Thank you Bizi

I've been paying careful attention, but I'm not having any sx of hypomania or depression. These are intrusive thoughts... OCD. But I worry if I let it go it could trigger an episode. So far that has not been the case. I see pdoc tomorrow. I hope she can work some magic.

My husband can't get the 28th off to take me to the substance abuse evaluation. I'm going to ask my friend to take me, but there's no guarantee. It's a lot to ask because the appointment is 90min long. If Bill can't give me a ride, I'll just have to reschedule for a date when my husband can get the day off from work.

I mailed my Christmas cards and the package of gifts to my nephews yesterday before we hit the supermarket. The post office was deserted... I was very fortunate.

I texted my father in law yesterday to thank him for the card/gift card and I said he didn't have to do that. He said, "Of course I did, you're my daughter." I told him I hadn't texted for his birthday or holidays because my husband said not to. So he said it was best to keep my text a secret... He texted my husband, asked for my phone number, and asked if it was okay for him to text me.
My husband gave him my number and said it was up to him if he wanted to text me. When my husband came home, he told me his father had asked for my number and he gave it to him, and he said should probably give his mother (they're divorced) my number because she had been asking for it for a while.

He also decided to have me sign all those Christmas cards after all.

I'm confused, but I'm sure my husband had his reasons. But f I press him, he'll erupt. I'm better off not questioning it. He has his own version of what happened prior to our separation and has villainized me. Perhaps he didn't want to have that questioned. He also may have wanted to keep the extent of my MH problems a secret.

I'm very happy that I'm able to reconnect with my father in law. I love him very much and we've always been great friends. I have mixed feelings about my mother in law and my husband's step father. They are hard-core alcoholics and my husband really gets going when they're all together. My excessive drinking was isolated to hypomania prior to the 4mo period leading up to my s/s attempt. They always wanted me to visit, but I was expected to be seen and not heard. They have treated me poorly at times in the past. I love my husband's sister, but I don't have high hopes for rekindling a relationship there. She is very defensive of her brother, and I know that she is not happy that we are back together.

I feel better now that I know that not everyone hates me.

oh kay, I am glad that you feel better now.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Kay,

Your father-in-law sounds like a sweetie.

Your husband probably will continue to adjust/settle into this new version of your relationship.

I think marriages move/evolve/stay static/ evolve again -- as if they are living and breathing organisims.

My hubby does not complain to my in-laws because he does not talk to them about me at all. (Hubby MAJOR compartmentalizes). He does complain to a few friends about mental health type issues of mine but presents them as foibles / annoyances.
Also he feels comfortable complaining to my family and they are o.k. with listening to him a little.

M

i am so happy about your father-in-law but so sad about your sister-in-law.
maybe time will heal the relationship. you must also love her because she is so protective of her brother. too bad she has no influence over his drinking. I wonder if i should have written that. My father was the only one who drank. Once when we were little we went to a restaurant and my mother ordered a drink so unlike her. Myra and I when she wasn't looking would sip from her glass. then my mother thought she had consumed the alcohol and started behaving tipsy. it was so funny.After they had parties Myra and i would help clean up and we usually emptied the drinks. I guess we drank more than my mother.
bobby

Kay

Maybe keeping your contact information away from his dad and mom. Were a coping way for him. So maybe know that his father asked for the information,
he thinks giving to his mom is okay too. I think if you give his sister
some more time she will want what is best for him also. If she decides its
you she might want the information also. I'm glad he had you sign the
christmas cards too.

Donna

Around 8am I wrote to Bizi that I was stable and just having intrusive thoughts.

Around 9:30 while talking to the cab driver who was bringing me to my pdoc appointment, I realized my mood was elevated and I was especially chatty. I was in danger of being late to my appointment because I couldn't shut up and lost track of the time. Fortunately, she was running late.

In the waiting room, I went over yesterday's events in my mind. I had vacuumed, done 4 loads of laundry, swept the kitchen and bathroom floors, and made corned beef and cabbage. Doing all this is atypical for me given my usual limitations d/t MS. I also woke up 2hrs earlier than normal this morning.

I am hypomanic.

By now, you all know my history. It took months to shut down my last episode. I ****ing hope that's not the case this time. I can't bear the thought of struggling through another long episode like that. And I have no desire to spend the holidays in the psych ward again.

Seroquel is my heavy-hitter. I'm at 700mg now. The dose is being increased to 750mg. That should help with the intrusive thoughts, and hopefully the hypomania. The limit for seroquel is 800mg... I don't like being so close to that limit.

The second significant med is gabapentin. I'm currently on 400mg, a relatively low dose. That can be increased to 600mg and beyond if necessary. The increase(s) here are up to my discretion, based on my response to the 50mg increase of seroquel.

Getting the right balance of seroquel and gabapentin is what finally squashed that long episode. I hope it works (fast) this time around. Depending on how I feel tomorrow after adding the extra 50mg of seroquel tonight, I may increase the gabapentin to 600mg tomorrow night. I escalate too quickly to wait around.

At least I'm euphoric, and not dysphoric at this point.


Meanwhile, drunk.org called to reschedule my substance abuse evaluation again... now it's January 4th. I asked my husband to request the day off, but he's ****** they keep changing it, and he's afraid they'll change it yet again. Even if he asks for the day off, he may not be able to get it because of the holidays. I can't rely on my friend for a ride. He's going to be out of town. I may have to reschedule it. What a pain in the ***.

I asked pdoc for the note saying I'm proactive and compliant in my MH care so I can bring it to the evaluation. She said it was no problem. It will be ready for me at my next appointment on the 28th.

Kay,

More meds/ increased dosages -- whatever it takes to get you to the new year 2016.

M

Kay

So glad you know when it needs upped or changed.

Donna