Thank you Bizi

I've been paying careful attention, but I'm not having any sx of hypomania or depression. These are intrusive thoughts... OCD. But I worry if I let it go it could trigger an episode. So far that has not been the case. I see pdoc tomorrow. I hope she can work some magic.

My husband can't get the 28th off to take me to the substance abuse evaluation. I'm going to ask my friend to take me, but there's no guarantee. It's a lot to ask because the appointment is 90min long. If Bill can't give me a ride, I'll just have to reschedule for a date when my husband can get the day off from work.

I mailed my Christmas cards and the package of gifts to my nephews yesterday before we hit the supermarket. The post office was deserted... I was very fortunate.

I texted my father in law yesterday to thank him for the card/gift card and I said he didn't have to do that. He said, "Of course I did, you're my daughter." I told him I hadn't texted for his birthday or holidays because my husband said not to. So he said it was best to keep my text a secret... He texted my husband, asked for my phone number, and asked if it was okay for him to text me.
My husband gave him my number and said it was up to him if he wanted to text me. When my husband came home, he told me his father had asked for my number and he gave it to him, and he said should probably give his mother (they're divorced) my number because she had been asking for it for a while.

He also decided to have me sign all those Christmas cards after all.

I'm confused, but I'm sure my husband had his reasons. But f I press him, he'll erupt. I'm better off not questioning it. He has his own version of what happened prior to our separation and has villainized me. Perhaps he didn't want to have that questioned. He also may have wanted to keep the extent of my MH problems a secret.

I'm very happy that I'm able to reconnect with my father in law. I love him very much and we've always been great friends. I have mixed feelings about my mother in law and my husband's step father. They are hard-core alcoholics and my husband really gets going when they're all together. My excessive drinking was isolated to hypomania prior to the 4mo period leading up to my s/s attempt. They always wanted me to visit, but I was expected to be seen and not heard. They have treated me poorly at times in the past. I love my husband's sister, but I don't have high hopes for rekindling a relationship there. She is very defensive of her brother, and I know that she is not happy that we are back together.

I feel better now that I know that not everyone hates me.