I am so very sorry. I could have written your post. I cry every single day, for so many reasons. Yes, the pain... but what I fear is a life lost to the most insidious, excrutiating pain that never leaves. No one.. no one... no one could possibly get it, and I have to forgive them for that and show a level of grace and perseverence every day that I couldn't have imagined I possess. Really, hugs hugs and encouragement that you aren't alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopeful
I'm going to say sorry before I start for the whining that is coming 
I'm in so much pain today. I had IVIG yesterday. I usually feel like a war is going on in my body for the first day or two after but this is really bad.
I think it probably has to do with already being in so much pain from coming off the cymbalta. I woke in such horrible pain. After the little sleep I did manage to get. I'm a mess and have been for a while now.
I am trying so hard to keep my head above water. I am so sad today. I keep getting on the brink of tears and pushing them back down. I quess this could also be the serotonin level with the cymbalta.
I am finding myself yearning for my life before this disease stormed into my life. I feel like this has stolen the real me. I want to crawl into bed and never ever come out. Not to worry, my family will never let me get away with it and I wouldn't do it because I don't want to hurt and worry them. I can't cry in front of them. Only to myself or my husband.
Oops here come the tears. Surprise, seems I can cry to u too! I tried everything this morning. Reminded myself what I was grateful for. Looked at a pic of my two wonderful, funny granddaughters. It worked for a while.
I prayed for strength and hope. That also worked for a while.
Now it is starting again. The only thing I could think to do is reach out to people who understand.
I talk about my blessings, faith and hope. This morning I feel terrible because I find myself asking God how much longer am I suppose to endure this? I don't think I'm strong enough for it. I know there is a reason, that we may not know, why everything happens. I just want this to be over.
I just said last night to someone else to remember what they are grateful for. I said I believe in miracles. I still have those beliefs so why am I feeling so down.
I am praying this is from coming off the cymbalta. I can't bear this much longer.
Well, I warned you I was going to vent. Thanks for listening. I have to go blow my nose haha!!!
I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired!!
Hopeful |