Chaos, I'm so sorry you've had a rotten time of it after working so hard.

He does indeed sounds like he's been a giant pain in the behind rather than your help and support at such a special time. It's not fair and it sounds as if you put a lot of effort in for everyone and got very little out. It's so sad when even your family don't understand what you're going through.

Did you tell them how hurt you were that they didn't bother with gifts etc for you, or just some help? It's hard when you have a younger child because they need a little help and encouragement with gift buying, but you shouldn't have to do that yourself as well...

I so understand you wanting your old body and self back, and just to be able to do the things you used to. I feel the same. I'm lucky to have a supportive husband, who although he does a giant fail every now and then is pretty darn good day to day, but we went through a bad time early on and I still get big blues when I don't want to have to ask for things I should be able to do myself...I bet we all do.

I hope you can maybe sit your family down and explain that you just can't carry on like this, that you can't do what you want to anymore, and that you need their help around the house regularly. A list of chores up on a wall/door for them to choose from and tick off works ok for me, and means I'm not actually having to keep asking them (some smaller chores I mark specifically for my youngest who is 10, so the others don't just do those!!). I nudge if a day or two goes by without anything coming off it, but I think they feel a little less nagged A lot of the problem for us was that so much of what I did they just didn't realise I did, and didn't see themselves. I refresh the list every week and add in anything left over. It works ok, it's not a solution (we wish) but I feel less helpless and naggy, and I think they maybe realise how much I used to do (and still do!). You could even give them small treats for doing the jobs, my kids like that.

Anyway, I'm glad you got to have a bit more of your tattoo done - what is it you're having, it must be big?!

Take care of yourself, and I hope things improve for you soon. I'll be hoping the New Year brings you a fresh start in your home

Bram.