Hi Queenbee,
I must say that they're lucky they have you to care about them so much.
You mentioned that their son was wanting someone else to tell his mother. Well, maybe if no one is caring about or for them, then it will have to come to that and the Doctor or the surgeon will just have to do that although it sounds as if it's really neglectful that the son is allowing this whole situation to continue especially under the circumstances. I just can't understand it. ugh. Personally I think that the risk of losing the friendship is less important than the safety of the parents, but that's not a position that you or anyone should find themselves in the first place.

It's also really hard to imagine this can go on too much longer without anyone except you doing anything to help them out. What a worrying situation you find yourself in right now. I don't know... I think if I was in similar situation and I knew the doctor's name I'd have to intervene. If your friend is not going to do anything about the situation and in light of the dangers involved there might not be any other choice.

Well, I'm thinking of you. I hope to come visit here one day and hear that the son has sorted out some of his parent's affairs and that they're safer and receiving care. You're a good person for having helped them out. I'm sorry that the Mother thinks her sons can help her when they're not doing that at all. I guess people are like that. I'm like that and know others like that. We have our independence and it's difficult to give up even when we're really ill. Not sure if she's just being stoic or not though.

Talk later.
Lara

Edited later to add:
I was just reading an article down the list in the forum which Chemar had posted quite a while ago... it's regarding care of the caregiver. I thought it was very good. Maybe your friend doesn't realize just what is available out there to help him help his mother. It's an excellent article. Maybe you just will have to keep throwing this info. out and hope that your friend finally "hears" you.

http://www.medilexicon.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=56554
Counseling Alzheimer's Caregivers Postpones The Nursing Home
15 Nov 2006