Exactly! And typically "when im not looking good", its usually when ive hit rock bottom and in desperate need of a break from everything. Im also a caregiver to family, and I think that's more important to them then, well me. Maybe that's why they don't ask. If I say im tired, sick or need a break then they don't have there help anymore. I threaten to move out and alls I get it "but we really need your help". And then when I finally unleash half the crap im feeling and dealing with, well then its "well just get your meds upped". I don't feel like theres any regard for me anymore. I used to know who I was and where I stood, I had friends, worked, a life. And all that was taken away and well I guess most normal people cant get that. They cant get how life changing that is, to have your life taken away from you. To have everything you thought you knew, just wrong. Life that seemed decent, turned completely upside down. And if I have trouble getting all of this crap, understanding it when I do deal with it, then how can they have any understanding when there not going threw it at all.
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Originally Posted by Vrae
Oh tos, I’m so sorry hon. It is so so hard.  No one who doesn’t have this will ever truly get it, which is why I am so very grateful for everyone on this site. When you talk about your exhaustion.. wow do I know what you mean. Crazy tired.
The “you don’t look good today” reminds me of something I saw recently… We may look ok some days, that doesn't mean we are not in the worst pain imaginable. One thing we do is to try our best and hide it. Would you rather we looked like rubbish every day? We get scrutinized when we look fine, but also when we don't!
'You don't look sick or anything...well you don't look stupid. Looks can be deceiving' 
Hang in there hon! We’re here for each other! |