I have money.

If I tell them the meager amount that I have to live on each month, they think I am making it up. They know I haven't been able to work in well over a decade but I guess they think I have a money tree in the backyard just waiting to be plucked as needed.

Hopeless, it sounds like their kids need a talking to.

These kids now have kids of their own. Maybe NOW they will understand.