My instincts tell me that the meetings would be harmful. Those same instincts tell me that talking about these things in any great detail in therapy isn't safe either because I'll bring the thoughts back home with me. I am dealing with things, privately, in bits and pieces, because that's what I'm capable of handling.

I am doing very well with my sobriety on my own. My 1 year is in July. It hasn't been hard despite living with a hardcore alcoholic. My cravings are almost nil, and when I do get them I'm very easily redirected. I have very good reasons to stay sober, and being on the right meds has made a world of difference.

Also, I don't know if the club would be the right place for a meeting for me even though there are a lot of people with bipolar disorder who have or had substance abuse problems…

I'm not quite sure it's the right place for me at all yet. I get so many comments that I don't look the part. I feel like I don't have the "right" kind of bipolar disorder to belong. I look so normal, and right now I can act so normal, but I'm sooooo ****ed up. I'm too crazy for the real world, but not crazy enough for their's… The funny thing is if I was really struggling right now, I would hide myself away. The last thing I would do is join a social club.