Having a really bad day

heb1212 · 04-08-2014, 09:39 PM

I am so very sorry. I could have written your post. I cry every single day, for so many reasons. Yes, the pain... but what I fear is a life lost to the most insidious, excrutiating pain that never leaves. No one.. no one... no one could possibly get it, and I have to forgive them for that and show a level of grace and perseverence every day that I couldn't have imagined I possess. Really, hugs hugs and encouragement that you aren't alone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopeful

I'm going to say sorry before I start for the whining that is coming

I'm in so much pain today. I had IVIG yesterday. I usually feel like a war is going on in my body for the first day or two after but this is really bad.

I think it probably has to do with already being in so much pain from coming off the cymbalta. I woke in such horrible pain. After the little sleep I did manage to get. I'm a mess and have been for a while now.

I am trying so hard to keep my head above water. I am so sad today. I keep getting on the brink of tears and pushing them back down. I quess this could also be the serotonin level with the cymbalta.

I am finding myself yearning for my life before this disease stormed into my life. I feel like this has stolen the real me. I want to crawl into bed and never ever come out. Not to worry, my family will never let me get away with it and I wouldn't do it because I don't want to hurt and worry them. I can't cry in front of them. Only to myself or my husband.

Oops here come the tears. Surprise, seems I can cry to u too! I tried everything this morning. Reminded myself what I was grateful for. Looked at a pic of my two wonderful, funny granddaughters. It worked for a while.

I prayed for strength and hope. That also worked for a while.

Now it is starting again. The only thing I could think to do is reach out to people who understand.

I talk about my blessings, faith and hope. This morning I feel terrible because I find myself asking God how much longer am I suppose to endure this? I don't think I'm strong enough for it. I know there is a reason, that we may not know, why everything happens. I just want this to be over.

I just said last night to someone else to remember what they are grateful for. I said I believe in miracles. I still have those beliefs so why am I feeling so down.

I am praying this is from coming off the cymbalta. I can't bear this much longer.

Well, I warned you I was going to vent. Thanks for listening. I have to go blow my nose haha!!!

I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired!!

Hopeful

en bloc · 04-08-2014, 11:29 PM

I hope you have reduced the rate of your taper of the Cymbalta. I noticed you went from 90mg to 60mg, and then to 30mg. That was obviously too fast since you were so symptomatic. Maybe you could slow your taper down even slower so you don't feel so bad. This will take a while, but there's no rush to get off in a couple weeks or months. AND you will feel better while you do it. You must allow your body to adjust to the changes gradually.

You can succeed, just be kind to your body in the process.

Take care and keep us posted. Hope you start to feel better soon.

mrsD · 04-09-2014, 05:10 AM

Oh, I do really feel for you, Hopeful...

I just don't know what to say, that hasn't been said already.

We have a thread here on NT about using Ambien for neuropathic pain. I searched this topic, a while ago, and it appears that even low doses of Ambien work for some people.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread175064.html

I guess it works by altering consciousness in the brain, and blocking the transmission of pain impulses in the pain loop.

I don't know if you tried this for sleep yet, but it is something to consider if you are really suffering so much that coping is difficult.

Ambien can be problematic however, but it might help you in this pinch.

cat1234 · 04-09-2014, 07:40 AM

Oh hopeful. You are so uplifting to SO many people on this forum and it is awful to hear you are in so much pain. I feel for you. It is difficult to go through this frustrating disease when nobody else in your inner circle know what you are feeling and going through. It does sound like medication withdrawal since nothing else in your routine has changed right?

Over the summer, I was taking Ambien to sleep at night and have to tell you I felt great right after taking it...but it does make you crash hard. Try it if you cannot sleep at night?

Please keep posting so we can be there for you

PamelaJune · 04-09-2014, 08:20 AM

Yes everything you describe sounds like what I experienced when I stopped cymbalta and I'm so very sorry for you to have to experience this. I can only offer you hope. I hope you will trust in yourself to know it will get better, it is a chemical withdrawal and you can do this. You bravely tackle so much already and you inspire many readers here on NT. You are stronger than you feel, these feelings will pass. Do try and speak with your Doctor or even your pharmacist for an OTC if you haven't yet for something to help you through this difficult time. As hard as it feels, and as unlikely it may seem, it will pass I promise you. But you shouldn't do this alone. Do keep talking to us on NT, we are all here to support you and we understand what you are experiencing.

mrsD · 04-09-2014, 10:00 AM

I am seeing a few mentions on Google about using Ambien in very small doses, for daytime pain relief. 2.5mg was mentioned.

This is below the threshold for sleep induction for most people.

I don't know how useful this would be, but when people are in terrible pain, it might be an option for a while, until the stressor lessens. (in this case the adjustment to Cymbalta withdrawal).

hopeful · 04-09-2014, 01:04 PM

I can't say thanks you enough my friends. It does my heart good to know that all of you are here for me. Although I wish none of you had to go through this journey, it is a blessing to have people who literally understand my pain.

Just a few answers to some of your post. Enbloc I did go back to 60 mgs. one day and 30 the other for a while. Now I am back to 30 everyday for my second week. I'm really scared to go to 30 every other day so I'm not sure when I'm going to do this.

I actually have a GP appt today so Dr. Smith and Mrs. D I will ask about the L-tryptophan and low dose ambien. I am not sleeping much so both may help.

To all of you, I did let the tears come and although I have been exhausted it felt better to let it out. As I read all of your caring and encouraging answers I cried. I seriously don't know what I would do without all of you to talk to.

I said to God this morning if this is a test, I think it has been long enough. It's harder than any test I have ever taken. Then I thought of all of you and counted my blessings.

Thank you!!

I hope to be back in my normal of mind ASAP. I need a tissue again! Haha!!!

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