Thank you so much Debbie and Erika

I took both of your advice and just got done with a nice long chat.

He really does only want me to do what makes me happy and that's rare in people nowadays.

We discussed our future. What I want and what he wants. We set goals so we can get a house in the future (his dad owns property so we can hopefully work out a rent to own situation). He said he still doesn't want me cleaning our house like a madman. Which is totally fine cuz I will be able to start a clean home and keep it from piling up dirt n dust. I get that I wont be able to have it perfect, but I wont have to worry about having a counterproductive roommate anymore.

I feel horrible for having the doubts I did about him. He said he will try not to leave messes behind. I agreed to be patient.

I read my messages above and I sound like a horrible person.
I want to say..
I am so grateful for this life.
im grateful to be able to get out of bed.
for my family. My friends.
for the roof over my head.
the clothes and shoes on my feet.
im grateful for all the bad times, for they strengthen me and remind me just how fortunate of a soul I am.

I hate that I get in these funks. They tend to turn me rather mean and angry. That's not who I am.

I appreciate you all and all the wonderful support and strength you all give me.
im sorry if i came off as hateful and ungrateful.
Todays a new day <3