I'm really sorry. Having pain that bad in the ear would be more than horrible.
I hope the doctor you just saw can help you out.
I don't know anything about this condition but in searching I came across information regarding treatment options besides surgery and they mentioned Tegretol and Sansert.
I guess no 1 priority in getting the correct treatment is to find a doctor who will give you a diagnosis.
http://www.upmc.com/Services/neurosu...neuralgia.aspx
http://facial-neuralgia.org/conditions/tn-ni.html
This is old, but it helped me understand what you're dealing with there.
Perhaps you could also post on the
Trigeminal Neuralgia Forum
The members there would be familiar with the different neuralgias and may have some suggestions for you.